I have these great enlargement pills....JK. It is now Day 5 on my second attempt to quit my love affair with psychostimulants. I actually started at the age of 24, approximately 10 years to the date. I guess that is what is filling my time these days. I am unemployed, having resigned my job last December and taking up an offer to go back to school from my parents. I struggled my 1st semester and decided to give Adderall another try. Did I get A's? Sure I did. However, the same nagging thoughts and problems soon resurfaced. Does Adderall help? Sometimes. However, instead of taking the drug like a normal human being I "enjoy" taking it another way. It is much more fun for me to pull all nighters. I like the binge. The fantasy of frozen time. My last round of monthly pills got gobbled up last week. Not like I can't relate to every single post on this site and now forum, but one post somewhere I could relate to most. I finished my pills because I just had this desire to get "it" over with. Take the last of the pills in an adrenaline imposed fury so I would be out and the nightmare would end. That is what it was at the end, a nightmare. I knew how destructive and dangerous it is popping those lovely pills. Chasing the buzz but at the same time I just wanted it to be over with. What do I have to show for those 10 years? Runaway spending, marriage, divorce, Bankruptcy. Living at home now and rebuilding my life. My biggest decision right now is to refill till the end of the semester then apply to my program, use that 9 months off of school again to work a part time job and then truly detox or to continue these five days and tough out this sememster taking what grades I can get? I don't know. Doesn't matter in a way because the quit is inevitable. I can't, my body can't do it anymore. It is cheating. The A's I get aren't worth it because deep down I know it is bullshit. I have let so many people down most importantly myself with this crap. And yes, the shrinko told me eventually I won't need it anymore because my mind will magically know how to concentrate. I could ramble on more but it will just be an affirmation of everything that has all ready been written on the site. It is all one big lie. This stuff should be outlawed I wish I would have never eaten the rotten apple. Actually went to the gym today and walked three miles. Anything to break up the constant napping and sitting around like a used piece of toilet paper. Sorry to be crude but anyone who has done this knows it. Anyway, love this site and the people on it. Good to know I am not alone.