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ashley6

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Posts posted by ashley6

  2. Sleep study

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    So, I've been struggling with being very tired like....since I quit adderall. It really has become a way of life for me to sleep like 14-16 hours after my busy work weeks. I sleep as much as I can in a night. I work so much as this job. My boyfriend convinced me I should probably figure out what's going on with me, so I told my doctor how much I can and want to sleep, and also that I have weird jerking movements sometimes at night. I asked them to refer me to a sleep study place. I had my consult today with the doctor for sleep disorders. I told him a lot about myself, including my history of adderall addiction, and how I've struggled with being tired ever since then. He wants to rule out narcolepsy. He says I show some signs, but he wants to monitor my sleep overnight in two weeks. I'm so so so scared of having a debilitating sleep disorder, because, as you all know, I'm a speed addict. Quit-once, I remember you saying in a post awhile back that if we ever had narcolepsy, we couldn't treat it with stimulants because we basically burned those bridges. The doctor then said something about Nuvigil or Provigal. I said wait, are those stimulants? I was VERY upfront with him about the seriousness of my speed addiction, so be said I'd have to be really careful. He said it's much less addictive, but in my heart of hearts, I know I can't be on something that increases wakefulness and works on dopamine receptors. It made me feel physically sick that I had a thought like....wow, I would like that. I cried in our consultation. Adderall made my life so awful, but the thought crept in, and it sickens me. It's so hard being tired so often and trying to work so many hours, but I know the alternative would be much worse. I knew I needed to come here after that appointment today because I scared myself. I'm going to try to be optimistic that I don't have narcolepsy, but it's hard. I would appreciate any feedback!!!

  7. 12 Miles a Week Runners Club - NEW

    in Lounge (off-topic stuff)

    Posted

    InRecovery,

    Wow, you've come a looooong way....thanks for sharing the story!

    Occasional,

    I'm really glad you decided against it. I was thinking to myself, why do people go around offering drugs? Then I realized I was that person, except I didn't want to share much, which is even worse.

    Oh yeah, I didn't mention I have to transport it again tomorrow. This thread makes me realize how I've missed my quittingadderall friends.

    • Like 3

  8. 12 Miles a Week Runners Club - NEW

    in Lounge (off-topic stuff)

    Posted

    Zerokewl,

    I've never heard anyone say they don't feel better after they quit smoking, and I'm realllly proud of you.

    You guys....not that I thought I would ever stop being a speed addict, but when it was sitting next to me in my possession, it was a reminder that all it would take is one pill....because, well, it wouldn't be one pill! I just wanted them away from me, but I think reminders like this can be positive! I'm grateful.

    P.S. InRecovery, I don't know why, but I didn't follow your story? Is it just me? It's quite possible!

    I meant to add that it makes me feel a lot better that I'm not alone in thinking that situation was super uncomfortable!

    • Like 1

  9. 12 Miles a Week Runners Club - NEW

    in Lounge (off-topic stuff)

    Posted

    Zerokewl,

    You're doing great....keep up the hard work? Are you still cigarette free?

    Today I had a moment that I don't want to have again. My job entails a lot of things, and I had to transport Vyvanse with me. I was given the bottle with it being said that she doesn't know how many are in the bottle...that's the first time I've had speed in my possession since quitting. It was so uncomfortable having the medication in the seat me under my care....just thought I'd share my experience today!

    • Like 2

  11. 12 Miles a Week Runners Club - NEW

    in Lounge (off-topic stuff)

    Posted

    I worked out twice this week, although most of it was walking. I walked 3.5 miles one day and ran a mile. Then yesterday, I'd say I did about 2 miles walking and a mile running (I was out where my GPS doesn't pick up well, so I'm not really sure how much I did). It's not much, but I notice a difference in my mood and energy if I just get out and move.....good job, zerokewl and occasional!

    • Like 2

  12. 12 Miles a Week Runners Club - NEW

    in Lounge (off-topic stuff)

    Posted

    I like the conversation on how you ladies have lost weight. And guys, the drive thru is what has gotten me too! I'm on the road for work all day, and it's way too easy to stop for something quick. I've even started craving McDonald's, and I didn't even used to like it really. This week I cut back on it, though, and was better, but it's hard. I've got to get a grip! I only worked out once this week, walked 3.5 miles and walked one. I can tell I'm out of shape, because I was SORE for two days.

  13. 12 Miles a Week Runners Club - NEW

    in Lounge (off-topic stuff)

    Posted

    I've been keeping fairly active boot camps, cycling etc. Since I quit smoking my diet has been like a 12 year old on a sleepover. I need to stop eating fuzzy peaches, chips, ice cream drumsticks, liquorice and mcflurries. If I continue to eat this way, I will be on a TLC special where morbidly obese people leave their bedroom for the first time in decade. They will need a forklift, a crane, and gigantic lever to finally free me from my food prision. I'm going shopping for sweatpants and Velcro shoes tomorrow.

    I laughed out loud at this post....hilarious. I think food is the lesser of two evils right now. I'm sure some people who have quit smoking have some insight on this, instead of just cracking up like me. "I'm going shopping for sweatpants and Velcro shoes tomorrow." 😂

    • Like 1

  14. 12 Miles a Week Runners Club - NEW

    in Lounge (off-topic stuff)

    Posted

    I've been pretty consistent with my zero miles.

    InRecovery,

    My schedule isn't quite as full as yours, but most nights I don't get home until 7:30 or 8 or so, and it's become way too easy to put running on the back burner. I wasn't exactly hitting my 12 miles every week before that, so I guess a lot of it's laziness. I'm thinking about just trying to start at least walking. It's good exercise still, and I don't feel so overwhelmed with the thought of it. We will see.

  15. Here I am...again

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Evie,

    I'm glad you came back to us, even if it was to share that you've been using. Have you made the choice to tell your doctor you're an adderall addict, so (hopefully) he or she won't prescribe you adderall? For me personally, I knew deep down when I was ready to give quitting like a

    half-assed shot, and when I was truly ready to quit. The difference in the two was a year or so, and as you know, quitting is a beast (even when I desperately wanted it). Do you feel ready to make the leap? I have faith that you can do it.....take note of how you feel- all of the negatives of adderall that you listed (as someone else said). It's too easy to forget. I often get reminders here on this site....just another reason it's a Godsend. You can quit if that's what you decide you want, and we're here rooting for you!

    • Like 1

  16. 12 Miles a Week Runners Club - NEW

    in Lounge (off-topic stuff)

    Posted

    Cassie and InRecovery,

    InRecovery- My body's like what the fuck, you lazy ass?! I'm sorry for the language, but I think that's what it's saying :) I'm 5'3, so 8 pounds is significant!

    Cassie- I'm 29, and I have to think that it has a lot to do with age too. I was just saying that the other day. I'm very saddened by this :( So Cassie, you're saying if I exercise I STILL can't eat what I want without being fat?!

  17. 12 Miles a Week Runners Club - NEW

    in Lounge (off-topic stuff)

    Posted

    Occasional,

    You did an awesome job. You should be happy with that!

    I did..zero miles. I went to the doctor a couple of days ago, and I've gained 8 pounds since December. I had a freak out, because I've never had to worry about my weight. I guess the time has come where I can't eat whatever I want and not be running, or at least doing something physically active. I've been slacking waaaay too much lately.....and there is my rant....have a good week, everybody :)

    • Like 1

  18. Permanent Brain/Other Damage?

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    I had the same conversational awkwardness when abusing adderall. My friends that were around me a lot during that time said it was like a delay in my brain when responding to normal conversational things...and these were people I was totally comfortable with. I feel like adderall made me act really awkward, and my personality was just flat.....or at least that's how I viewed it.

  19. 18 months clear at the end of June

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Sebastian,

    I haven't seen you post in a long time and congratulations on nearing 18 months! I wish you were feeling better. Maybe adderall did solve all of your life problems, but my guess is that is not the case. You put adderall on a pedestal that I don't think it deserves. It took away reality for you, and reality would eventually return at some point. I feel like you get so much good advice here but don't really want to hear it. I feel like you'd rather continue to talk about your feelings on it and all the great things about adderall rather than consider what others have to say to you about alternatives. I don't want that to sound harsh, but it probably does. I think you know I only have good intentions. Sebastian, it gets so much better. I don't like pushing medications if you're trying to avoid them, but time has helped me SO much....as well as Wellbutrin. You have to decide what's best for you....adderall/no adderall/antidepressants/no antidepressants. No one can decide that for you.....hang in there!

    • Like 2

  20. 12 Miles a Week Runners Club - NEW

    in Lounge (off-topic stuff)

    Posted

    Zerokewl,

    I'm very proud of you for quitting smoking. I can't imagine what a battle this will be for me....huge props to you! It sounds like you're replacing a bad habit with a healthy one, so keep up the good work!

    Well, check in Sunday is here. I did 50 minutes of cardio on the treadmill Saturday. The screen was broken, so I have no idea how far I went. I mixed it up between walking and running...maybe one week I'll actually run 12 miles!

    • Like 1

  25. going back to the gym

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Brandnewme,

    I really think you'll find that you feel better once you find a job! I recently started my first "real" job since finishing college, and it has made a big difference in how I feel overall. Before the job, I had lots of idle time, and as much as I like it sometimes, only short periods of idle time are good for me. I think it's great that you have AA as a support system. If you're going to meetings in Illinois, I bet you'll gain back a steady support system there. I don't go to meetings, but I have been, and I've seen how great it can be for addicts. I don't particularly remember 16 months, but I do know that I didn't start feeling like I was getting motivation until about two years, but it varies for everyone, so just hang in there, and I think you'll feel better soon! Exercise is great for your mental state (and so many other benefits) so definitely a good idea! I need to get my butt back to exercising! I hope you'll keep us posted and a huge congratulations on 16 months!

    • Like 2
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