[One Word Status Update]

hopeful!!!!  Thank ful for this website!!!!!    

[Please help]

I'm in the process of weaning myself off the adderall. I was prescribed 60 mg a day but of course that was not enough so I doubled my dose to 120 mg a day. I would buy them when my prescription ran out. This was going on for about a yr and a half. My husband recognized I had a big problem with abusing the adderall so he now gives me 40 mg a day and hides the bottle from me.  I heard going off adderall cold turkey can have devastating results.  The 40 mg last about 2 hrs and then I crave the adderall for the rest of the day.  Today I found the bottle and snucked a couple more.  I'm tryng to learn how to function without them and it is extremely hard!!! I told my family and friends what was going on with me and asked for their support. If I dont get this under control my husband suggested rehab. I don't want to go that route because I have a 18 month old daughter. Is there anyone you can confide in and can manage your dose for you?  Let me know if I can help in anyway!!!!! Hang in there!!!!!    

[OCD]

Ashley,

I have severe ocd. The adderall has definitely made my symtoms worse. My obessions and rituals became more frequent while i was taking a high dose of adderall. The form of ocd that i have is a rare form. Most people dont have it the way i do. I take 80 mg of prozac to help with the obsessions. My ocd is more mental. I get thoughts stuck in my head that i cant get rid of unless i perform a titual which can be time consuming!!! Let me know if i can be any help to you!!! I totally understand the ocd and adderal thing!!!!

[When did you realize you needed to stop?]

I realized i had a problem when i was taking double the amount i was prescribed..so for 2 wks i would be out of my adderall.. i convinced a friend of mine to sell me her adderall to get me through until my next prescription. I just kept wanting more and more. Enough was never enough!!!! I was taking 120 mg a day and smoked a pack of cigs a day. I would lie to my husband about how much adderall i took every day. I eould not leave the house without my pills!!! If i ran out of adderall i would call out of work and tell everyone i had the flu!!!!

[Good Bye Letter to Adderall From Krista]

How far are you in the recovery process??

[Good Bye Letter to Adderall From Krista]

Dear adderall,

You now have mefighting for everything I love in my life. Myself, my husband and my daughter. If I never meant you I would not have to endure the emotional roller coaster you put me and my loved ones on. You managed to control my every thought and every move.   I have become solely dependant on you.  You lead me to believe that I need you and can not function without you.  I believed for so long that you are the reason for my happiness.  You have taught me how to be a good liar and minipulator.  I have looked my husband in the  eye and  lied to him with a straight face. My husband warned me about you but I choose not to listen because you have been so important to me. I thought you were the answer to all of my problems but in reality you just made my problems worse!!! You have sucked me into a deep and dark hole. You have become the enemy within becoming my worst nightmare. You have made me weak. I will no longer give into you. I will reclaim my life and self back through the love and support of my family and friends. I hate you!!!!
                                                                                                                                              Krista