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About idontcare

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  • Birthday 12/01/1985

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    Seattle, WA
  • Interests
    They used to be writing music, drawing and video games.

    Day 25 confirmed. Almost there.
  2. Do any Doctors Even Understand?

    I took Provigil again today in the form of the unscheduled, legal Adrafinil. Took a slightly higher dose, but still not over the basic dose guidelines. I can't say it's "habit forming" per se, but like Wellbutrin, antidepressants and most drugs in general, your body could no doubt become dependent on it with consecutive use. But, since there is no euphoria or feel good sensation, there is no compulsion to take more than needed, redose, or even take everyday. Now... there are a few reports I've read where people get mood lifts and end up hooked on Provigil. I'm not a doctor and I'm certainly not suggesting you get on any medication, but it's worth researching cautiously.
  3. Intellectual Achievements After Adderall

    I'm really interested in this thread. I hope someone responds because I'm an artist and a musician just hoping I'll eventually get that spark back. Intellectual, artistic -- pretty much the same as they both require energy and a certain level of creativity.
  4. Anyone here completely back to normal?

    "If you gained 50 pounds in a year, you wouldn't expect to be able to lose it in a month, would you?" Without speed, no haha.
  5. Do any Doctors Even Understand?

    Out of your system in 30 days? Are they high? Amphetamine's half life only allows it to stay in your system for about a day. ^^ Cassie, do you really find Provigil addictive? I tried Adrafinil for the first time today and I must say, I'm underwhelmed (in a good way). There is zero euphoria or recreational value. It just flat out doesn't make me feel good, just not tired. I'd be interested in your reasoning for stating it's a risk. I'm assuming there are minor dopamine reuptake inhibition properties but I don't feel, as far as mood boost, much different than popping a few L-tyrosine capsules (which is borderline placebo).

    Day 24 confirmed. Got a little relapsey yesterday but I defeated the cravings.

    Congrats on week 1! Day 23 confirmed. Feeling energetic, more like jittery and annoying, but also depressed and stuck in the past.
  8. Confused

    I'm getting a small amount of Adrafinil in the mail today. Gonna give that a shot. I heard tree is no euphoria or recreational value so I'm not worried about getting addicted. I got such a small amount that I wouldn't have the time to get hooked anyway. If it feels "good," I'll know not to order anymore.
  9. Confused

    Yeah, paired with DL-phenylalanine (which is a precursor to Tyrosine). I'm also taking L-theanine with caffeine. Didn't notice much of a different so far, probably because I'm used to bombarding my receptors with speed.

    Day 22 and hating it!
  11. Confused

    Hey, thanks for asking. All is ok I guess. 22 days clean. It's getting harder for me. It seems paradoxical in a way. I started feeling great at about 2 weeks, but now I'm declining further into lethargy and depression. Nothing I haven't struggled with before amphetamine I suppose. That was a huge reason I got on them to begin with. It's getting tougher and tougher to distinguish between my shitty normal life and amphetamine withdrawal everyday. I'm goin' for it. Fucking with supplements and trying to be healthier is more of a priority than going back to the pill. I have to at least give myself a shot at being clean.
  12. Confused

    Yes... I remember finally sleeping after being up for days recording music and then waking up in agony, barely able to hold a cup of coffee. I already had tendinitis from drumming (I was really young, self taught with bad technique). Anyway, I guess I'm on day 17 now. My mood is pretty blah. Not worse, but not better either. I hardly feel like I'm in withdrawal anymore. Just bored and uninspired, I suppose. I just ordered a bunch of supplements to possibly speed up the replenishment of neurotransmitters so I can just get on with my fucking life again.
  13. Being clean

    Whether or not we get better requires no faith. That's the beauty of science. The brain is plastic and our receptors will upregulate over time. The part where faith comes in is believing that we can get through the often slow and grueling process. Congratulations on getting this far. I've got a long way to go, I feel.
  14. Confused

    Thanks! I'm 16 days clean today. I picked up my guitar and attempted to write music yesterday for the first time in weeks. That felt huge, and strange. I know people love to trash amphetamine here and talk about how it stifles creativity, but I wrote like a fucking champion on it. I was able to shit out awesome riffs and arrange entire songs in one session (a very unhealthy 14 hour session). Listening back on the songs I wrote, I know it will be hard to write the same without dexedrine. That doesn't mean it won't be as good, just different. I'm likely never gonna replicate that manic, sleep deprived flow where I'm not even doing work, but letting my subconscious take the reins and just do it. My work on amphetamine was surprisingly not all that detail oriented. I just went with it (something I could never do while sober). I'm ok with that. I think once I get healthy and "free," I'll still utilize occasional sleep deprivation (minus the drugs) for inspiration and being able to not over analyze everything. When I picked up my guitar yesterday, nothing amazing or interesting happened. It was just fun, unproductive play, something I need after burning myself out so hard for a year straight.
  15. Confused

    14 days sober tomorrow! Kinda wanna pop a dexedrine to do my taxes, clean and handle my obligations, but I want to do those things even more WITHOUT amphetamine!