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Anon55

Relationship advice

9 posts in this topic

Its amazing reading all of these testimonials and realizing how relatable everyone's experiences are. The absolute number one reason I want to quit adderall is because of my relationship with my girlfriend.  We've been dating each other for a year and a half now and we have an amazing relationship.  I've never told her that I take adderall out of fear of judgement (even though she is an incredibly non-judgemental, compassionate, and loving person).

 

After starting adderall in college and taking it off and on for 3 years, a few months ago I decided to quit. I didn't have much of a problem getting over the chemical part of the addiction and my relationship wasn't much affected either. Overall, I don't think it has a huge effect on my relationship, but to some degree I do notice some of the same relationship issues that people have mentioned on this site.

 

Just a few days ago I started working a new job across the country from my girlfriend where I will be working 12 hour shifts alternating between day and night shifts every two weeks. I ended up taking the pills on my first day of work with the thought that I would perform much better and make a good first impression and have been taking the pills since.

 

In the meantime my girlfriend has been looking at different jobs near me so she can move in with me.  She has already had interviews with multiple companies and could easily end up getting a job near me very soon.  However, I feel like I can't keep this from her much longer and I'm terrified of how she will react if she finds out that I have been taking adderall whether I am the one to tell her, or she somehow incidentally finds out.

 

Part of me wants to just quit right now cold turkey and never have it be an issue again, and another part of me wants to keep taking it because I don't feel like it has a huge effect on my relationship and it would allow me to excel at my new job.

 

Any suggestions?

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the important question here is whether you feel that you're abusing adderall or taking it therapeutically. once you answer that, the next question is why do you feel the need to quit? is it guilt because you don't think you really need it? is it fear of abuse or escalation to addiction?

from your post it sounds like the reason you started up again was to perform at work.. idon't know what profession you're in but the hours and alternating shifts seems like adderall bait. all it takes is one night or day you can't sleep because of your shifts then you use adderall to make up for it.

iIhave friends that have enough problems in their relationship due to night and day shifts without adderall being a factor. IMO the risks here outweigh the benefits. if she is moving across the country to be with you, don't sabotage this relationship with unecessary risk!

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First of all, you need to tell her.  It is hard to quit Adderall without support and external accountability.  I was working Night shift when I started taking Adderall, too.  Alternating shifts like that is hard enough on your body without the added stress of Adderall addiction.  Stop now, before you get too deep.  But, tell her.  Good luck and welcome to the site! 

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I think a more worrying thing is that you use the words "fear of judgement" and "terrified" when debating opening up to your girlfriend. That's a shaky foundation.

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I too am having some issues with my Adderall and my relationship, thought rather new.  I have intense anxiety inside of my head and have a hard time with differentiating whether it's because this relationship is wrong for me/wrong time in life/have to quit taking this stuff, etc.  or if the Adderall is wreaking havoc on my brain chemistry causing me to freak out inside.  I'm rather worried in general and want to quit but I'm scared of being out of commission for a while.  I feel stuck.

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Maisy I'm kinda in the same boat as you right now..

Anon55- so much to say about this. My first instinct is to tell you to tell her. Do you love this girl? Can you see something really developing with this relationship? I'm not sure how old you are.. If she really loves you, she wouldn't judge you. She may want you to quit though, so if you tell her you need to be prepared to hear that. But she could be your motivation to quit too..? You could tell her and she could leave you.. (Although that would be surprising..) but if she did, would that be an enough of a wake up call for you to stop taking it? Is that what you need? I personally don't think you're gonna be able to stop while you keep this all a 'secret'. And I agree w the working late/nights being a bait for adderall. sometimes you need to change the things in your life that make you want to turn to ad to be your 'crutch'. But I just started tapering a week ago after being on ad for 8-9 years so what do I know..🤔😳

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I quit for a girl. adderall ruined my last relationship, mostly due to neglecting her and being obsessed with every random thing. fwiw, itried quitting once while iIwas with her. she stuck with me through it, but i relapsed and that's when it all went to hell.

so i finally quit because I had met someone new and never want to lose love due to adderall again.

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