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OnSomething

Who were you on Adderall??

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What was your normal day like? My Fridays usually included hand picking hairs out of my carpet (because if I was vacuuming at 2am that'd look suspicious), spending 4 hours at Fred Myers to get like 1 item, then attempting to rearrange all of my papers but usually I'd end up getting too sick to actually do anything so I'd pace around for a few hours mentally prepping to do it. My binge days were even worse. 

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Sitting alone playing guitar, frequent visits to the gas station for nicotine and caffeine, doing 12 hours of advanced physics, mathematics and thermodynamics in 2 or 3 hours as fast as I could in the middle of the night for school. Staring at my phone for hours. Not sleeping. Not eating. Obsessing over my girlfriends actions and the idea she was cheating. Downers - alcohol, klonopin, weed, sleep meds. Trying to play music at a reasonable volume cause I didn't want apartment mates to hear at 2 or 3 or 4 in the morning. 

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honestly?

1. (still at work) get excited about something to do when i finally get back home

2. pop a few pills on the drive home. psyched to do that thing!

3. way too horny now. should probably jerk off first and get it out of the way.

4. download porn for 4 hours

5. organize, catalog and tag said porn on computer

6. research and download better tools for said organization

7. forget to jerk off

8. fuck- only 30 minutes till i have to leave for work

9. jerk off furiously, unable to finish cause- well you know.

10. never did that first thing, but its okay- i'll have plenty of time tonight!

 

lol.

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5 hours ago, sleepystupid said:

honestly?

1. (still at work) get excited about something to do when i finally get back home

2. pop a few pills on the drive home. psyched to do that thing!

3. way too horny now. should probably jerk off first and get it out of the way.

4. download porn for 4 hours

5. organize, catalog and tag said porn on computer

6. research and download better tools for said organization

7. forget to jerk off

8. fuck- only 30 minutes till i have to leave for work

9. jerk off furiously, unable to finish cause- well you know.

10. never did that first thing, but its okay- i'll have plenty of time tonight!

 

lol.

I actually laughed reading this because I made porn folders on my computer too. I remember googling good porn organization and getting pissed that there weren't any women answering (lol). The only main difference is instead of just watching porn, I'd make it. I have countless videos with guys I couldn't even tell you the names of. I'm a pre-med student so I get how Adderall works, but I still feel like it's odd how horny it makes, like, everyone? 

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lol yes it does make you so damn horny. I too spent countless hours on porn when I wasn't with my girlfriend which I usually felt guilty afterwards 

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I would stay up all night building my sound studio. I’d spend hours stapling the soundproofing to the walls and the staples were perfectly aligned and evenly spaced. This would go on all night until sunrise when I would start getting ready for work. I would then go to work and be a complete lunatic while thinking I was the man and I’d volunteer for every task only to fail in my delivery. This went on for 4-5 days a week until my body couldn’t take it and I would literally crash for 2-3 days. The crashes didn’t always come on the weekend so I would just not show up to work for 2 days and call in with some excuse. I was supposed to fly to Chicago one Monday and instead I slept through my flight and the meeting with a client, that didn’t go over so well. I did this for a good 3 years until I was fired. 

Who was I? I was just a cracked out version of myself. I was mister Hyde.

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@Danquit  i totally relate to the obsessiveness with my home studio and recordings. it's the kind of thing that you end up getting absolutely lost down the rabbit hole with. poured tons of money into gear, downloaded and hoarded every piece of software i could find- at some point i was doing more "studio" work than actual songwriting lol.

the worst was when i started having auditory hallucinations while mixing. i would spent HOURS trying to figure out why there was some random sound off in the far corner of the mix, trying to isolate it and move it around. i'd get obsessed with it, still hear it while lying in bed which drove me even more nuts.. :lol:

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I obsessed over recording and playing and would play songs a ridiculous amount of times and it would never sound just how I wanted. I would half ass learn like a 100 songs a day any song you can think of I probably learned it and recorded it. I would pretty much berate and hate myself for any hiccup in the song or if I couldn't hit the notes lol 

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On 5/10/2018 at 9:19 AM, sleepystupid said:

@Danquit  i totally relate to the obsessiveness with my home studio and recordings. it's the kind of thing that you end up getting absolutely lost down the rabbit hole with. poured tons of money into gear, downloaded and hoarded every piece of software i could find- at some point i was doing more "studio" work than actual songwriting lol.

the worst was when i started having auditory hallucinations while mixing. i would spent HOURS trying to figure out why there was some random sound off in the far corner of the mix, trying to isolate it and move it around. i'd get obsessed with it, still hear it while lying in bed which drove me even more nuts.. :lol:

I bought so many mics, audio interfaces, compressors, studio monitors, mic stands, speaker cables, keyboards, computers, software, etc. and it was all top of the line stuff and I had never recorded in my life! I just thought if I build it, the skills would come. I did learn a lot while doing this project but my false confidence led me to believe I was already a recording legend. In the end I had to disassemble the whole thing and I ended up selling everything for pennies on the dollar. 

I wish I had that studio today, I definitely want to rebuild it when I get a house where I can use what I learned. I’m sure it would be so much simpler and functional rather than a ton of expensive equipment that looked great but were just a gross representation of my state of mind at the time.

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