sweetupbaaby

Maybe I haven't lost my mind

4 posts in this topic

Hey friends,

Just wanted to share a milestone with you today.

I haven't taken an Adderall pill for 28 days. I use to consume 80-240mg of XR daily for 4.5 years.

Within the first week, I thought I had lost my mind. I wasn't able to string a sentence together when speaking out loud or while writing. I would be mid-conversation and the words I was looking for would just leave my mind and I would be left hanging. It's so very frustrating to not be able to articulate your words and feelings, especially being a writer. I felt like I had lost the majority of my vocabulary.

For the first time in almost a month, I found myself having a conversation today and the words were starting to come to me more effortlessly. To be able to articulate what you are feeling without stuttering is something I obviously took for granted. Truly, this may not mean much to others but this is huge for me. I thought I had lost all ability to be a functioning human. Now, more than anything I think this has taught me that my brain will not be broken forever. I'm starting to see a pin-drop of light at the end of the tunnel. I know I have a long way to go but being able to grasp on to anything for hope is a Godsend on this journey.

By the way, my skin is now glowing like I have never seen before in my life!! Bonus!

Keep pushing everyone!!

 

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3 hours ago, sweetupbaaby said:

To be able to articulate what you are feeling without stuttering is something I obviously took for granted. Truly, this may not mean much to others but this is huge for me. I thought I had lost all ability to be a functioning human. Now, more than anything I think this has taught me that my brain will not be broken forever. I'm starting to see a pin-drop of light at the end of the tunnel. I know I have a long way to go but being able to grasp on to anything for hope is a Godsend on this journey.

 

Nice work!! Getting that “oh I’m not broken” feeling was such a huge deal for me too. I’m only a little over a month out from you (62 days) but I promise you’ll keep seeing more and more progress, little by little, especially with conversations.

I had to fly home this weekend for a family issue and I was so worried since I had been quarantining by myself for the last two months. Didn’t know how I could constantly be around family and have conversations all day without adderall, felt too soon. But honestly it has been easier than when I was on meds - I’m way less anxious, don’t have the adderall crash, and I have my personality back.

I haven’t been as depressed too, and last week was reallllll bad. 

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23 hours ago, sweetupbaaby said:

Within the first week, I thought I had lost my mind. I wasn't able to string a sentence together when speaking out loud or while writing. I would be mid-conversation and the words I was looking for would just leave my mind and I would be left hanging. It's so very frustrating to not be able to articulate your words and feelings, especially being a writer. I felt like I had lost the majority of my vocabulary.

word salad! yea, this was the scariest side-effect post quitting for me. it literally felt like i had permanently damaged my communication systems - but as you've already discovered, it does come back (:

congrats on a month clean! keep on keeping on

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8 hours ago, sleepystupid said:

[...] but as you've already discovered, it does come back (:

...thank God. 

Just stumbled upon this post and had been terrified of this as well, since I always notice in on the days before my refills. Glad to know it’s likely not permanent upon quitting

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