Cassie
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Posts posted by Cassie
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How badly do you want to quit?
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How long were you on add & what was your dosage?
20-40 mg/day, 5 years. Everyone's recovery time is different. Your age, attitude, lifesyle, general health, environment, etc etc are all going to factor in.
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I felt equally foggy every day for the first three months. Month 4 started to get a little more energy. After a year didn't have much brain fog anymore. You need to be realistic about recovery because it's a long, slow process. It gets worse before it gets better, too. You just have to be willing to push through the painful periods.
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Haha, I don't think it's meant to be worn in public. I would like to try one!interesting...but its so funny looking. i dont think i could ever wear that in public
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Great job, Heather. It's awesome when you're not counting the days/months anymore, and just living your life. Clean time will fly by now.
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20-40 mgs/day for 5 years. I could function right away - it was just very difficult, slow and incredibly uncomfortable. It took about 3 months for physical energy to start to return. It took over a year to get used to working without it, but this was all internal. I didn't get fired from my job, and no one ever said anything negative about my performance or work quality.
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Saw this in a magazine. It's a wearable electrode/brain stimulation thing that has two settings: 'calm' or 'energy.' Looks interesting.
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I drank a lot on adderall because I liked the combo. When I quit, I could barely drink a glass of wine. It made me too tired.
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I know someone in his 20s who had weird problems with his jaw and gums receding and had to have two surgeries. He was healthy, no drugs or anything. It was just a weird, unlucky genetic abnormality. Looking for info about jaw problems online seems like a huge waste of time to me, when I could go see an actual dentist. We're not dentists.
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Go to NA or Smart recovery meetings. Get some phone numbers. There are oodles of recovering pill addicts out there. I have a friend who was a former meth addict who was great to talk to, especially for the first year off. Understood amphetamine withdrawal.
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Meditation, yoga, exercise, massages, vacations.
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Grace and Frankie - hilarious new Netflix show (it's not a chick show, my husband loved it)
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Nurse Jackie is one of my faves. I rented them when I had the dvd Netflix plan.
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Doctors have heard it all. Tell him you're addicted. Be honest.
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Addiction doesn't discriminate. Anyone can become addicted to an addictive drug given the right circumstances. Look at meth - also speed, also prescribed for adhd as Desoxyn. Lots of addicts, some who had underlying problems, some who did drugs out of boredom or peer pressure. There are many reasons people become addicted to speed. There's no studies because 1) adhd is diagnosed through questionnaires. There's no biological markers being analyzed and 2) it would be unethical to give people with no problems an addictive, mood altering drug just to see what happens.
This site is a mix of people who have add vs people who were seeking a performance enhancer. Both categories struggle to get off the drug once addicted.
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Um yeah..see my very first post on this site called "The Two Month Itch" from 2011.
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Sounds normal. Months 2-4 were the worst of withdrawal for me. Reversing a 5 year habit takes a lot of time. First year sober won't be a picnic,
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Bloodline is awesome. Couldn't stop watching it. Also, Black Mirror and Peaky Blinders are amazing British tv series.
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Can you start going to NA or meth anonymous meetings in your area? Smart Recovery is another one. You should get some in person support.
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Cold turkey. I wasn't a binger, but would have caved if I had access to the drug. Tapering prolongs the misery and requires willpower that I certainly didn't have. Having zero access to the drug ensured my success. 3 years clean.
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I was depressed for the first 18 months or so, maybe even longer. Not so much crying and emotional as general anhedonia. It goes away as you get more and more readjusted to real life. I tried to reframe it as a healing process that was necessary to emerge stronger. This relieved me of the energy drain of trying to fight it all the time. Having faith and knowing your state is temporary/evolving is key. The best method I found to deal with that early depression was/is meditation for 10-20 minutes every day.
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Yay Ashley! I was worried about you. Glad you're at 3 years! We quit only 4 months apart. I agree that improvement between 2 and 3 years is huge!
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For me, days 30-120 were the worst of the withdrawal..so, sounds pretty normal. Consider the first six months "very early recovery." Lower your expectations drastically.Day 47 confirmed.....
Every day has been worse than the one before it seems. I finally broke down yesterday and asked for a refill and was denied. I feel sick to my stomach with humiliation.
Psychologically I feel not that much different than during a crash. I guess what's what I wanted so badly... and now I got it.
Update: Literally going through my crash ritual right now. Didn't even realize it until I had cleaned up a bunch of garbage and got a load of laundry started. (This is always how I would try to make myself feel better while I hated myself for relapsing). I feel so crappy right now, but at least I don't have an impending 3 day recovery period awaiting me tomorrow. Maybe this is what true recovery is supposed to feel like.....
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Addiction: the belief that you need a chemical substance to compensate for a personal weakness or lack of skill.
This is your addiction talking. Push past it. Give it a few weeks and you'll probably feel fine again and silly at the same time because a few weeks ago you thought it was the end of the world.
For what it's worth, at 3 years I am doing much better than 2 years. MUCH better. I am finally living a life free of fear and suspicion. Hell no you do not want to go through this shit all over again. Your 'alternative theory' is addict thinking, plain and simple. It boils down to the fantasy 'It will be different this time.' Recognize this. Reread all of your posts, in chronological order. You went to rehab for God's sake.
If you're exhausted from trying, stop trying for awhile. Live your life without self improvement as a goal. Or just focus on doing one thing, like making a short to do list every morning. Maybe you can elaborate on what you mean by "can't keep my life organized" and we can offer more suggestions
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21 months sober after 7 years of high dosage adderall
in Tell your story
Posted
Hey,
I have the neck and shoulder tension as well. I had it before Adderall, but Adderall definitely exacerbated it. I've tried a lot of things to get rid of it, and what has helped me the most (by far), is to actively pull my shoulder blades back, down and together whenever I'm standing or walking. Pull them back, then down, then sort of towards each other to the point where it feels strange and unnatural (but doesn't hurt or anything), and just hold like that as long as you can. I do this whenever I remember. When I make it a habit, it greatly reduces the knots and tension.
I have a neck traction device I use sometimes if I want a good neck stretch. It works well for temporary relief. It's this one (I bought it secondhand for $75) http://www.sourceortho.net/saunders-cervical-traction-device?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cse&utm_term=293&gclid=CJntmqi9msYCFcdhfgodZF0CLg
I got a new mattress a few months ago, and that's helped too. Try sleeping on your back with a cervical pillow or rolled-up towel under your neck (I'm a chronic stomach sleeper but I try to at least fall asleep on my back).
Yoga and massages help too, but these are all temporary relief. Actively pulling my shoulders back and down throughout the day helps the most.