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Cassie

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Posts posted by Cassie

  2. Great addiction website

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    http://www.addictscience.com/

     

     

    I stumbled upon this website that has great articles about addiction and the addict experience, probably the best I've ever come across (written by a former addict). The writer explains addicts and addict behavior very simply and eloquently. For example, the difference between an addict and casual user is that an addict uses drugs for medicine, while a casual user uses drugs for fun. So true. Another line I really liked: One of the hallmarks of addiction is "continuous failure at internal deal-making." from this article: http://www.addictscience.com/relying-on-willpower/ 

    • Like 2

  3. Attempt 3 at quitting. I think I'm hitting the wall.

    in Tell your story

    Posted

    This is normal. For me, the first month wasn't that bad. Months 2-4 were the worst in terms of depression and 'hitting the wall'. Understand that recovery is a long slow process that you don't have much control over. Realize that 30 days is a very short time to be off of any drug. In fact, expect the whole first year sober to be pretty depressing and don't try frustratingly to change it. You'll feel normal again in time. Best advice I have is to distract yourself as much as possible (with tv, weekend trips or any entertainment) so that the days go faster and you accumulate more clean time. And, cultivate patience.

    • Like 4

  4. Farewell My Dear Friend Addy...

    in Tell your story

    Posted

    I wish you the best of luck with quitting. The first four months were the worst for me, then it started gradually getting a little easier. If your husband is going to continue taking it so he can work, can't he keep the pills at work? That way they won't be in your house. And if it gets over adderall in a day or two, why does he need it to work? If he's telling you to 'cowboy up', why can't he? Call him out on this bullshit.

    • Like 2
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    Calling the Dr & shutting off your supply...

    in Tell your story

    Posted

    Sounds like you need to make the decision to never go to that doctor again if you want to quit. I told my doctor I was addicted to adderall and I was quitting and she still offered it to me (even suggested that I was 'dependent' not 'addicted', I shit you not). I think some doctors just don't want to believe they could be the cause of someone's addiction and they don't want to lose a consistent patient/cash flow, so in that case it's up to the patient to cut the cord. You can't trust the medical community to help you quit a pill they put on a pedestal.

    • Like 5

  6. Looking for a mentor or advice - helping my GF reduce her dose

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    This is just my experience but what planted the seed in my mind to quit was a respected friend asking me the following questions (on several occassions):

    - Do you still take adderall?

    - What does it do for you?

    - Why do you feel you need it?

    - Are you on it right now? (Whether I said yes or no she nodded and said, "I can tell")

    My fiance's comments never helped because he was too close to the situation - his comments were too situation specific and I always got defensive. My friend's questions/comments were neutral and invited self reflection.

    • Like 3

  8. Quitting for the wrong reasons? Co-dependent Adderalic newly dating a sober guy... Help?

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Logically I know I should quit

    You have to wait until emotionally you know you should quit. We don't make life decisions based on logic alone. We aren't rational creatures. This is a decision of the heart - you must know in your heart you should quit if you are to succeed. Unfortunately, that's not a feeling you can manufacture.

    Everyone is welcome here for support.

    • Like 2

  9. My Spark Is Gone

    in Tell your story

    Posted

    Sounds like you're doing good for 18 months. 5 years is a long time to use speed and it's a slow process to rehabituate yourself to reality. I felt much better after 2.5 years sober compared to 1.5 years. You're also not 20 years old so be patient with your brain/body and it will reward you in time.

    • Like 3

  10. Psychiatrists are really impossible.

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Yeah, sounds like a real moron.

    What is your diet like? I always thought i ate healthy but a few weeks ago i started eating a TON more fruits and vegetables (like 9-10 servings a day) and I have so much more energy. I eat oatmeal with fruit and nuts for breakfast, fruit and a hardboiled egg for a snack, a giant kale salad for lunch, more veggies as a snack, and leftovers for dinner. I cut out all the bread and flour tortillas I used to eat and mostly stick to oatmeal, barley, brown rice and corn tortillas for my grains.

    • Like 1

  12. Psychiatrists are really impossible.

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    You should read The Last Psychiatrist blog. He talks about how the drs are just guessing (it's not like they're measuring your brain chemical levels) and he talks about how he can guess a patient's psychiatrist at his hospital by the medication they prescribe. They all have their favorites. Guess you got the Depakote guy.

    A psychiatrist's job is to prescribe drugs. You don't have to take them. At 19 months I was still feeling the residual effects of my adderall use. It went away.

    And your brain regenerates neurons all the time. It's called neurogenesis. You're not born with all the neurons you'll ever have.

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    Tonight I made the decision to quit Adderall once and for all

    in Tell your story

    Posted

    You need more of a plan to quit. Whenever I tried to quit by flushing pills or ripping up prescriptions in a dramatic fashion, I always relapsed. I planned my final quit for months. I chose to quit on a Thursday in December. I went out of town that Fri-Sun, worked Mon-Wed, and then had 10 days off (used vacation days around xmas and new years). When I got back to work, work was slow for the next couple weeks because it was still winter break (worked at a school). In addition to December being a slow work month, it's also the best weather in Phoenix, so I knew I would be able to hike and walk outside for exercise for a good 5 months until it got hot. I also told my doctor 6 months in advance that she should begin prescribing me less and less dosages because I was stopping for good in December.

    Your instinct may be to do something drastic but a well thought out plan is what will lead to long term success.

    You also need to accept that recovery is a long, slow process and that you are going to feel tired, depressed, unmotivated, and bored for many months, if not longer.

    • Like 6

  15. 12 Miles a Week Runners Club - NEW

    in Lounge (off-topic stuff)

    Posted

    My Mon-Fri. diet lately has been:

    Breakfast: oatmeal or cereal with sliced almonds and banana

    Snack: fruit

    Lunch: big kale salad with veggies and edamame/hardboiled egg/sardines/some other proteins

    Snack: carrot sticks

    Dinner: whatever I want (usually leftovers from stuff i cooked over the weekend.)

    I feel great during the day and it makes me excited for dinner!

    • Like 2

  17. Happy 4th

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    That was an interesting article. I can't comment on the parenting aspect but I think the differences of a medical approach to ADD is very interesting. The American approach to just about every medical problem is to throw drugs at it. Side effects? here's another drug for that. And any old doctor can prescribe every drug imaginable.

    I'm sure we have website members from all over the world - after all, this IS the Internet, right? But why is it that nearly ALL of the regular contributors on this web site are American? Is Adderall addiction a mostly American problem? or, is helping one's self kick their addiction by using a web site a uniquely American way of dealing with this addiction?

    ZK, do you see a lot of speed use in Canada?

    Amphetamines are illegal in most countries. I think the US, Canada, Australia, and maybe a few European countries are the only places they are allowed for a medical purpose. Aside from the US the other countries probably are picky about prescribing them. America has 5% of the world's population but consumes 80% of the world's illegal drugs. For adderall the percentage has got to be even higher.
    • Like 2

  18. Anyone ever heard of depersonalization??

    in Tell your story

    Posted

    Thanks for the heads up, but I think that if you've been struggling to quit Adderall and move on, it's because IT IS DIFFICULT TO QUIT ADDERALL.  Period.  It's a powerful amphetamine that many of us have taken over long periods of time, which affects (or affected) our physiologies and behaviors.  Difficulty quitting isn't a sign of anything other than that it is difficult to quit.  I'm sick of people getting glued to WebMD looking for "answers" for what's wrong with their lives / situation - when really the true answer is that your life just sucks right now (thank you to Mike for linking to this article).

     

    Agree with the first part but changing your life isn't going to lead to any sort of deep happiness, nor is it practical advice for an early quitter. Happiness comes from having a positive attitude/optimism and resilience to hardship/tragedy. Happiness doesn't have much to do with what happens to you. It's all relative to who you are perceiving as 'happier' and 'successful' than you. There are millions of happy people who are poor, have shitty jobs and have gone through horrible tragedies...yet they are still happy. You don't have anywhere near that level of resilience  and insight in the beginning of quitting adderall - at least I didn't. I was frail and fragile, and slapping a superficial label on my shitty feelings was a good coping mechanism because it was an answer simple enough for my mushy brain to understand in the first stages of quitting. You gotta keep it real simple in early sobriety. Feel shitty -> depression/brain changes  -> patience. 

    • Like 4

  22. 12 Miles a Week Runners Club - NEW

    in Lounge (off-topic stuff)

    Posted

    Cassie and InRecovery,

    InRecovery- My body's like what the fuck, you lazy ass?! I'm sorry for the language, but I think that's what it's saying :) I'm 5'3, so 8 pounds is significant!

    Cassie- I'm 29, and I have to think that it has a lot to do with age too. I was just saying that the other day. I'm very saddened by this :( So Cassie, you're saying if I exercise I STILL can't eat what I want without being fat?!

    Correct, you can't outrun a bad diet, and when you get older you have to eat less to maintain your same weight. Your metabolism slows. But my appetite has declined accordingly so I'm not gaining weight. When i was a teenager and in my early 20s I ate a crazy amount of food every day and was hungrier way more often.

  23. 12 Miles a Week Runners Club - NEW

    in Lounge (off-topic stuff)

    Posted

    Occasional,

    You did an awesome job. You should be happy with that!

    I did..zero miles. I went to the doctor a couple of days ago, and I've gained 8 pounds since December. I had a freak out, because I've never had to worry about my weight. I guess the time has come where I can't eat whatever I want and not be running, or at least doing something physically active. I've been slacking waaaay too much lately.....and there is my rant....have a good week, everybody :)

    Yep, once I hit 30 I couldn't eat like I was in my 20s anymore, regardless of whether I was working out or not..
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