catw66

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About catw66

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  1. From 5 mg to 2.5 mg

    I raelized over the last few days, that all my decreases to nothing are catching up with me at times. Dizziness, irritablity, inability to think straight, low energy. It comes and goes. I know from experience, that this is going to take a while before I feel evened out again.
  2. forgetting words, losing thoughts

    Yes!! I consider this part of the dopamine/attention span regulation problem we are now trying to heal. I have left my keys and my purse places. Have a hard time tracking conversations, finding the right things to say at times - zoning out and such. I find that when my brain feels fogged and a little anxious at the same time, it is hard to be present and follow conversaions, so that by the time I respond, my brain has already done too much work. I feel like sometimes I say something and it comes off strange to me - as if I didn't just say it.
  3. Symptoms

    The only thing I can say about that is that my bipolar disorder has been a bit out of control lately and I've had a lot of anxiety, so somehow I had the energy anyway. I moved somewhere where there is very strong sunlight at high altitude and being that my brain is very light sensitive, this is part of that. Now it is cloudy for the third day in a row and I feel a lot calmer, but I could not take too cloudy, as I get totally depressed and can't function, so that is why I ended up back on Adderall when I lived in Western NC. Kind of waiting for my brain to level out on a few levels!
  4. Symptoms

    Still staying off the stuff. Sometimes I think it has not been so bad, but then I realize I just don't really feel right in the head in one way or another. Having horrendous anxiety at times Still havig hard time sleeping. Feel wound up at times and other times spaced out. One of the biggest symptoms by now is feeling a bit disoriented, which I read can be common. I am becoming very forgetful. But when I think back, this is how I was for a at least a month after I quit before. I realize this is going to take some more time probably because of the fact that I went back and spent about 7-8 months on prescribed Adderall. But I am proud of myself because somehow I managed to drive four hours to Denver, attend a party that lasted all night, and then drove home - without Adderall. It was amazing.
  5. posting when sad

    I am trying to be upbeat and positive as possible when I am having a bad day - at least on the outside. Some days I can't really get myself going unless I have to for work stuff. Otherwise, I feel overwhelmed and alone a lot. Either anxious or down. But, I love the idea of just doing tiny things. I have some debt I need to tackle before it gets more expensive and I'm just finding practical matters sort of elusive lately. But I do what I can and do a little very day past what I think I can stand and I see things slowly shaping up around me. All we can do.... Hang in there!
  6. Symptoms

    Weaned slowly down to 2.5 and quit last weekend I think. Symptoms through all this and somewhat magnified lately: Insomnia anxiety loss of appetite not being able to concentrate on much can't get started sometimes depressed and tired - staring and not wanting to get up from sitting position. other days feel like I am bouncing off the walls. Irritability Obsessive worry type thoughts.
  7. 4 months clean

    Hi - I finally moved back to southern Colorado where I can get more sun. But I am still having some ups and downs and not sleeping well and feeling anxious. My plan for depression is more getting more regular with my yoga, supplements, continuing various forms inner work, and of course, I have a light box if I need it. My mistake was moving somewhere a lot cloudier that I thought I could handle but could not, hence the Adderall relapse. I am planning on keeping my life relaively low stress for the next few months. My brain now has to heal completely not only form the Adderall, but also the Wellbutrin and Lamictal that I quit as well months ago. And I am still recovering from a months-long episode of depression and a lot of stress - moving, narcissistic mother bullying that I finally stood up to and am experiencing the fall-out, having a guy 20 years younger than me interested in me and just not wanting to deal with that, etc. It's been a weird time quitting adderall and having all these situations to deal with, but that's life. But things will get better. Thanks! Glad you are ok!!
  8. From 5 mg to 2.5 mg

    I realize the time before this that I gave up Adderall, I did it a lot faster so experienced more intense discomfort, but it was till difficult to do a slow taper in terms of depression and fatigue, just not as all at once dramatic.
  9. From 5 mg to 2.5 mg

    I already feel better not having that 2.5 in my system either. Depression and clarity of mind is already more on the upswing. F Adderall!
  10. From 5 mg to 2.5 mg

    Day two yesterday of nothing at all and it has not been so bad. I moved to a place where I have a lot of energy that gets activitated every time I am here it seems - which has been twice. There is a lot of mountain energy and strong sunlight here so this is helping with my withdrawal. I was actually having anxiety and I notice my ADD symptoms have gotten progressively worse as I have cut down, but that's okay. I am noticing some real mood swings, though, and have been through my tapering process. I will feel kind of anxious and revved up even and hours later just really down and emotional. Some of this is my bipolar II stuff and old emotional stuff I am working to integrate through a book called The Presence Process, but I am sure a lot of it brain related. Just going with it.
  11. 4 months clean

    Yes, four months really is not a lot of time. I really don't remember how long it took for me to feel better after Adderall. I was prescribed it for depression and after three years on it, I was ready for ECT many times. Finally a doctor told me to get off all my medication and see how I felt. I felt better getting off Adderall and then I started to conquer Cymbalta. Then I moved to a place that didnt have enough sunlight and I suffer from terrible SAD (seasonal affective disorder) Since I cannot take most antidepressants at any therapeutic dose due to Bipolar disorder, I got desperate and got a script for Adderall and a small dose Wellbutrin again (which became intolerable after a while), which helped for a while, but it turned on me and I had a hard time letting it go. It helped me get through part of the winter, otherwise I would have ended up in the hospital. Now I have worked on getting off my small dose of Wellbturin and Lamictal and the Adderall is the last to go. I've gone slowly at it. Today is my day to let it go completely from 2.5 mgs. I remember I quit Adderall in late June two summers ago, then Cymbalta and I really started feeling pretty good by February. So yes, it takes a while. But I definitely felt better without Adderall - at least better than I was while on it and fairly quickly after the sucky part got done with. I went kind of fast with it last time and it was traumatic on some level. But we can definitely deal with Protracted withdrawal syndromes and those just take a while. Be patient and kind to yourself.
  12. 4 months clean

    Have you tried L-Tyrosine. I believe that is a help. I remember when I didn't take it, I felt worse. I feel a bit better if i take it. It helps your dopamine production. I also take Rhodiola which I think helps and B-vitamins.
  13. From 5 mg to 2.5 mg

    Yep, this is what I am feeling in danger of. I start telling myself, "Why not just take 5 mg if you feel that bad today?" I don't give in, but the thought is there.
  14. From 5 mg to 2.5 mg

    I am extremely sensitive to small decreases and was following the tapering guide on this site. I think I remember last time I did this, I was counting down beads from the capsule form. And when they ran out, I really felt it even though it was from a very small amount. I think this week I am ready to just quit now. Might as well get it over with. Some days I feel okay and then other days I just feel really down like I am still on a high dose of the stuff when it turned on me. I suppose this might intensify for a while and then get better. How long did it take you to feel better once you quit completely? I am taking L-Tyrosine, B-Vitamins, Rhodiola, and Niacin (the flushing kind) a lot more this past week. I think energy drinks might be my friend for a while. Coffee doesn't do that much for me, but yeah, maybe not the time to cut down on that either as I was trying to do as well. But eventually, I want to give my body a complete break from all stimulants and see how I feel. Thanks for the advice!
  15. I generally really respect my brain and the changes and adjustments it has to go through when taking away a strong substance such as Adderall. I started taping a few months ago, I think. I was at around 20-30 mg and now down to 2.5. Even small decreases hit me and I believe we may be reacting to prior decreases a few steps back, which is why I take it slow. this site has a good article on Tapering. I sort of follow that. I take L-Tyrosine and use an Alpha-Stim machine. I had forgotten to use it, was having a terrible time with brain fog and depression yesterday, used it, and felt much better. I plan to stay at 2.5 for two weeks and then cut that even in half and then go to nothing.