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Day 12 - done

Day 9 and 10 check

WAY TO GO Z!!!!! I am like Amy I was also smiling while reading your post!! It was EXTREMELY inspiring!!!! And actually gave me a HUGE boost of encouragement and hope!!!!! Thank you for all of your contributions you make on this forum. YOU TOTALLY ROCK!!!!

Thanks for sharing!!!

Day 8 - done

GDTRFB (Jen RX) Haha jk I might end up calling you Jen RX now that you mentioned it because with my brain fog- that's the easiest for me to remember. Sorry you are sick....hope you feel better soon.

Day 7-check

Jen RX - I LOVED YOUR POST!!!!! It was very inspiring!!! I could related had had such strong connections to many of the things you mentioned!!! Again I SO LOVED YOUR POST!!! It really is making me smile at this moment! And giving me hope... Because I still deal with periods of time feeling like I am HOPELESS & HELPLESS when it comes to adderall! Thanks for giving me strength to help fight this addiction!!!! ((((Hugs))))

Z- would love to know how "boot camp" went for you.

Justin you without a doubt deserve a "down day" to do whatever you want to do. And if lounging in bed is what you spend most of your day doing because that's what you wanted/NEEDED to do. It would not be selfish at all. It fact it would be GREAT!!! Maybe it's your mind telling you something. Burnout would not be good for you considering all the things you have going on. I hope you are able to find a "down day" really soon... heck even a few hours for "justin time" would be wonderful! You deserve it!!!! One of my favorite quotes is this one by john Lennon. "Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted." - John Lennon

Hey guys this month would have been a year since I quit using adderall. But with one minor set back last month and then earlier this month.... I hate to admit it but I used more than a few. I have now been off of adderall for 5 days. Physically and mentally I am feeling surprisingly well. Of course once I crashed for a couple of days to catch up with the sleep I had lost. I am feeling very optimistic right now. I think I am in a better place mentally than I have been in a very long time. I had a long and honest talk with my 19 year old son last night. He has been away at college for the most part since I quit adderall and hasn't seen how it has effected my day to day activities. Until recently when he came home for the summer. He said he can see a dramatic difference in my personality and has actually been hearing me laugh out loud. Which he said he hasn't heard me laugh in quite some time. He encouraged me to let someone come in and clean our house and he said that he would talk to my other son, who is 18 years old and they would made an conscious effort to help with stuff around the house. He also said while he is home this summer he wants to me to go outside and get active doing something instead of sitting around inside all day feeling sorry for myself. Soooo I guess I will start the 30 day challenge. And with the help and encouragement from all of you and my family. I really think I can do this!!!

Freedom's Wing- HIP HIP HOORAY for you!!!

Way to go FW!!!!

WOW that's AWESOME AMY!!! I know you are proud of yourself! Must feel very empowering! HIP HIP HOORAY for you!!!

Hey mike- welcome to the forum. Sounds like you have a bundle of joy to help motivated you on this new journey. I have found this site tremulously helpful. I am sure you will find it benificial as well.

Amy- Agreed - "Yah for you!" Glad you had a good day!!!

Mary Tea Loved your poem! Thank you for sharing

I have not seen nor had I even heard of this film before someone posted on facebook. I thought it was very interesting and plan on watching sometime, but I wanted to share. Here is a link to the trailer. . The name of the film is Anonymous People.

Freedom's Wing- you will be in my thoughts and prayers! I believe you can do it!!! Even making admitting that you relapsed plus making arrangements to go into inpatient treatment. I believe shows your strength and your commitment!!! So go CLAIM YOUR VICTORY!!! Knowing you have everyone here cheering you on!!!!!

Thanks for posting your story!!! I am sure your story will help inspire many to quit adderall and reclaim their life back! THANKS AGAIN FOR SHARING!!!!

Thanks guys for all of your messages of support. I didn't even log on yesterday I think I felt bad and felt weak for using. And then admitting it - idk. But I had to mention and tell you guys because if I can't say it and get support on here then I would really be in TROUBLE! A couple of you guys ask if I had any more stashes if adderall. Well I couldn't say for sure - I have looked of course in all my USUAL hiding places and I can't find any. But that doesn't mean I don't have any a few hear and there put away in the strangest places. I was always putting some away and then totally forgetting about them. I have found on different occasions and was able to call my husband while he was at work and tell him so I wouldn't even be tempted because he already would know etc. But I don't know maybe I wonder if was because it was in the early months after quitting and I was ok with being tired and expected it to be a part of me recovering. But almost a year out and I still feel just as tired and to have them in my hand and no one knew about them.... I don't know and I am comfortable saying that I am NOT going to seek out adderall but I honestly don't know what I would do if I came across a few again tomorrow. Tomorrow would be to soon I think. I know deep there will NEVER be again another time or another day in my lifetime that would be ok for me to take adderall. But a lot easier said then done. Thanks again for letting me vent and for offering your support and advice.

Well I was unpacking a box of spring clothes and apparently I had stashed some there. I have been so tired for so long and I don't know there were right there in my hand, so I took them over the next few days. And after not taking any for 11 months... to be honest, I just felt like what I imagine 'normal' people feel like EVERYDAY. I wasn't tweaked out like I use to be when I would take so many. I could actually get out of bed or off the couch and function, which has been a struggle for me since I quit may of 2013. Of course I was nervous that I would start thinking how to get more etc but I didn't waste my time going down that road and just tried to stay in the moment. I didn't feel so hopeless for a few days. But a part of me deep down knew that I would not be strong enough to ever keep it at that level. But again I didn't dwell on it then. But now that I can reflect back on what I did. I know I would never be able to take adderall at the level I needed to and it probably wouldn't take long before I start to increase dose gradually and well I know where that cause me to end up before. So now I am back on the couch not more depressed or tired or I don't know maybe I am actually. Having a glimpse of what "living" a "normal" life NOT DEPRESSED nor "TWEAKED" out could be like. of course I had stopped taking my Wellbutrin and lexapro about 2 weeks ago I thought it could be what was making me tired. But I don't know because now I am super depressed. What do you guys think? You know I value and take you advice and opinion when it comes to this matter and I am desperately seeking advice/help. Thanks!

I was so close to a year off adderall... and well back to square one.

HANG IN THERE!!! if I can do if I KNOW you are anyone else can!!! seriously....

I took adderall for about 15 years and i quit at the end of May 2013. It does seem like there are days were I have more energy I guess than others. Maybe this is just one of those periods where I am experience a real loss of what little energy I did have and I guess that makes me depressed and the cycle continues. I have to continue to remain myself my adderall is NOT the simple answer to solve my problem and that now i could handle it. It is very tempting I admit to sometimes thiink that's the answer. But I have a list of all the reasons I quit and the pain it caused me and my family while on adderall to remind me NO THAT's NOT an option for me. thanks guys for taking the time to reply to my question. I might not post everyday. But I am on here everyday reading your comments and learning from your advice you give. Thanks.