Frank B

  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by Frank B

  1. Too long!

    I had a buddy got in a motorcycle wreck deer ran out in front of him he was cruising about 60 mph. He was a complete mess bad road rash a broken rib or two etc. He was never addicted to pain pills but has a lot of close friends fell victims to them. Anyways at the hospital he refused morphine and any pain medication stronger than Advil. He simply did not want to risk becoming what his friends became. He is also one tough sob to me that’s some inspiration. Hopefully if I was ever faced with a similar situation I could be that strong to say no. I know saying yes where that will prob take me. Suggest anyone on here to do the same if possible avoid taking pain pills at all cost. To me pain pills were what give me that lost euphoria feeling in my last couple years taking adderall. It’s very similar and does give a boost of energy also. I recall finally realizing I had one fucked up problem got a couple bottles of liquid codeine from somewhere, taste was aweful but I loved it. I was working in my shop on some big project was drinking Red Bull & vodka drinks , popping adderall downing them with shots of codeine every couple hours for like 48 hrs straight. I’m really amazed I never overdosed pretty sure if I took all that now I’d die. I’m also surprised I never chopped my hand off working with power saws etc with no sleep and hopped up on all that. But doing all that finally realized holy shit wtf have a become? Knew from that point I was either going to quit addy and pain meds or I would die.
  2. acetylcholine trial and error

    If I blacked out behind the wheel from binging on addy for days could have killed someone and actually been in prison. I’d rather take this penalty and should consider myself lucky. Yes it fucking sucks at times but could always be worse.
  3. acetylcholine trial and error

    Bendryl knocks me out. Do your research find out the trick we need you’ll be a hero! I’ve pretty much given up thinking supplements and diet will ever be the answer. Every time I find something I think is working the placebo effect wears off and back to the drawling board. Guess really only time alone heals it’s like a 2-4 yr mental prison sentence we all must pay for the years of abuse we did to ourselves.
  4. Take Your Pills

    Fuck that those college students 5-10 yrs from now will be on here crying they want to stop.
  5. Second attempt at quitting failed

    If your going to continue to take Id at least recommend trying to decrease your amount each day to get the process started. Calculate each day for two months to get to Omg the final day. Cut up your pills put them in a day to day pill dispenser you can buy them cheap at drug store. The extra pills toss down the toilet it’s a bold move but really test who is control your brain or the pills. This is how I successfully quit after failing at cold turkey method for 30days. I know most do not recommend this route think it all depends your situation and how much self control you have. But feel u just say two more months will turn into another two months if no real game plan is in place. Don’t wait to get help start now NA meetings are free start going ASAP. Good luck whichever route you choose.
  6. Take Your Pills

    I’ll take your word not watching it. Bet if u do research youll see which pharmaceutical company funded it lol.
  7. PAWS or something else wrong?

    Just me but on most cloudy days are you usually worthless? Wonder if quitting makes us extra sensitive to needing vitamin D from the sun. I take Vitimin D supplement but don’t think it does a damn thing.
  8. Advice for quitting a third time

    It’s not 100% mental should retract that statement possibly after stopping opioids first the physical side seemed easier to deal with far as being physically uncomfortable. I wish had a answer on how to return to a 9-5 job and be productive right from the get go. I’m sure plenty of people have gone back to work in a office settimg successfully and sometimes I ponder if having someone over my shoulder holding me accountable would have been more beneficial. You must switch your thinking of how can I do my job without it? That’s not a option anymore like all of us the drug just stopped working. It will never return to being beneficial. The only thing that keeps me going back is the number of people who quit for months even years then go back on it only to return saying what a mistake. Yet to see one person back on here say how going back solved all their problems. It’s a very frightening reality but always could be worse people lose legs, arms, eyesight etc and make it in life. We just lose a superhuman drug that gave us unlimited motivation and energy. We can go on to be successful but must allow ourselves to be subpar for a very good amount of time.
  9. Advice for quitting a third time

    I love playing Tron such a game ahead of its time beautiful masterpiece.
  10. Advice for quitting a third time

    Catherine, last time you quit for 3 days were you going to work? You keep asking about getting over withdraw symptoms. For me I had physical withdraw quitting opioids muscle twitching, could not sleep, sweating rapid heart beating. Addy had really no physical withdraw long as I could lay in my bed watch Netflix I was fine. The withdraw symptoms comes after you get a month off to chill then must return to real life being a productive person to make a living and not end up homeless. It’s all mental but it’s by far not fake it’s real as fuck we really screwed our brain chemistry up and takes a lot of time and effort to recover.
  11. New Adderall documentary

    It’s mind control keep drugs like pot illegal a drug that expands the mind and free thinking. But have speed a drug that keeps us all busy working bees and care less about the bigger picture legal. FYI I don’t smoke pot puts me to sleep but no logical reason it’s illegal anywhere. It’s so fucking ridiculous give a 6yr old speed having trouble in school “focusing” but can not give a 6yr old pot battling cancer in chemo to help him feel better and have a appetite, no give that child opioids and if he recovers amphetamines to catch up in school. Society is fucking so messed up.
  12. Advice for quitting a third time

    I’m not trying to be rude or judgmental but your getting a few weeks off work, your heart is in danger why is visiting friends more important than jumping on stopping this drug right now? Wouldn’t they understand and possibly be much happier seeing the real you down the road off this drug? Sorry just know you said on the trip you will be taking adderall. My opinion if you can afford inpatient out of pocket somehow do it and go cold turkey. Actually think you’d be forced to but not sure. Heard new gov grants allow free rehab to combat the opioid crisis not sure how legit that info is but might do some research on it. If not then you may try tapering down and do outpatient but it will take you much longer. Until it’s day 1 of 0mg of adderall you really have not started your brains recovery so keep that in mind.
  13. Advice for quitting a third time

    This may be all overwhelming the truth about the battle ahead. Here is a post from a guy I started to follow on Facebook that may give you motavtion on this journey. ”Be willing to go to war with yourself! We don't know what we can't do until someone tells us. Most of us are willing to do anything to pursue our dreams then people tell us how dangerous or stupid our dreams are. They tell us about the downside. They tell us about our limitations and how the others before us didn't make it. They give us other options instead of what we want to do. They talk us out of our dreams. This is one reason I invented the fucking cookie jar! You must create a system that constantly reminds you who the fuck you are! You are only capable of living up to the image you create in your mind. Life is not going to pick you up when you fall. There will be forks in the road, knives in the fucking back, mountains to climb, etc. Prepare yourself! We know life can be hard and yet we feel sorry for ourselves when life isn't fair! You will be made fun of! You will feel insecure! You may not be the best! You may be the only black, white, female, male, gay, lesbian or whatever! Get over it! There will be times where you feel alone! Our minds are fucking strong, we have just stopped using them! We have access to so many more resources today and yet do less than those who came before us! No one gives you wisdom. You get that shit as you struggle on your journey. It's ok to be afraid but it's not ok to be a coward. When I was in SEAL training the Pacific Ocean was always cold. When my mind realized I wasn't going to quit, the water warmed. The water never really warmed I just no longer gave a fuck.” - David Goggins
  14. Advice for quitting a third time

    I did a outpatient rehab program I had no insurance coverage so paid out of pocket. You can call your insurance company find out if your covered. Of course if not u can do outpatient a lot cheaper but if I could have gone inpatient would have for sure. Why Id suggest a inpatient if your insurance covers is so you can take that time off work honestly u at least need a month of not worrying about the morning alarm deadlines etc u must focus completely on getting yourself healed. Here is a link I found regards to being fired. Yes it will probably be a struggle months after stopping not going to lie but possibly going to a actual inpatient rehab you may gain tools many of us never learned. If I was to go inpatient I’d do research see which one would have professionals who could help with this specific problem. What I hate is most often they see us no different than a person hooked on blow and opioids. Although many things I learned in rehab did apply but it’s different I’m completely over pain pills yet still after this long I still think about adderall question how much better could I do things with it. But it’s a lie it simply stopped working and I can’t beleive at 11yrs your still getting much benefits far is work performance and concentration. For me at the end I became a complete scattered brained unfocused irrational mad man and only cared about taking more adderall. You never know you could tell your employer and they say something like “We’ve noticed something wrong this might be the best thing for you.” So often on this drug we think everyone looks at us in awe but reality is they might be thinking “Wtf is wrong with this person?” Heck if you do all this go back to work realize you still can’t stop and rather risk a heart attack at least you really gave it a try.
  15. New Adderall documentary

    Yeah I’ll wait to see the response on here. I highly doubt they will really show the true dark side. Seeing that football player pissed me off a 100% ban like steroids should be in place for all high school, college and professional sports. It’s funny see so many die hard sports fans say if a favorite athlete gets busted taking steroids they are a no good piece of shit cheater. I’m like dude you know a large percentage take amphetamines for focus and unlimited energy with a doctors note? How many athletes will see this documentary and sprint to a doctor to get this medication because by far athletes could care less about long term consequences.
  16. New Adderall documentary

    Did you watch it? Be honest sort of scared to the promo alone brought up thoughts my addicted brain told me for years on why I should keep taking it.
  17. Advice for quitting a third time

    Unfortunately recovery takes months even years not weeks. If I did not own a small buisness where I could make my own schedule honestly don’t know how I could have done it. Here is the deal if you were taking cocaine everyday to get by would you consider going into a in patient rehab to save your life? Well truth is adderall is more powerful narcotic and overtime it will kill you the human body was not meant to consume amphetamines daily. I think your only hope come clean with your employer tell them you need possibly a month or two of inpatient rehab to kick a very dangerous prescribed drug that will kill you if you don’t stop. If not guess you could keep doing it and have a stoke at work. I know during the height of my 9 yr use I wanted to die vs take on trying to quit this drug. I’ve been clean now 2yrs 4 months was also taking a lot of pain pills quit them both. It hasn’t been easy but can be done good luck to you.
  18. Netflix documentary on Adderall

    From the promo looks like a fucking adderall funded documentary.
  19. R-R-R-R-R-RELAPSE (one night only)

    Yes it seems at two years I had and others a huge final push to really want it again. After a couple months past it has progressively gotten better but yes watch that two year mark. I think we feel a little let down things should be a lot better. It will get better but not magically at two year point for most.
  20. R-R-R-R-R-RELAPSE (one night only)

    The first time I quit addy I kept a stash around. My honest thinking was it’s a dooms day kit. If a nuclear war broke out or zombies I could use those pills to be superhuman and save my family lol. I stashed them in a hard to reach spot in the ceiling rafters knowing the only time I’d go through the trouble to get them was a real emergency. After a month of stopping I climbed up got a broom and fought to get them out. No nuclear war and no zombies just gave in had to do laundry or something. I think the lesson here is never have any emergency stash. Duffman know this was a bump in the road but stay close to this site it helps. If you would have given your thoughts leading up to this event chances are someone would have given you some good advice that may have persuaded you against taking it.
  21. Welcome to Hell week? Months ? Years?

    I find it amusing people with the “I must have my morning coffee memes.” Like dude that’s nothing try doing addy for several years every morning to wake up and stopping lmao. Recall most days I’d set my alarm early take a pill go back to sleep for 15 minutes then wake up wired as fuck. Those were the days if I only had video of how insane I must have acted most of the time.
  22. Congrats on seeing the light so soon yes stop cold turkey ASAP be the best choice in my opinion. Good luck !
  23. I could never pass a biology exam in college on or off adderall if it makes you feel better lol. I went to a trade school best choice I made in life. Adderall was the worst choice along with a couple of bad woman. A huge shortage of electricians, plumbers, hvac professionals is happening right now. I guess they are looked down upon but you look at what the salary is minus no huge tuition loans it’s a pretty good deal. Plus like me after a couple of years you can start your own buisness if desired. Just see so many younger people on here stressing with college and abusing the hell out of this drug to get by.
  24. If you were getting a sick note because you had party plans you’d be in the wrong. Delaying a test so you do not relapse taking adderall again is not unethical whatsoever. Also you might try Melatonin for a good nights sleep any place that sells supplements has them.
  25. Welcome to Hell week? Months ? Years?

    From my personal experience I’d toss that Xanax away. Sounds like so far your not into taking it but be aware it actually creates anxiety your brain gets use to it and without it things can get real bad. I recall one day driving and had to pull over I was freaking out about everything to scared to even drive sat in a parking lot for 2hrs. Never in my life had I had panic attacks. I didn’t even connect that I was using Xanax often to knock myself out from 48 hr binges on addy and OxyContin. But finally did research found the Xanax was causing these attacks. I was on 60mg of adderall but often took way more than that. My length of time was around 9yrs and been clean for 2yrs 3months. Things are finally turning around for the better looking at things more positive. Given your length of time and dosage guessing your recovery time will be shorter but doesn’t mean it will be easy. You go back on it now your just going to make things harder in the future. Understand at no point of your life is it ever a convenient time to stop.