Frank B

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Everything posted by Frank B

  1. depression Life ruined?

    How long have been off it?
  2. That’s great seems like a lot of people who took this have some kind of writing background not me obviously. I did accomplish fixing a dirt bike this week that’s sat for three years in my garage. Something like that in early recovery was unthinkable just had no motivation besides forcing myself to work to make money. Now if I can just finish that damn treehouse.
  3. So felt playing some full court Basketball against some high school kids tonight after my normal strength training routine would be no problem. Well I nearly puked but held my own lol. Definitely got a runners high need to play more often. Did experience the bad side of Keto, I wasn’t like so much physically tired but just nothing in the tank. Consuming close to 30 grams of carbs and doing that physical activity just doesn’t work that well. One kid guessed I was 26 yrs old just turning 39 that’s a very nice compliment.
  4. depression Life ruined?

    If that was true wouldn’t more of us who abused heavily for multiple years develop Parkinson’s disease? Researchers cannot actually test levels of dopamine in the brain they only use indirect dopamine markers and who knows how accurate those test are. So until they can and it’s proven on post adderall users I’ll choose to believe we can recover to normal. Although for me part of why I was prescribed this drug was depression so don’t think my levels were ever ‘normal’ to begin with.
  5. ugh. relapse

    I was just joking about using cocaine but for me if I fuck up I’d rather be it coke vs adderall. But not put in those situations these days in my early 20’s different story. I often wonder what exctasy would be like post adderall. But then again couldn’t imagine the crash bet it would be so awful . Just glad I’m grown up with kids now have to be responsible can’t do that crap anymore. That’s probably why I loved addy so much a drug that got u high everyday while being very productive, until it stops working and starts destroying your life.
  6. ugh. relapse

    Man if your going to self indulge with self destruction just do cocaine and buy a hooker make for a better story at least. Look at Congress that’s how they do it lol. Well I can’t say your useage is anything like mine definitely sounds like it’s more of a party drug for you vs pure work motivation for me. You maybe right it is possibly better your wired that way for binge use only hopefully you can quit again. I know if for me going back would be very hard to start over again don’t even want to think about that. It’s so hard the thought of it still calls so long after you stop I don’t think any other drug comes close and I’ve done a lot of them in my lifetime.
  7. Note to people quitting gaining a lot is fine. Take a month to enjoy food and just be lazy it’s too much pressure to quit go on a diet and hit the gym. If you can that’s great but for me took a month of being very lazy you know like a teenager eating Cheetos playing video games lol. But eventually you’ll wanna get into a healthy routine just don’t push too hard that first 30-60 days may cause you to relapse.
  8. I’m in the best shape of my life being off this stuff. Regular exercise and low carb diet does wonders.
  9. depression Life ruined?

    It’s getting to the point majority do not trust doctors. People wonder why so many don’t even trust vaccines these days. Well doctors give meth to kids, SSRI suicide pills to the depressed so what faith we have in them? Biggest problem is Big pharma owns all the media so nothing ever gets really talked about. Look mass shootings keep happening yet not one news outlet questioned if a single shooter was on a antidepressants!
  10. Ok got a app that shows my beats per minute. I avg around 85 bpm in non exercise mode. To me that seems high I’m 39 yrs old 5’9” weigh around 175. I’m sure years of adderall use probbably bumped it up wondering if anyone has successfully lowed theirs post adderall and what you did. Guessing I need to do more short sprint exercise runs something like that but not sure.
  11. Want to lower my bpm

    Yeah recall one morning taking mine in the doctors office after taking my morning dose. It was around 120 nurse asked if I sprinted into the office. But you know that’s perfectly safe give this medication to your preschool children, smh.
  12. 6 months out--hasn't been hard at all

    I’m not saying for a few it can’t be easier. But to come on here and say it’s no biggie is insulting to those of us who have had major struggles. Be like going to AA meeting and tell everyone it’s easy to stop drinking I did it’s all in your head. Everyone on here has different set of life situations and struggles. For me the hardest part was staying productive during that first year owning a buisness and being the sole provider of a household. I did it don’t know how it was very hard not to want to give in with that magic pill and be “productive”. Now coming on my 2 yr mark this month I feel great but it’s never been easy especially that first year.
  13. Want to lower my bpm

    So I got a Fitbit well a off brand $30 does the job. Anyways seems my avg bpm is 65 which is a lot better than I thought. I also like it tracks my sleep found out I’m really not getting the amount I probbably should.
  14. Biting my tongue more since quitting

    Maybe you just forgot how to eat being on addy so long lol. Jk congrats on 11 months clean especially with 12 years of use I used around 10 myself just seemed back then I’d never want to quit thought or hoped I’d just die young and not worry about actually having to stop.
  15. 6 months out--hasn't been hard at all

    Yeah well it’s not just that easy for most so dont down play it to others. Not sure of your work situation how much is riding on you to produce to support a family or your just focused on being pregnant and living healthy life but these kind of post irritate me sorry.
  16. 6 months clean

    Congrats on six months! Are you taking any antidepressants? Most cause horrible acid reflux stomach issues just FYI. But regardless drink pickle juice!!! I’m telling you it takes care of so many stomach issues. I bought a gallon off amazon pretty cheap love that stuff. You can drink it from a jar but you end up wasting your pickles lol. I just put it in a shot glass a down one or two quickly not something you want to sip on for sure.
  17. Want to lower my bpm

    Thanks for the advice I’ll look into a Fitbit. My app is only measuring when I test it so sure it’s not a great way to find my avg.
  18. ugh. relapse

    Also this time you quit change your user name you label yourself that then what other outcome you expect? Adderall picked that username for u this time you choose and choose your own destiny.
  19. ugh. relapse

    Quit again and force yourself to work out daily and get on a good diet. It can be done on addy I normally weighed about 195lbs it wasn’t that I over ate but drank pop regular redbull and ate McDonald’s, candy bars etc anything that’s fast had no time for a real meal. Now I eat more but much healthier avg around 175lbs for last year plus. Yes I still struggle with ambition at times but my work has improved I don’t work harder just smarter. Far as the hobbies I had on addy I let it go no longer can I spend 200 plus hours tediously restoring vintage pinball games going days at a time no sleep. Found out it was all a waste of time anyways cannot sell one and get a fraction of work involved doing them. But when first quitting I thought would be the end of the world giving up that hobby now I’m like fuck it who cares. You had a relapse but not the end of the world find that second wind and new determination to quit you can do this!
  20. Good article

    Big issue is very little help for recovery. Beyond this site hardly anything is available. The typical rehab for drug abuse does help but believe this addiction deserves its own source of guidance and research for successful recovery. The problem is only going to get worse with all the Millennials who were spoon fed this crap and wanting to stop now entering adulthood.
  21. Good article

    Maybe this has been shared on here already but worth another look anyways if so.
  22. Good article

    Love Breaking Bad also like the Better Call Saul spin off. I didn’t read all of it yet was pretty long I must have adhd or something lol.
  23. depression Life ruined?

    Understand u 100% it sucks that something made you feel alive, less depressed, motivated has let you down. I look at it like this addy was a jounrney in my life I was meant to take but that time has passed. I’ve learned from it and moved on. I did amazing things on that drug in my peak things I’ll probbably never do again. But looking back the amazing things accomplished I overlooked what was important. If I just slowed down thought about what I was doing just once. Instead I was on a mission to show off my talents obsess over minor details and forgot why I was even doing these things. Yes I benefit from some of those things I did but overall made bad investments many that were a complete and total waste of my time. I’m not going to lie even at 23 months when I have a big job I wish I could get that bump of energy and focus. For the first year that’s what I did just on big projects I took a pill. But at the end I needed it to get out of bed everyday and accomplished hardly anything my brain was unable to focus it created horrible ADHD. Quitting sucks but it sounds like it’s your time and a lot of people on here can help.
  24. Using Wellbutrin to help quit

    It helps some just very subtle but to be honest a good day in the sunlight does more. That’s why I quit it this summer since I spent a lot of time outside just felt it wasn’t needed.