Frank B

I think now failure is not a option I think my big issue is I've never been a big planner but I could always focus on what's important paying bills, family etc. But lately I'm so focused on staying busy on a project I can't focus on the little things that need to be done. I should just say it since this is all anonymous but my hobby turned into obsession is restoring vintage pinball and arcade games 1950-1974 I have 14 full restoration in two years. I'm talking tedious work both inside and out I joked that I'm addicted to them in reality I'm addicted to the drug which makes me forget everything else and get them up and working 100% . Most people as a hobby I'd say do 1-3 a year. Problem is I don't enjoy them once done or even take the time to try and sell them rather start on another one. In return my business has lost focused which is not restoration but when you can stay up push off work that you'd rather not do and have no boss to tell you otherwise a hobby can get out of hand especially with a drug that makes time unimportant ,sleep and eating those are just things I do because I have to once in awhile to function . I defiantly have no urge to relax and have fun in my mind why would I want to do that ? ... work is fun and rest is for the dead but I fear if I don't quit dead is what I'll be much younger age than I should.

I put it in my safe if I throw them in the toilet I would freak out. My dad quit smoking after 50 years had a cartoon of smokes hidden away that he never smoked same thing if he got rid of them he would panic and buy some then probably smoke them.

Also I thought my appetite would return I can't even hardly eat I'm just feeling depressed on one hand I look at everything I've accomplished on this drug and wonder can I still do it on the other emotions that have been void of life are hitting me like a ton of bricks . I recall the happiness of working on this pill but the last couple of months no amount could retain that feeling and everything is just dull to me I used to look forward to eating out but over the years working on projects is all the matters. I guess before the pill I had a strong drive but now I question if I did or what it was lately nothing matters I know its time to stop my family needs me emotionally and not just for paying bills or creating some grand restoration project man this is hard .

Day two of trying to quit been on heavy dose for years started when my son was diagnosed with ADHD then he was not able to take them from side effects. So I tried them just to see why, well holy crap I found a miracle pill. It made me more alert and work fast. I went to the same center and got my own prescription was very easy here u go sir 30mg 2x daily. Ok I have had my own buisness for I think two years already without going into details I do home repairs. Well now on my pill I could do my work, clean the home, take care of my child (single parent) , learn new skills built my own web site at nights, did home improvements remodeled entire home bought a foreclosed home remodeled it to flip, started a restoration hobby blah blah. I posted this all in another form on here noticed it has not a lot of views daily and now can't find it to share on this form. In short I've been a working robot machine who is emotionless and losing customers from my lack of being human yes I'm good at what I do very good but lost my ways of communications with out any sort of emotion. I have to quit I'll try and find my other post being lazy not on my super pill but hope to stay off. But have a question if your were not ADHD to start but take this for years do you actually become ADHD and while removing the drug does your long term focuses come back?