Confused84

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About Confused84

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  1. Adderall Recovery

    With Adderall recovery … After a person considers him or herself recovered is it that they have actually improved (mentally / cognitively)—or is it that they’ve simply learned to cope? I know that everyone is different and that it's probably a combination of the two but can somebody tell me where I'm headed? Any comments?
  2. Does anyone get LESS hungry off Adderall?

    Adderall messes with your dopamine and reward system ... From what you wrote it sounds like your brain is failing to give you the signal that eating will be rewarding ... I believe this goes along with anhedonia and some types of depression ... I've noticed that some people who have a mixed anxious-depressive type of depression seem to worry themselves to the point where they can't eat ... This doesn't sound like your case, however ... In time I'm sure your appetite will return ... Like you said running or some other type of aerobic exercise may have a multifaceted benefit for you ... Let me ask you do you FEEL hungry but are unable to get yourself to eat (because of a "what's the point?"-type of feeling) or is it like your appetite just feels suppressed (the way it is when you take Adderall)?
  3. I need a sense of hope ...

    Just want to update everyone and say that I'm on day 12 of being off of Adderall and am doing pretty good ... Thanks all for your comments
  4. Just a little rant.

    Was on Adderall for 15 years (at between 30 - 40 milligrams a day for severe ADHD) ... I thought quitting would literally be next to impossible ... One day I decided to refrain from taking it--just to see how I do without it ... To my astonishment it hasn't been NEARly as bad as I was expecting ... I think the hell of the anticipation of quitting is like a thousand times worse than when you actually quit ... Been off it now for about eleven days and still feel really, REALLY good and relieved about it ... Just my two cents.
  5. Happy 4th!

    I agree occasional
  6. Happy 4th!

    I agree occasional
  7. Happy 4th!

    Happy 4th to you too! I consider all of you my friends--more than friends--and hope to meet each and every one of you in person some day 😎
  8. Just stopped taking it ...

    Thanks all for the replies ... I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have this site ... Any more comments or suggestions are highly welcome ...
  9. Just stopped taking it ...

    Haven't taken the poison since early Thursday morning ... I don't have a lot going on right now but I can't believe how good I'm doing ... I almost feel fine! It doesn't really make any since ... The only thing I can think of--since I have Seasonal Bipolar Disorder (not very well known but basically this follows the same pattern as Seasonal Affective Disorder only you actually get manic in the summer time) is that I happened to quit at exactly the right time for me (past the Summer Solstice) which is affecting my mood and cognition to the point where I hardly even notice being off the med. I've been on Adderall for fifteen years (at between 30 - 40 milligrams a day--every day). Can anyone else rate to this???? I mean this is seriously like a MIRICLE that I'm doing so good ... Any thoughts?
  10. Utterly terrified - please tell me I will be ok

    Welcome to the forum! You're going to be fine! ... Your brain will be fine, too (you've only been on it for a relatively short period of time and the brain is extremely resilient). Only you can truly know if this is the right decision for you or not, but from what you wrote it sounds to me like it is ... The "I'm going crazy" feeling IS from the Amphetamine ... You're lucky because you've only been on these meds for a year and your pre-medicated self is still fresh in your mind (amphetamine can change personality) ... Also, since you were smart enough to take regular breaks from the drug that'll likely help as well ... I've been on Adderall for about 15 years and it's definitely ruined my life (like you I've been taking 40 milligrams a day--but for EVERY SINGLE DAY) ... Today I've decided to not take any to see how I do ... I'm surprised, it's early but so far so good ... I want to caution you though about being too ambitious ... It sounds like you have a lot of mentally-demanding activities and responsibilities going on right now and it may be best for you to wait until you can take a week or two off from all your obligations ... If you CAN still fulfill your obligations without the meds then I suggest you endure through everything that way. If not, don't feel bad--just wait for the next possible moment that you can take time away from your responsibilities. Pretty much anything non-essential to your life or to your survival will have to be neglected for a while ... If you're serious about quitting then that has to be your only focus in life for a time--possibly to the detriment of everything else, if necessary ... You will get better and you just have to believe in that ... Anyway I hope this has helped ... I wish I could speak from experience but everything I wrote you is from generalities that I've extracted from the countless experiences that I've read. Good luck!
  11. Extreme social anxiety

    Thanks for the comments LILTEX! I'll post more later ...
  12. I can definitely relate to this 100%!
  13. San Francisco Bay Area

    Hey MFA, Great to hear from you! I can't promise anything but I'd love to actually meet you in person some time. Again I have major, MAJOR issues with social anxiety so I just would like to give you a heads up on that if you want to meet (you probably wouldn't even notice but for me it's a HUGE deal). So when are you going to be in SF next? Do you know the area well? It's a great city, huh? I love travel. I've never been to NYC but have been wanting to check it out for a long time.
  14. -Colourordie I can totally identify with what you wrote. I too have (serious) ADHD and was prescribed Adderall for it. I don't want to downplay any of the pain I know you've suffered but I totally envy your position in many ways. You've only been on it for two years and you're still very young. I've been on it for a little over 15 years now and I can safely say that it's ruined my life up to this point ... So please, do whatever you have to do to get off it now and stay off it. (I know, easier said than done but I know you can do it!) Anyway, my real reason for posting is to comment on the Ritilin (methylphenidate). Before I was ever put on Adderall I was prescribed Ritilin for two years. I find it incredible that some of the people who post on this site seem to have just as many problems with methylphenidate as I do with Adderall. I don't doubt the problems it's caused them but for me, switching from methylphenidate to Adderall was like night and day. I know it did SOMETHING--but nothing like the drastic changes that Adderall caused in me. I never had any issues with withdrawal from taking the Ritilin and if I forgot a dose (which I did quite frequently) it was never an issue--at all! As soon as I started taking Adderall though one of the first things I noticed was my ability to suddenly remember to take it consistently every day at the same time. At the time I just attributed it to Adderall's efficacy. However, as time went by I eventually came to a point when--for whatever reason--I missed my first dose (I don't remember the exact date or anything but it was within the first couple years of taking it). Zang! It felt like I'd had a triple frontal lobotomy! I mean the withdrawal was unlike anything I'd ever heard of before! Horrendous! Anyway, I'm not trying to advocate pharmaceuticals--I believe, in most cases--if you can--that completely detoxing from medications altogether is truly your best bet. But I find it interesting that some people can take methylphenidate and have it completely change them and ruin their lives, while other people--like you and me--can take it, suffer no discernible anxiety, withdrawal syndrome, or personality changes and simultaneously extract a therapeutic value from it (albeit weaker than Adderall's). About a year ago I decided to try to get off of the Adderall by switching to the equivalent dosage of Concerta (time release Methylphenidate). It definitely was helping but I still got depressed, chickened out, and eventually switched back to Adderall again within a couple months (Errr!). Now I wish I'd just stayed with it. Another advantage of Methylphenidate is that--according to wikipedia--it can actually protect against amphetamine-related development of Parkinson's Disease (Adderall [amphetamine] can increase the risk of developing Parkinson's Disease in later life--even at therapeutic levels). As I write this it's June of 2013. Your post is from 2010 so, assuming you still visit this site, if you see this post I'd love to know how switching back to Methylphenidate has worked for you (assuming you followed your plan). Take care and good luck!
  15. Extreme social anxiety

    Hey LILTEX, I've heard of it going both ways. I've been on Adderall now for over half my life--about 15 years (every day at between 30 - 40 milligrams a day). I was prescribed it for inattentive ADHD. I've never had a problem with abusing it. Before Adderall I had been taking Ritilin for 2 years--but it hardly did anything for me. I was first prescribed it in the summer of the year I graduated middle school (this was in 1998 and I had just turned 14). Most of the friends I'd had in middle school ended up going to a different high school in the fall, so at about the same time I was first prescribed Adderall I was also going through that whole transition as well. Anyway, once I started high school and was taking Adderall I pretty much just locked myself in my room and completely focused on schoolwork (I'd always been a terrible student before Adderall). Needless to say my grades improved tremendously. The problem was that I began to completely shut everyone out and wasn't socializing, wasn't making friends, and wasn't dating. My personality totally changed and I became quiet, cerebral, and (frankly) kind of boring. I began to relish in the time I spent alone. For a long time I didn't really have a problem with being around other people, I just preferred being alone. Then gradually it came to be like I couldn't STAND being around other people. After years of this sort of degenerative behavior it got to be like I'm "addicted" to being alone--tough to explain but anyone with this type of issue probably knows what I'm referring to. About eight years ago I was diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder--which is like an extreme version of Generalized Social Anxiety Disorder. At the time I didn't think too much about the diagnoses but as the years passed by I've gotten worse and worse. All through high school and up to this point I've literally only had one person I can say was an actual friend (but we wen't our separate ways quite a few years ago). Sounds helluv pathetic, I know--but most people don't see that there's anything wrong with me. Anyway, that's kind of my story as far as the social anxiety goes. What are your issues?