carock84 Posted July 31, 2015 Report Share Posted July 31, 2015 To everyone out there I have been on this site for about a month now and I have quit taking my Vyvanse for two weeks at a time and have always talked myself into that Vyvanse works for me and is not as bad as Adderall. Well just because it is not as bad as Adderall was for me that is not a legit reason to take some kind of pill that Still eats your soul and doesn't make you feel like yourself. So as of Today July 31st 2015 I have flushed my pills and this is going to begin my sober journey from these pills once and for all. I have sooooo much knowledge on these drugs that I know I can do it and I feel for the past 5 years of Adderall and 2 on vyvanse I feel deep down this is the thing that is holding me back and masking the true self I have been searching for since I was 20 years old. I stated in my first post on here that I had to quit drinking alcohol for 7 months due to getting a second DUI. Yes quitting alcohol changed my life tremendously but during those times of being lonely and on house arrest you know what got me by? Vyvanse. Did it help me get by those times it sure as hell did but I will tell you this once I got off house arrest and was free to do what I want and still being on Vyvanse I still have those "lost soul" feelings and it is not getting me forward on trying to find myself. This is it!! Just get me to 60 days and I will be well on my way. Its going to be hard and I know this. If I have that depressing feeling of lonliness and lost in the world SO BE IT. If I come home from work depressed not being able to do anything SO BE IT. I got to get through those tough times and I know I can beat this. I will try and keep everyone updated but sometimes after I quit its hard for me to express how I feeling or have a desire to at that. Im so excited to get my life back this time. I don't care if I start feeling better after 2 weeks and think to myself this is a piece of cake and I think I should be on them and it wont hurt me. NO! this time I am refusing my script refill and If I get any inclination of thinking about going back on them I am coming on this site and with all you guys help to steer me away from getting back on them. MUCH LOVE EVERYONE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post quit-once Posted August 1, 2015 Popular Post Report Share Posted August 1, 2015 So how will this time be different? "refusing my script refill" is not the same as telling the DR that you are addicted to them and can no longer be prescribed any stimulants, ever again. Too embarrassed to admit addiction? then lie and say you had a bad reaction to them. But you have to do something drastic and permanent or the temptation to refill will overcome you once again when the time comes. Good luck. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted August 1, 2015 Report Share Posted August 1, 2015 Hey carock84 I I was thinking the same exact thing as quit once when I read your post. "Refusing my script refill" did not sound like a strong enough inclination. You are leaving the door open to "just in case".."just in case" is extremely persuasive to the adderallic. Almost everyone who quits successfully closes that door by cutting off their doctor. What do you think about quit onces suggestion? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doge Posted August 2, 2015 Report Share Posted August 2, 2015 I'm going to chime in with agreement as well. To be honest I wince whenever I read something along the lines of "I was supposed to refill my prescription yesterday but I'm not going to do it!". I try to be positive in my response but in reality I'm usually skeptical about the chance of success. Because I swore I would do this for months and months and months and my relapses were like clockwork until I finally just came clean and got myself actually cut off permanently. My advice is don't risk delaying or ruining your recovery just to avoid embarassment. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carock84 Posted August 2, 2015 Author Report Share Posted August 2, 2015 I am not embarrassed or scared to go to my doctor and get off anything. I did that when I was hooked on Adderall. I was really HOOKED on that stuff and I told my doctor crying that I needed off it and he did. Vyvanse is nowhere near as bad affecting my life but yes It is already in my plan to go to my doctor to get off it. I am not scared to do that or am being weak. Ill check back in a few weeks when time has passed and let you know how I am doing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAwesome Posted August 4, 2015 Report Share Posted August 4, 2015 I can't believe the doctor would prescribe you vyvanse after you were in his office crying about being hooked on Adderall. I have an acquaintance who quit meth 5 years ago and her doctor recently prescribed her Adderall. REALLY?!?! and he knew she had a history with amphetamine abuse. Unreal how strong a hold pharmaceutical companies have on the docs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carock84 Posted August 4, 2015 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2015 It wasn't the same doctor. When I was taking adderall I did switch doctors and got back on it at one time. I was thinking to myself how can they not check my old documents from my previous place and just go with my word. But eventually I switched to vyvanse. Day 5 now free and last night was a nightmare literally. I went to bed super early and woke up at 8pm. Ate something and went back to bed. Well I started having sleep paralysis last night. Ive had this many of times before so I'm kinda probed to it but it happened during a really bad thunder storm which made it 10 times scarier because I couldn't move and the thunder was horrible along with demon like dreams. I just prayed but I know its just my brain repairing its self. I also noticed that all my problems in my life start appearing slowly in my head. Its like vyvanse masked my problems and now they are reappearing. I feel alright physically but mentally I am really depressed and lathargic right now. I feel like I have no hope or future at the moment. I feel trapped and really dull and boring but I have no intentions on going back on any substance ever again at least not vyvanse. I want to heal myself once and for all this time and my soul is telling me to really quit. I do feel my personality coming back which is great but I'm at that stage where its hard for me to talk and get words out. I'm on my way though. I'm in bed now and its 7pm and I have to get up at 1am for work tomorrow for a 12 hour shift. I haven't worked a 12 hour shift in months and of course they schedule me one the first week after quitting 😕..oh well I got this....I'll check back soon and write where I'm at in about a week. Much love 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAwesome Posted August 5, 2015 Report Share Posted August 5, 2015 You've got this, that's right! Hang in there, you can do this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carock84 Posted August 13, 2015 Author Report Share Posted August 13, 2015 Day 12 over with....just dealing with depression and anger. Hope it goes away. Take care everyone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAwesome Posted August 13, 2015 Report Share Posted August 13, 2015 WOO HOO!! Great Job. I was angry and sad for a few weeks...it does go away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carock84 Posted August 13, 2015 Author Report Share Posted August 13, 2015 Thanks for the reply. Yeah I am fine at work and stuff but the loneliness at home and not being motivated is what is getting me. But I understand that this is process and my life will not be normal just like that let alone "normal" ever because life is what you make it. Take care Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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