dolssa Posted February 27, 2023 Report Share Posted February 27, 2023 I can't wrap my head around how many people use this site and we are addicted to legal drugs given to children. I have been using Adderall my entire 20s.. I am 28. I was prescribed 20mg twice a day. and then 1mg Xanax to sleep at night. I quit Adderall for a year in 2020. relapsed and now on 40 mg of vyvanve. I never quit Xanax which I didn't even think I had a problem with because I was always thinking about Adderall not Xanax. but oh my god I had a rude awakening when I ran out and couldn't get my script. the withdrawals were insane. I didn't sleep for 4 days. mild psychosis. derealizion, scary stuff. so now I have two addictions. all because I told my doctor I had trouble concentrating. Im so angry. no better time than do start back at day 1 with the shortage. and I never thought id say this, but im more worried about coming off the Xanax. Im annoyed that my meds make me feel normal. they help me socialize. but they make me a zombie. I don't feel anything. im over it. im going to go cold turkey off stimulants and ween off my Xanax starting tomorrow. will update. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krae19 Posted February 28, 2023 Report Share Posted February 28, 2023 I was on it for most of my 20s too, you didn’t ruin your life. The fact that you are recognizing that you need to quit and wanting to do it is the first step to making a change. It’s not going to be easy but you will get to a point where you don’t even think about the pills anymore. You can do it. Xanax is extremely addicting too I know.. I started taking a low dose of Paxil to help me through.. it’s been a little over 100 days for me. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ALA Posted February 28, 2023 Report Share Posted February 28, 2023 @dolssahow was your year off your meds in 2020? And what pushed you to get back on your meds? I feel your anger and pain so deeply. I often blame my doctor for not being real with me regarding how addictive stimulants are...and I have no idea how bad Xanax addiction is. But honestly, I was the one seeking the drug and the doctor was just following protocol. Like mentioned above, you made the first step writing here and being transparent with how numb you are feeling. Keep posting so you hold yourself accountable. This site has helped me tremendously over the past 40 days. Every time, which is a lot lately, that I think about refilling my prescription I come on here just to know I'm not alone. I also look at pictures of myself when I was letting Adderall control my life and I feel disgusted. That helps me push through another day. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon B Posted March 1, 2023 Report Share Posted March 1, 2023 Stay positive dolssa! Every day is a win and every day without addy gets you closer to the real you. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dolssa Posted March 1, 2023 Author Report Share Posted March 1, 2023 @ALA looking back the year off was great comapred to where I am now. the first 6 months were tough but I started feeling my personality come back a bit. I relapsed when the pandemic eased and more work was thrown my way and also Adderall had always helped me socialize which I feel like the pandemic made me more introverted than I was before. I felt lonely and depressed and knew Adderall would get me out of bed. it did. obviously huge mistake. but thank you for responding and the encouraging words. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dolssa Posted March 1, 2023 Author Report Share Posted March 1, 2023 @Krae19 thank you for leaving a response. congrats on over 100 days!!! I know that when I reach that milestone again I will be stronger than I was the first time. id do anything to do back and not relapse! again congrats, you are doing amazing. <3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dolssa Posted March 1, 2023 Author Report Share Posted March 1, 2023 @tjzen congrats on 7.5 months. that's huge. keep going. when I felt down when I was clean its no where near how im feeling now. keep pushing day by day. thank you for the encouraging response 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ALA Posted March 2, 2023 Report Share Posted March 2, 2023 @dolssaI think coming back on here shows that you're yearning to reconnect with those parts of yourself in 2020 when you stopped taking Adderrall for a year. Keep coming on here to engage in any way. I know it helps me to hear about your experience Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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