Bad Situation with this medication and life in general

[speeder1975]

I am 38/male and from the USA.. I started this over a year ago and the doctor has me legitimately on 50MG a day. I didn't realize how addicting it is and I didn't realize that I was driven at times to the manic side since I am also on Prozac 80MG a day and Neurontin.

Last month, I refilled an extra prescription that I had because the doctor wrote me one ahead of time because I was about to be discharged because I wasn't seeing a therapist. Got the second one filled at a pharmacy that I never got any medication from and paid cash.. Over the past six weeks or so I have taken anywhere from 60MG - 100MG a day. I pop 2 20MG when I get out of bed and take with Monster Energy. I had a friend get some more from me from a hookup.

I have been using them as a crutch to get thru bad situations just pop the pills like a candy. I never feel that Euphoric effect I once had and I really need to charge the SSRI because I flip out at the tiniest problem..

All these medications have done more harm than good. I have NO job and I have a BA degree & MS degree in fields that are in demand and after over two years of interviewing, temp jobs that just 'ended' with a phone call for a vague reason and no full time job I have no motivation. I own a business absentee but that is a whole other story..

I am trying to taper down slowly. Is insomnia & trouble sleeping common side effect. I cannot get more than a few hours of sleep and some times I am constantly starving. I workout doing high intensity boxing conditioning at least 5 days a week so I am still (thank god) within normal range for weight.

[LILTEX41]

You CAN DO IT! Just keep moving forward. Everything will work itself out in the end. Right now, just get off the pills. Make that you're only goal if you can. Welcome!

[quit-once]

You CAN DO IT! Just keep moving forward. Everything will work itself out in the end. Right now, just get off the pills. Make that you're only goal if you can. Welcome!

I agree with LilTex. Just get off the shit. You are only prolonging the missery and agony by tapering. You are an addict and trying to taper for more that a week or so is going to be tough if not impossible to continue for the long term. Stimulants are one of the few classes of drugs where you can just go cold turkey and not end up in the hospital or die. You just feel like crap for a few days and then you begin the long, eratic and painful climb of recovery and growing away from your addiction. But you can't begin to recover until you are done taking the pills.