quit-once Posted May 21, 2016 Report Share Posted May 21, 2016 This guy came to visit me the other day! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LILTEX41 Posted May 21, 2016 Report Share Posted May 21, 2016 Excited! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LILTEX41 Posted May 22, 2016 Report Share Posted May 22, 2016 Facilitating (my first face to face Smart Meeting on Monday). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted May 22, 2016 Report Share Posted May 22, 2016 house work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LILTEX41 Posted May 24, 2016 Report Share Posted May 24, 2016 OVERJOYED!!!! I did it. I facilitated my first Smart Recovery meeting and it went so well. It's only been 3 years since I did the training, moved 1200 miles back home, bought a condo, found a meeting relapsed on alcohol for 6 months, got 6 months clean time back (mandatory time to be a facilitator) and now finally facilitated my first meeting. Wow, it so rewarding. Feels great to check another item of the bucket list and finally be able to give back. Joy! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted May 24, 2016 Report Share Posted May 24, 2016 tuesday. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted May 27, 2016 Report Share Posted May 27, 2016 top 40. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LILTEX41 Posted May 27, 2016 Report Share Posted May 27, 2016 Let It Be Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted May 30, 2016 Report Share Posted May 30, 2016 3 years 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LILTEX41 Posted May 31, 2016 Report Share Posted May 31, 2016 3 years Awesome Z!!!!! Hope things are getting better!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LILTEX41 Posted May 31, 2016 Report Share Posted May 31, 2016 Happy again 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quit-once Posted May 31, 2016 Report Share Posted May 31, 2016 3 years Cool. Do you feel like you are "mostly" recovered? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted June 1, 2016 Report Share Posted June 1, 2016 Cool. Do you feel like you are "mostly" recovered? Close enough. Such a hard question to answer. Adderall completely blew up my life, I'm still picking up the pieces. But I'm moving forward, I quit smoking 2 years ago today also. I've even lost some weight. In total its been 5 years since I heard the word adderall, and it put a colossal crater in my career, relationships and finances. I am stronger from the experience. But I'm just glad its over. Tho I don't think we ever fully recover but close enough lets get on with life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted June 5, 2016 Report Share Posted June 5, 2016 like girl so why not talk to girl? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doge Posted June 18, 2016 Report Share Posted June 18, 2016 go get her Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted June 28, 2016 Report Share Posted June 28, 2016 I need a job a decent job that pays my bills and causes me a normal amount of stress and gives me time to work on my side projects. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted July 6, 2016 Report Share Posted July 6, 2016 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
William Posted July 6, 2016 Report Share Posted July 6, 2016 I need that same job Zerokewl. Seems so much has to do with the amount of stress we allow in our life. Trouble is it's a great balancing act. To much stress caused by higher wage job may pay the bills and then some, but can create the perfect trap for relapse; "work hard, play hard..." Low stress job that pays squat creates financial stress with no money to pursue personal interests... I know I'm being mr. obvious here, but for such a simple concept I haven't found the answer yet. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted July 6, 2016 Report Share Posted July 6, 2016 I need that same job Zerokewl. Seems so much has to do with the amount of stress we allow in our life. Trouble is it's a great balancing act. To much stress caused by higher wage job may pay the bills and then some, but can create the perfect trap for relapse; "work hard, play hard..." Low stress job that pays squat creates financial stress with no money to pursue personal interests... I know I'm being mr. obvious here, but for such a simple concept I haven't found the answer yet. well as it stands the old career path is kinda derailed. My life was entirely about my career for so long, I find it frustrating that I can't find something. Ideally a small company with an easygoing culture and a product that needs to be brought to market, with some revenue streams that allow for R & D. A job that makes my failures seem like just a practice run. I want something I can sink my teeth into. While I search for that job, I need something to help supplement my income in the short term and gets me out of the house. The businesses I started do not produce enough money to live on and pay debts that occurred mostly while on Adderall. I've painted myself into a corner financially and need to get stable. I'm not complaining this has been an interesting year and there is so much to be positive about. This is just a stage of recovery I need to get through. It's frustrating that I currently reside in the "has been" category of life. But I know this is just temporary, fortunes rise and fall and I am moving towards a more stable future. In fact many would be jealous of my unattached life style. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
William Posted July 7, 2016 Report Share Posted July 7, 2016 You capture so much so well Zerokewl. Your attitude and perspective is absolutely spot on and inspiring. Im trying to develop a similar way of looking at this period of my life. Thanks for sharing your insight. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted July 7, 2016 Report Share Posted July 7, 2016 You capture so much so well Zerokewl. Your attitude and perspective is absolutely spot on and inspiring. Im trying to develop a similar way of looking at this period of my life. Thanks for sharing your insight. I think this perspective took some time to develop, looking back on my career and life. I was kind of a arrogant prick when I was younger. Especially when I was on stims. Recovery means accepting a new normal and new reality. The cool thing is you get to create that new reality. I think it is key to train for this new reality. That opportunity is coming, if it came today would you be ready?It takes time to build muscle, burn fat and learn new skills. Just keep trying. 3 years ago I slept through the summer in early recovery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LILTEX41 Posted July 7, 2016 Report Share Posted July 7, 2016 Happiness 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
William Posted July 7, 2016 Report Share Posted July 7, 2016 Again I absolutely resonate with all that you discuss. It's taking time to realize the extent of my being something of an arrogant jerk while on "stims". I'm doing what I can to accept the fall-out and forgive myself. I've leaned more lessons then I could possibly count. At my point in recovery 5-6 months, I don't feel ready for what's next, I'm in the fight of my life to just press on with what my current responsibilities are. But during moments of relief, brief as they are, I imagine myself back to full-time work, enjoying the comradery of co-workers, planning vacations, on and on... And doing what I can everyday to get that life back. Right now that means sticking with my part-time job even though it is mostly mindless work, doing my share of house chores, no drinking, no nicotine, in bed at 10:00pm, 30-45 minutes walking 4 days a week, and a promise to my wife to never,never,never "give-up" the fight..... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted July 8, 2016 Report Share Posted July 8, 2016 Again I absolutely resonate with all that you discuss. It's taking time to realize the extent of my being something of an arrogant jerk while on "stims". I'm doing what I can to accept the fall-out and forgive myself. I've leaned more lessons then I could possibly count. At my point in recovery 5-6 months, I don't feel ready for what's next, I'm in the fight of my life to just press on with what my current responsibilities are. But during moments of relief, brief as they are, I imagine myself back to full-time work, enjoying the comradery of co-workers, planning vacations, on and on... And doing what I can everyday to get that life back. Right now that means sticking with my part-time job even though it is mostly mindless work, doing my share of house chores, no drinking, no nicotine, in bed at 10:00pm, 30-45 minutes walking 4 days a week, and a promise to my wife to never,never,never "give-up" the fight..... this is how recovery is done. Brick by brick layer by layer. Things get better. Just keep your routine going and things will gradually turn around. Time heals. At 6 months I was still pretty lethargic and had a lot of stomach issues. Pretty tough to work full time when you sleep 15hours a day. Take it slow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted July 8, 2016 Report Share Posted July 8, 2016 cowboy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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