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One Word Status Update


JustinW

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Crumbling - 12 hour shifts won't go away.

crumbling can be a sign of dehydration, please make sure to stay well hydrated!  I know it's been a brutal couple of weeks for you and it couldn't come at a more inopportune time but you WILL make it through this and you WILL be a stronger person because you are a fighter!

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Eyeache, Just switched to a new computer monitor and this new one is so... glowy. It reminds me of when I was on adderall and couldn't sit facing the same direction as all my other coworkers in the room because the light from the window was too bright. My eyes were so sensitive on adderall.

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struggling

 

 

A lot of recovery is struggling, but it will be worth it in the end. When we finally become stronger because of it. I am definitely struggling as well, but I consider it a good thing. Like you, I'm struggling with procrastination mainly in doing the most important things. It's really hard but constant small successes will change our habits.. I'm holding myself to do at least 30 mins of school work a day because somtimes I just go so many damn days without doing any after trying to do several hours a day. I don't have due dates or deadlines on it so it's hard to push myself. This is a problem I NEVER would have had pre-adderall. It's a struggle but it will be well worth it! Don't forget that.

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Thanks man, I appreciate it.  The video ended up frustrating a little though because I'm having a tough time finding my way lately.  I'm trying to find that balance between peace and complacency.  There is always a part of me that is looking for the next step and that part of me is screaming that it can't find the next step and that there is no progress being made toward the next step.  That part of me wants to be the workaholic but it knows that working hard in my current situation will provide no personal gain so it sees no point.  I am like a ship without a rudder tossed about in a storm (in my professional life).  I am not sure if I should listen to the little guy or stifle him.  Anyways, thanks for listening.

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In your case, I think working hard would be considered doing certain things that help you find your way in your professional life. Work as hard as you can at whatever is most important. I work my ass off in the gym, but that's not that important. And it doesn't translate to me working hard at school unfortunately. It's pretty hard to move forward toward an unknown next step. Maybe try meditating to help you figure out what the most important next step for you is. Basically, figure out WHAT YOU WANT in your life and go get bro! Don't sell yourself short by telling yourself that you can't find the next step because you absolutely can! Would you say your ADHD plays a role in your issues? Or do you not have ADHD?

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Oh yes, I definitely have ADHD.  ADHD helped me explore a wide variety of opportunities pre-adderall and while I was on adderall.  I seem to have lost that.  Thank you for making me write that out because it made me realize that I probably just need to relax and focus more on recovery right now.  I think lack of sleep, laziness, and lack of progress on a lot of fronts (even though I knocked out a bunch of work this morning) is just catching up with me today that and I missed lunch.

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Oh yes, I definitely have ADHD.  ADHD helped me explore a wide variety of opportunities pre-adderall and while I was on adderall.  I seem to have lost that.  Thank you for making me write that out because it made me realize that I probably just need to relax and focus more on recovery right now.  I think lack of sleep, laziness, and lack of progress on a lot of fronts (even though I knocked out a bunch of work this morning) is just catching up with me today that and I missed lunch.

 

No problem. My dad has ADHD and has been unemployed for the past 7 years. He was prescribed addy for a couple years, although never got addicted, and I wonder if some of the problems he's having today isn't because of adderall. He didn't even realize that adderall was addictive when I told him about my addiction, so perhaps it was difficult for him to recover from something he didn't know he had to recover from. Maybe he got so down/depressed during recovery by his lack of being able to get anything done that it is still affecting him today. He is making progress but I do understand that it can be a lot more difficult for people with ADHD to properly focus on what is really necessary. That and depression can really keep someone from getting things done. I don't have ADHD so knowing what I have to do is less the problem and actually doing it is more the problem right now. Congrats on getting a bunch of shit done this morning. Try and get some more sleep man, it will make a huge difference!

 

Dillon

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