positivefuture99 Posted March 5, 2014 Report Share Posted March 5, 2014 Hello everyone, I have visited these forums for awhile and tried to use some of the suggestions/methods but I can't seem to win this battle with adderall. First, I would like to tell you that you are all an inspiration and I aspire to have the strength you all have in overcoming this battle. Here is my story: I grew up in a struggling single mother household ever since my father left and I have three siblings. I never had addiction problems in my time throughout college (although I did recreationally party on the weekends), but once I sat for the Law School Admission Test I struggled to gain a decent score. my physician prescribed me adderall and said I was hyperactive/adhd and it felt like I was suddenly awake and all these years I've been angry trying to do cardio to take the edge off and not understand why I had bad grades in college or engaged in some reckless behavior, but now I finally felt focused, euphoric, caring, passionate, and alive. Once I left my job to become a full time law student, I was hammered with work and I was struggling to get through the material. I stayed home and commuted to law school my first year and used adderall as a crutch throughout the entire year to get through. I then finally came off adderall in May last year and had serious withdrawals, circles under my eyes, and couldnt function for weeks before starting my summer job. I then tried wellbutrin and it helped the cravings but made me very snappy and angry after awhile so once I stopped that I filled my adderall prescription in the middle of the summer to help deal with the work at summer job. I stopped taking adderall over this past winter break and I fought through withdrawals with wellbutrin but it made me snappy again and I couldn't seem to kick this mental robotic fog. Now I find myself at the end of my second year with huge opportunities for this summer and I am trying to kick this drug. It does not effect me the same yet I need it to feel normal and get through the school work. Law school was the cause of this, but I take full responsibility for my actions and I am trying to get better. My doctor just recently prescribed me Lexapro to take with adderall because my anxiety and depression was getting so bad. I question if I may be bipolar, but I've seen a psych. and it was ruled it out based on the fact I was able to take Wellbutrin and not be hospitalized (not sure what that meant). I just cant seem to kick it during the semester but I now have dark circles under my eyes and I don't know what else to do. I would rather conquer this battle now during school than wait until summer or blow potential opportunities or life experiences. I appreciate all the advice and support. Thank you! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetCarolinee Posted March 6, 2014 Report Share Posted March 6, 2014 Welcome PositiveFuture! So glad you found this site and your here. Also glad you want to quit, hell yeah!I've been Adderall/Vyvanse free for a little over 2 months with a lot of help from this site/the amazing people on it. I was on Adderall for 5 years and than Vyvanse the last 2 and it's been a hell of a ride so far but so worth it and it's only just begun. My only regret is NOT quitting sooner.My doc put me on Lexpro after 3 years being on Adderall because I started to be depressed and have panic attacks and I would start crying but I literally had NO reason to be sad. For the first time in my life I became depressed and it doesn't run in my family. I knew it was the pills so I stopped taking the Adderall and just took the Lexpro for about a month and I did feel better but did terribly in college so I stopped the Lexpro and started the Adderall again. In the Fall, I got very depressed again while on Vyvanse and got put on Zoloft and I took them together up until Dec. 28th, 2013 when I quit the Vyvanse for good (but I am currently still on the Zoloft). And I want to be for at least 6 months from what my doctor suggests. All in all, if I haven't started talking Adderall I don't think I would ever have had to start any anti-depressant meds AT ALL. And I also thought I was bi-polar on Adderall and I thought I had every other sickness/disease. I think Adderall brings out the hypochondriac in all of us. At least it did in me. Now I don't think that as much nor do I think I'm bi-polar. My new psychiatrist thinks either the Adderall or Vyvanse or maybe both or because I drank a lot while on them made me start having OCD thinking and sometimes very negative. I feel so much better now, not being on Adderall and only on Zoloft. Sooner than later, I want to be off the Zoe as well. Sorry, this may sound so confusing.I suggest quitting ASAP, the sooner, the better because it's just going to get worse and harder, the longer you wait. It seems like now is the perfect time and we are here for you for any help/support that you need! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetCarolinee Posted March 6, 2014 Report Share Posted March 6, 2014 Also, what suggestions/methods have you tried in the past to quit that didn't work for you? You have to try to possibly come up with new/other methods to be successful and for good this time! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
positivefuture99 Posted March 6, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2014 SweetCarolinee, Thank you so much for responding and your advice. I have tried L-tyrosine to combat withdrawals last summer and I was still fighting a huge mental fog for weeks until I tried Wellbutrin. Only thing stopping me from quitting adderall now is the amount of school work I have to still get through, but more importantly the withdrawals. I am not sure if Lexapro will prevent withdrawals or the mental fog because it has significantly helped my anxiety and depression but I have been on 20MG IR a day since the beginning of the semester in January. I'm not sure if I can combine Wellbutrin with Lexapro because that might help withdrawals and still keep me level headed, but I guess I will do my best to cut the doseage now and prepare to quit over my spring break which is coming up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinW Posted March 6, 2014 Report Share Posted March 6, 2014 Welcome to the forums positivefuture! It seems that a lot of law students visit this place with a similar story to yours. As you have found out, the recovery process sucks. You keep putting yourself through the worst of it by quitting and starting again. The first 3 months or so are really bad and experiencing that more than once is a real demotivator. Having said all that, there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and the journey through the dark valley is worth is for the prize of not being on that poison. Mike has written / collected some great articles that would be a good place to start to plan a successful quit this go around. Stay close to the forum and post as much as possible. Please consider taking the 30 day challenge so we can cheer you through the process. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
positivefuture99 Posted March 6, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2014 JustinW, Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. Unfortunately, the horrible withdrawal effect has been so bad that I couldn't get my school work done. Wellbutrin worked well to combat the withdrawal but made me snappy so I have to decide if I should take a leap of faith and try that or maybe ask my doctor about increasing my Lexapro does to 20mg (if that makes a difference). I will try to quit again over my break next week. Thank you all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted March 11, 2014 Report Share Posted March 11, 2014 You'll be back! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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