Popular Post ashley6 Posted March 31, 2014 Popular Post Report Share Posted March 31, 2014 I truly can't believe it's been 2 years since I've started this journey of giving up something that meant so much to me, and I truly thought I couldn't live without...adderall. When I reflect back on what my life was like two years ago before I quit versus the life I have now, I am SO grateful for where I am. The last one and a half to two years of my seven years of adderall use were pretty heavy abuse. I was simply existing and working to buy more and more and more pills. I was in the darkest of places emotionally and mentally, and I knew something was bound to happen, whether it be jail, psych ward, or honestly I wasn't so sure death wasn't a possibility. I woke up to get high, I was living with a man fifteen years older than me who had no intention of marrying me or even having a future with me, and I was a lost soul. These past two years have been both a struggle but some of the most rewarding times of my life. One thing I definitely lost along the way was my confidence. I didn't feel or believe I deserved a better life. When I quit adderall, I didn't really have the option to just get by anymore. I had to learn to attempt to build a life of something I was proud of, because I wasn't hiding behind drugs anymore. The best part about it is I actually CARED and had the desire to make a better life for myself. I finished college in December, am starting my new career next Monday (ahhhh!) and have found a relationship with a man that truly values me. I still think about adderall. I'm looking forward to the time when I don't (if that ever happens), but through the help of this site and my counselor (and lots and lots of prayer) I feel like I've found ways to deal with it. I'm nervous/scared to begin my career, but I know letting fear stand in the way is the last thing I want to happen. I still deal with being tired often, but I doubt this has a whole lot to do with adderall at this point. I plan on making an appointment at a sleep study center to see if I can get any answers as to why. For those of you who have helped me along the way, I'm SO grateful for you all, and I truly don't think I'd have two years under my belt without your support. At the beginning, I was a mess (still am sometimes), and Cassie, LilTex, Inrecovery, and quit-once, you put up with me from the beginning I continue to learn a lot from this site from so many of you....too many to name. For those of you struggling with giving up adderall, you can do it! It is SO worth it! 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post quit-once Posted March 31, 2014 Popular Post Report Share Posted March 31, 2014 What a journey it has been, Ashley. You quit on your own terms, without a formal rehab program and shunned the temptations for relapsing. You finished college for real, (I remember the story of how you didn't quite graduate on Adderall but told everybody you did anyway.) Found a better relationship and a real job. All without the crippling "crutch" of an addictive mind-fucking stimulant drug. My heartfelt congratulations to you! So, in the spirit of self betterment, may I suggest the following challenges for your third year of recovery? * Stick with your new job until you have learned and mastered at least three new job skills * Make better nutrition and better sleep some of your highest priorities in life * Continue to be physically active * Reduce your dependence on the psycho- pharmaceuticals you are still taking, including the benzos. if possible. * Kick the cigs * Find a cute little puppy to welcome into your life 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted March 31, 2014 Report Share Posted March 31, 2014 Congrats Ashley. . Your struggle is being rewarded. Amazing what a difference two years make. Thank-you for your contributions to this site 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Cassie Posted March 31, 2014 Popular Post Report Share Posted March 31, 2014 Congrats Ashley! Two years was a big turning point for me, much more than one year. It felt like more of an accomplishment or something. I like that you said you have worked to build a life that you are proud of. I need to start doing that, instead of feeling bad about myself and sad about my past life choices. It's great that your life is coming together, post adderall. Your sleep might improve when you start a regular job and are on more of a set schedule. I second the puppy suggestion! Or, do what I did and adopt an adult dog that is already trained and won't tear up your house 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinW Posted March 31, 2014 Report Share Posted March 31, 2014 Congratulations Ashley! 2 years and all these great things happening for you are all really exciting. YOU DESERVE IT 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Greg Posted March 31, 2014 Popular Post Report Share Posted March 31, 2014 Ashley, congratulations on two years~and putting more distance from yourself and that evil drug!!! I can't believe two years has passed already. I am excited for hearing about this new stage in your life and I know things will only get better from here!! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post LILTEX41 Posted March 31, 2014 Popular Post Report Share Posted March 31, 2014 Ashley, Oh how this post just makes me heart warm! I am so so so happy for you! Two years is such an amazing accomplishment. You just sound so great and I am so proud of you too! Recovery is not always easy and I know you've had struggles along this path as all of us have had at one time or another, you stuck through it and prevailed. Now you are feeling emotionally secure and happy with who you are because you know you've built this life all on your own and not by the hands of some evil little pill. I am just so happy to hear you are doing well and I pray your story inspires other addicts out there who are struggling and don't know how they can survive without Adderall. Sometimes, that's all we need in life.....just a little hope. You have inspired me today. I feel blessed we crossed paths and I can't wait to see what the next 2 years of recovery brings for you in your life. Congratulations!!! Hugs!! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetCarolinee Posted April 1, 2014 Report Share Posted April 1, 2014 Ashley,Congratulations on being Adderall free for 2 years and completely turning your life around, that is HUGE. You are AMAZING and such an inspiration. I really needed to hear your comment. It was beautiful and helps motivation me and the rest of us. You have come such a long way and your only going to go even further and be even stronger in the future You deserve the best life possible and congrats on the new job, that's so exciting and I'm sure you will do wonderfully at it. I can't wait to hear about it!We are so grateful to have you here and I agree with everyone, you should def get a pup! Haha 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sebastian05 Posted April 1, 2014 Report Share Posted April 1, 2014 Congratulations Ashley Very happy to hear that you're happy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Posted April 1, 2014 Report Share Posted April 1, 2014 I'm smiling as I read all the posts because this is such a happy thread. This is a terrific little community we have here. You were the first one to reply to my first post and I can remember clinging to your kind words of support. I was afraid that you might leave the site and I would have to do this all alone. But you stayed and I am so grateful for it. Thank you for staying and congratulations. It's great to see all the growth you have produced in two years without the pills. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeHereNow Posted April 2, 2014 Report Share Posted April 2, 2014 Ashley you're unstoppable! Congratulations on 2 years clean-- what a great achievement! I'm so proud of you, and also so incredibly grateful for all the support and words of advice and wisdom you have to offer to us on here. I have to echo what Jon said; your encouraging and empathetic posts have gone a long way towards helping me stay clean. You're done so much, and you've come so far, and you completely deserve all the good things that are coming your way 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ashley6 Posted April 3, 2014 Author Popular Post Report Share Posted April 3, 2014 I was having problems logging onto here through my phone, so I read all of your posts, it just wouldn't let me respond It's working on my computer, though. Thank you all for your thoughtful posts! Who knew that we could find such an amazing support system on a website? You all have no idea how much I want a dog. My living situation right now won't allow it, but I have puppy fever! After thinking about my post, I don't want it to sound like i'm bragging about how great my life is, because I still have my struggles for sure, but if I'm comparing the adderall days versus my life now, I can only be extremely grateful. Quitonce, I think those are some great points you make in continuing moving forward in recovery. And for those of you who thought I might ditch this site, I'm not going anywhere! One day at a time is all we can do....so keep on keeping on, my quitting friends 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisJL Posted April 4, 2014 Report Share Posted April 4, 2014 I don't know if you'll read this or what this will mean to you, but I just want to let you know that I truly find inspiration in your post. I hope I can be there one day, looking back on what a mess I once was. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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