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Could you "turn off" when you were always on?


Greg

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I thought it might be interesting to pose some questions about adderall, topics similar to what Mike was posting on, and people can gradually share their experiences...

 

I was never able to turn myself off on adderall. When I was revved up on it, I couldn't just do yoga or meditate or something like deep breathing.  There were countless days where I had to wake up early, and so I just didn't even try to go to sleep the night before because I was so revved up. Were any of you actually able to "turn off" when you "revved up" on speed? Were there times where you really needed to turn off but you couldnt?

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Nope, never able to "turn it off."  I mean I would take xanax and/or drink to calm it down, but it was still there.  I was still weird and tweaking even when it was time to be social or relaxed.   I'd try to clean, or run, or something to burn it all off, but that only went so far.  I would even wake up the next day still feeling it in my system sometimes.  UGH, just the memory of it.........  

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Reading this made me try to remember what I felt like on Adderall. Flash back 6 years ago, a year into my love affair and abuse of Adderall and booze, a year into college. I was fucking out of my mind. Could never turn off or calm down. What a nut-case, looney tunes. I would drink a handle of Jose, still be 50 shades of cray. I would run 10 miles a day and still not be able to turn it off. And I always felt not comfortable in my core, to my core, nervous and like I was missing something. Apart of me. Or unnatural.  I always felt like something was missing. Now I feel complete and whole and comfortable and happy. Really happy and organic. Sometimes I feel a warm and fuzzy feeling and it's awesome. I don't think I ever felt warm and fuzzy on Adderall. EVER and fuck that. Life is too short to not feel warm and fuzzy and laugh and feel complete. It feels good to not feel guilty all the time. All of this makes me NEVER want to take Adderall again.

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I always felt like something was missing. Now I feel complete and whole and comfortable and happy. Really happy and organic. Sometimes I feel a warm and fuzzy feeling and it's awesome. I don't think I ever felt warm and fuzzy on Adderall. EVER and fuck that. Life is too short to not feel warm and fuzzy and laugh and feel complete. It feels good to not feel guilty all the time. All of this makes me NEVER want to take Adderall again.

 

"It feels good to not feel guilty all the time."

 

Yes! Exactly. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

3 O'clock in the morning...still on.  Two and a half hours of sleep?  That's fine!  Another adderall and the day is just as smooth as ever!  I do not miss that sick feeling from never getting enough sleep. 

 

This will be me tonight and I hate it. I have been buying xanax from a friend to help me sleep but I'm out of it now and I know I am going to have a long night of just tossing and turning in bed trying to fall asleep. I hate myself.

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"It's 5 o'clock in the morning. Reading shit on Wikipedia. Or compulsively watching porn. Or coming down with the help of external inputs. Or coming up with insane theories about existence which I think are brilliant but are really just my brain flirting with psychosis. Or ______________. My life on Adderall rulez!" REPEAT

 

I like T-Pain's version better (never thought I'd say that...)

 

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I couldn't sleep often because I never wanted that euphoric feeling to end. I was taking 120mg of adderall a day. I kept needing/wanting more and more of the shit!!! Towards the end of my adderall addiction I started Smoking weed every night which led to yet another addiction. I won't lie. I still think of adderall every day. Will this ever stop???

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