Doge Posted January 22, 2015 Report Share Posted January 22, 2015 A couple of weeks ago I made a post about relapses, frustrated at myself for failing to quit so many times (I have literally lost count of how many times I swore I would never touch the stuff again.) quit-once made a thorough reply full of advice and ways of thinking that I should adopt if I want to truly quit once and for all (thank you). Of course I relapsed again since then, and it is only the 3rd day since I quit. I really sincerely want this to be the real quit. But something has to be different than all the other times or I will just give in again. I feel like something truly is different because I distinctly remember walking out my front door a couple days ago (just having woke up from the crash) my whole body aching, sweat already coming down my forehead (it's winter...), and I smelled the fresh air outside and thought to myself, "as shitty as I feel right now, I'd take this over being high." I could say this because the feeling of being on meds was fresh enough in my mind that I could lucidly remember how *NOT* awesome it truly was. This epiphany is double-edged. On one hand I know 100% that I want to quit, but it is also a huge eye-opener on how addicted I truly am. If it wasn't even that good, yet I still desperately sought it out when a craving hit.....I just about called my "doctor" for another supply a few minutes ago, as I was already beginning to romanticize how great the little bastards made me feel. (JUST 3 days after I concluded to myself that I hate them 100%). Anyways I quickly came to this site to re-read about all the horrible unwanted pain I should damn well know I am going to endure, and I feel a bit more balanced out. My plan is that in an hour or so I will be eating snacks watching netflix and not tweaking out at my desk doing a million things at once, stressing about how long its going to take before I run out again. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAwesome Posted January 22, 2015 Report Share Posted January 22, 2015 Stay logged on if you have to. Read and re read the posts and remember! You can do this. I think you are awesome for continuing to try, and not just giving in to the draw for good. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mila490 Posted January 22, 2015 Report Share Posted January 22, 2015 The first few days/weeks/months are so hard because you are so DOWN compared to how high you were on Adderall. As others have written on here before, you can't run full speed like that forever; your body has to recover and balance itself again, so now you're experiencing the opposite of being high on Adderall. Remind yourself - and trust those of us who have gone through it - that this is temporary. If you keep relapsing, you're going to have to keep dealing with that horrible crash. Keep plugging away. Some days you just have to do everything you can to not go back to the drug (even if that means constantly snacking, drinking tons of caffeine, and Netflix binging). As time goes on, you'll feel better and accomplish other goals throughout your day. But for the time being, your main accomplishment each day will be the fact that you didn't take that pill. I've found it really helpful to keep a list of all the cons of Adderall. I also found it helpful to check off each day clean and keep a count (167 days!). I've worked too hard to give up and have to start over from day 1 again. Hang in there! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.