blakery123 Posted February 14, 2015 Report Share Posted February 14, 2015 I see so many posts about life improving over the course of a few years after adderall, but can anyone here say they have completely gotten back to normal? I quit about 2 months ago and have been seriously feeling the side effects. I want to know if my passion will return unabated at some point. Also, are there truly permanent side effects that never go away? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IFIHADKNOWN Posted February 15, 2015 Report Share Posted February 15, 2015 I think that is a great question. I have a six-month adderall free anniversary coming up. I used to feel that if I made it to six-months, that was a major milestone. I was not an extremely heavy user (45 mg per day) and was on Addy for about 18 months. Yet, six-months in I am still really struggling with fatigue, motivation and irritability. Thankfully this forum has many great multi-year members who willingly provide guidance. Yet, I frequently read about the recovery spreading into years 2 and 3 and beyond. For a person at the six-month point this can be a hard fact to hear. Does this mean that even a year from now I will still be feeling notable negative symptoms (if it does, it does - life is not always fair or easy). Alternatively, if it means that after say "one-year" you may be at 90 percent and that the last 10 percent will come over an extended period of time, that is obviously an easier fact. Like blakery123 I don't think I have ever read anyone say they feel "fully recovered" even after many years. Does that mean that some damage is permanent? Although I have not read anyone say they are "fully recovered", I have read many say the quality of their life is the best it has even been (even as compared to pre-Addy). It can be hard to understand this contradiction. Any thoughts would be helpful - as you can probably tell, I am trying to keep my chin-up as I personally expected to be further along at this point. Thanks and good question blakery123. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blakery123 Posted February 15, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 15, 2015 Awesome post, thank you, It seems like I can hope for happiness again but I am mainly concerned about my intellectual efficacy. I did well in school before adderall and did well while on it, but in these past few months, I have completely fell off the band wagon. I feel like I no longer have ideas! Another huge issue is that I can hardly hold a conversation with people as well. I seem to have lost the ability to stay on topic. My brain will jump around incessantly and it absolutely shows to the person I am talking with. It's difficult to describe. It's as if, for some funny reason, I think and say random things without deciding if I agree with the statements or not. It's completely capricious and feels like the essence of stupidity. Generally, my ability to be eloquent has completely gone away. Has anyone experience this? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted February 15, 2015 Report Share Posted February 15, 2015 I think a new normal is what I've found. I'm a very different dude. Adderall forever changed me. In recovery I am forced to rebuild my life. I do feel like things are getting back to normal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blakery123 Posted February 15, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 15, 2015 Can you describe your 'new' normal? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blakery123 Posted February 15, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 15, 2015 By the way, I haven't seen any recent posts from the admin Mike. Does anyone know what his story is? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassie Posted February 15, 2015 Report Share Posted February 15, 2015 I feel back to normal after 3 years, but I used for 5 years which is quite a long time. It's easier to see your progress over years rather than months. Sounds scary to a newbie, but once you get to a year sober time just flies by, as opposed to the really slow first 6 months/year sober. You don't have permanent brain damage, it just takes a long time to repair. I personally think you need to give it as much time as you were on the drug. Think of brain repair like weight loss. If you gained 50 pounds in a year, you wouldn't expect to be able to lose it in a month, would you? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IFIHADKNOWN Posted February 15, 2015 Report Share Posted February 15, 2015 Thanks Cassie - your comments were very comforting to hear! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idontcare Posted February 15, 2015 Report Share Posted February 15, 2015 "If you gained 50 pounds in a year, you wouldn't expect to be able to lose it in a month, would you?" Without speed, no haha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAwesome Posted February 16, 2015 Report Share Posted February 16, 2015 I quit smoking 18 years ago. I just remember craving and thinking about it everyday. Then, I just didn't anymore. I can't wait to feel motivated and excited about my day, but at least I am not craving the adderall high anymore. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted February 17, 2015 Report Share Posted February 17, 2015 Can you describe your 'new' normal? I am more patient with myself and others. I am careful where and with who I invest my ambition and energy. I struggle with depression. In that place I've found peace with God and learned to live in my own head. A bad day when I'm feeling really crazy can be solved on a tread mill or doing some stairs. The depression is what I still struggle with now maybe more so today. My new normal is all a bout routine and self care. Quitting smoking had a massive positive impact on the level of my depression. Even on my worst days I am really just a 5 /10 and I have many many good days. My good days are not the manically amazing days where I was super happy which always followed with a mega crash. Things sustain. Depression was a factor when I was younger before adderall, ritalin and concerta. I still have a lot to work on but It is so much better than the first year. I've managed to break some of the isolation and I am out of bed and in the world, I even went on a date. I'm really trying now to visualize what I want in life, business and love. I still feel wobbly, awkward and it takes me a long time to complete things. But I am completing projects, complex projects that require all of me and then some. I listen to a lot of self help materials motivational speakers mostly. Just stuff I find on you-tube. This CBT helps and I think it will have an enormous impact long term. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted February 17, 2015 Report Share Posted February 17, 2015 By the way, I haven't seen any recent posts from the admin Mike. Does anyone know what his story is? Mike, myslef and Quitonce worked together on a major spam infestation around Christmas. He posts once and while but remains largely behind the scenes. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
senplate Posted February 22, 2015 Report Share Posted February 22, 2015 About 60 hours clean and am already free of the paranoid fear that folks are looking right through me and thinking "there is something not quite right about this dude". The insane thing is trying to unwind the paranoid thought from the truth inside the thought, i.e., you are right, on Adderall I will never be free of the amped person that is just plain weird When taking this crap. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blakery123 Posted February 22, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 22, 2015 60 hours is nothing man. You may be in for some rough times in the coming months. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinW Posted March 2, 2015 Report Share Posted March 2, 2015 At a little over 2 years things are definitely improved but I, like ZK, have learned to not be so hard on myself. You stumble and pick yourself back up and keep pressing forward. A clean life is worth the lows because they a REAL feelings not some pharmaceutical haze. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sepiroth Posted March 4, 2015 Report Share Posted March 4, 2015 I feel back to normal after 3 years, but I used for 5 years which is quite a long time. It's easier to see your progress over years rather than months. Sounds scary to a newbie, but once you get to a year sober time just flies by, as opposed to the really slow first 6 months/year sober. You don't have permanent brain damage, it just takes a long time to repair. I personally think you need to give it as much time as you were on the drug. Think of brain repair like weight loss. If you gained 50 pounds in a year, you wouldn't expect to be able to lose it in a month, would you? I totally agree with Cassie, it's easier to see your progress over years rather than months. It takes me 4 years to feel back to normal life. Yeah it is not that easy, it will take a lot of courage and determination to do it. I'm grateful that I've been helped by my therapist in Addiction Rehab Hope Treatment Center. He's the one who helps me to bring back my normal life, I really thank him a lot. I'm proud to say that I'm 6 years sober and clean now, I enjoy living free and happy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted March 4, 2015 Report Share Posted March 4, 2015 At a little over 2 years things are definitely improved but I, like ZK, have learned to not be so hard on myself. You stumble and pick yourself back up and keep pressing forward. A clean life is worth the lows because they a REAL feelings not some pharmaceutical haze. Oddly i'm proud of my failures now. Because they mean I tried, i'm pounding on my craft, my best is getting better. Rejection means you have to comeback. Fail! Give it everything you got! As long as you are moving forward, you are winning. Real highs real lows. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
better_morgan Posted March 21, 2015 Report Share Posted March 21, 2015 Senplate, I am glad you are feeling strong after 60 hours...hopefully you will keep this feeling. If things change come back to this forum...we are here to help and support. The withdrawal effect is different for everyone, so maybe you can be one of those few that recover more easily. For you I hope so!!!!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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