bouldergirl Posted February 17, 2015 Report Share Posted February 17, 2015 So a half hour ago I got a call from one of my prescribing doctors. A call that I knew was coming at some point. It had to. She told me that she checked my state's prescription database and saw my multiple adderall prescriptions/doctors. She wants me to come into her office tomorrow to sign releases so that she can talk to those doctors...no way. At the height of my addiction (pretty much all of last year), I had FOUR different doctors prescribing me adderall. I was taking about 240-300mg a day. I still do this amount, although I've been weening myself down slowly. I've got myself down to one doctor prescribing me. But I ran out early this month and tried to make an appointment with an old doctor and I guess she got suspicious. I'm not really afraid for what she's going to do...she can't talk to those doctors without a release from me and I don't plan on taking adderall anymore. It's ruined my life...it's made me spend money like crazy, act insane in dating relationships...it's just not worth it anymore. But I am so scared for the days when I don't take it...I literally have no motivation to do anything. Can someone please tell me that everything is going to be okay? That I'm not going to end up in prison? That I WILL get my life back? I started taking adderall 10 years ago. I remember before that I was extremely motivated and organized and had my shit together. My first semester in college was my best. When I began taking adderall during my second semester of my freshman year, that's when things started to slide. I lied my ass off, could never meet deadlines, etc. I just want off of this roller coaster. I want my life back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted February 17, 2015 Report Share Posted February 17, 2015 if you have been selling Adderall I would avoid mentioning that. I would keep the appointment but be cautious of what the doctors intentions are. I don't know what the laws are in your area. Just be careful! I think you understand you need to get off Adderall and maybe this is the wake up call you need. Admitting to your doctor you have an addiction issue should be something you can do without fear of legal consequence. This meeting should be about your health. Sign nothing, be careful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bouldergirl Posted February 17, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 17, 2015 I've NEVER sold adderall. I've never even given pills away to friends or anything. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LILTEX41 Posted February 17, 2015 Report Share Posted February 17, 2015 Are you going to see the doctor tomorrow? I would stop taking them immediately and not go back for any ever again. I do know they are trying to crack down on medication abuse. My doctor had mentioned there was some law going into effect that would give pharmacies the ability to start tracking patients prescriptions just like you mentioned above. I imagine you could get in serious trouble if you got caught. So yes, let this be your wake up call and stop taking them immediately. I doubt they could do anything about your past, but they will probably bust you if you try and get a refill now that you are on alert. Come and post here and everyone will help you stay quit. This is a good place and you can do this. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAwesome Posted February 17, 2015 Report Share Posted February 17, 2015 ACA has new laws for prescribers. My doctor called and left a message for me to call so we could discuss the impact. I never called, because I decided to quit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bouldergirl Posted February 17, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 17, 2015 I'm definitely not going to see the doctor tomorrow nor am I ever filling a prescription again. I took my last adderall at 5pm today. And that's it. I know I can quit. I remember what I was like when I wasn't on it - I felt more like "me." I know for the next few days I'll be a little tired and more hungry than normal, but it's not unbearable. I just worry about my mental performance - I have so much going on right now and clients to attend to (I'm a freelance web designer). When I'm not on adderall I feel like just laying on the sofa and watching tv. Not building websites and doing the billions of other things I do on adderall. I always ask myself where do people get the energy to go to work, make things, take care of life, etc. without drugs like adderall??? Coffee seems like such child's play and yet you hear of so many people saying "I can't get started in the morning without my coffee." And I'm just thinking, lol, coffee? Ever tried adderall, that will really get you going!" I don't mean to make light of this situation at all, it's just that I don't know if I can ever get back to my super-productive self. And if that's the case then I'm ruined professionally and financially. Tomorrow is going to be a really scary day for me. I always knew this day was going to have to come. But I always thought I had more time to "prepare." 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAwesome Posted February 17, 2015 Report Share Posted February 17, 2015 It's best this way! You don't have an option of going back. That will be helpful. You are going to be miserable. It is not just the lazy, hungry times...it is the "I need to have it or I am going to lose everything!" that you have to deal with. Just know that you CAN do this. Give yourself some time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LILTEX41 Posted February 17, 2015 Report Share Posted February 17, 2015 You didn't really mention any of the consequences of negative effects from your adderall use. Did it harm you in any way? I'm just curious to see what your motivation is for stopping. Have you wanted to stop for a long time, but couldn't muster the ability to do so or are you just quitting because you're afraid of getting busted? Why do you want to quit? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAwesome Posted February 17, 2015 Report Share Posted February 17, 2015 "I still do this amount, although I've been weaning myself down slowly" seems contradictory. Are you still doing the same amount, or have you stepped down? I am concerned that you will turn to illegal means to get more Adderall when the withdrawal hits you hard. You need a strong support system to get through this. You have to tell all of your family and friends what you have been doing and that you have decided to quit. Accountability + lack of access = higher chance of success. That is my opinion anyway... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bouldergirl Posted February 17, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 17, 2015 Sorry I meant to say that while I still have days here and there where I do high amounts, for the most part, I am back to using my prescribed dosage and back down to only using one doctor for my prescription. I wouldn't do anything like buying it online or from someone on the streets. Way too risk adverse for that. Negatives from taking adderall? Mostly sweating all the time and not eating well at all. I also prefer to be left alone when I'm on meds. And then sometimes I feel like my heart is going to burst if I am physically exerting myself. This is no way to go through life. Here's the thing - I do have ADHD. So I am going to look into switching to a non-stimulant medication for it. But no more adderall or anything like it. For a long time I have known that I needed to change to a non-stimulant or titrate down to a much much lower dose of adderall. Because for nine years, I took adderall responsibly. But the last eight months I haven't. So I need to change course. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doge Posted February 17, 2015 Report Share Posted February 17, 2015 So glad you are joining us! You can succeed! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAwesome Posted February 17, 2015 Report Share Posted February 17, 2015 I still love that little guy!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mila490 Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 Here's the thing - I do have ADHD. So I am going to look into switching to a non-stimulant medication for it. But no more adderall or anything like it. For a long time I have known that I needed to change to a non-stimulant or titrate down to a much much lower dose of adderall. Because for nine years, I took adderall responsibly. But the last eight months I haven't. So I need to change course. I was also diagnosed with ADHD and believe that the way I function does match a lot of what I've read about ADHD. But you'll find that much of the discussion on these forums isn't about whether or not you have ADHD or a legit diagnosis. Many of us also took adderall responsibly and never abused it. That isn't the core issue either. The main issue for many of us is how unsustainable it is to take amphetamines. An important part in this journey for me was accepting that yes, I may have ADHD...and yes, Adderall may be "safe" and "helpful" to people who have ADHD....but it has an overall negative impact on my life. Period, end of story. I think you have to reach that point in order to fully recover, or else you'll always justify taking Adderall again when you're having a difficult time "because you have a real diagnosis and need a medicine to help you." Using the diagnosis as justification will just keep propelling you through this vicious cycle. You said it yourself - "This is no way to go through life." Welcome to the forums. You can do it! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted February 19, 2015 Report Share Posted February 19, 2015 ADHD is a difference in cognitive ability not a disorder. The practice of prescribing amphetamines to treat it is just crazy making 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LILTEX41 Posted February 27, 2015 Report Share Posted February 27, 2015 You got to watch this video. This guy explains add in a positive light and how to celebrate ADD and use it to your advantage. No need for drugs! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doge Posted March 6, 2015 Report Share Posted March 6, 2015 I don't know what I expected from this video. But by around the 28 minute mark I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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