Popular Post survived Posted March 15, 2015 Popular Post Report Share Posted March 15, 2015 Did anyone else isolate themselves on Adderall? I began to do this the second year on it onto the 4th year. I didn't like people on Adderall and everyone annoyed me or angered me. (Very different from my original personality) So I ended up secluding myself. I would go to some family or friend get togethers here and there but I always ended up leaving quickly. It was also difficult to socialize with my anxiety skyrocketed and constant stomach aches, racing heart, sweaty palms and all. Sitting there and relaxing at a get together was near impossible for me. Did anyone go through this kind of personality change or isolate themselves on Adderall? 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted March 15, 2015 Report Share Posted March 15, 2015 yes I really just wanted to be left alone to "work". Work involved pacing endlessly and smoking 1000's of cigarettes. I alienated every one. My personality completely changed and I lost my ability to just hang with people. Then when I quit I was too tired to engage with people socially. I think the thing I regret the most is destroying the relationship with my girlfriend, skipping out on events that were important to her because I was busy getting fucked up. At a certain point in my Adderall abuse I was just getting fucked up I wasn't even using it as performance enhancer. I ruined alot of relationships on Adderall and life doesn't wait for you to get better. In recovery I found myself very isolated my friends moved on in life with kids and jobs. Meeting new friends is hard. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
survived Posted March 15, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 15, 2015 Hi Zerokewl!, I can relate to your post very much. Now that I'm sober my friends have also all moved on with their lives and I am also in a place where I would have to make new friends and I feel like I kind of lost that ability. I don't remember how to! It's been so long. I'm currently learning how to socialize again! I think I'm still a bit awkward. At a certain point in my Adderall abuse I was just getting fucked up I wasn't even using it as performance enhancer. I got to this point as well. I remember getting high on it such as someone would drink liquor. I was so miserable, so depressed on it but anytime I felt my emotions come into play I would take another pill to "shut it up". I remember saying "I don't want to feel." It's so sad to feel that way. You're killing yourself but you're so hooked to these pills and refuse to stop. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doge Posted March 15, 2015 Report Share Posted March 15, 2015 Yeah I barely have any friends right now. I didn't really piss anyone off or destroy any relationships (because I didn't have many to begin with) but eventually people just gave up trying to hang out with me and stopped calling. I'm still friendly with them, but we've drifted apart. And it's not as easy to repair those friendships as I would have thought before.Others have said it like this before me but I'm working on trying to look on the bright side. It's a chance to start new, as hard as that may be. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted March 15, 2015 Report Share Posted March 15, 2015 it is not all bad. I am meeting new people. I don't rely on people to do things anymore, I have no issue going to the movies by myself or coffee alone anymore. I am less afraid to strike up a conversation with people or go to a meetup I've never been to. Post adderall I need people more than ever, I can't work endlessly on a project without some social breaks. I just went for brunch with someone and I feel like I refilled my social interaction tank for about a week. On adderall I just wanted to be left alone and thats what happened. Finding new friends is possible. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAwesome Posted March 18, 2015 Report Share Posted March 18, 2015 I remember sitting in a corner, reading a book, checking my phone...anything to avoid talking to people. The reason I didn't want to talk was how I couldn't pull words out of my brain. I also had a hard time with eye contact. I was soooo twitchy. Glad that is over and I can be the life of the party if I want to be. I don't want to be at parties right now, but I enjoy hanging with coworkers in the break room. It is nice to be on the road to recovery... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
survived Posted March 19, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 19, 2015 @AlwaysAwesome; I can so relate to you! Yes, anything to avoid speaking to people! Feeling jittery and anxious, refusal to make eye contact! Okay so happy to read I wasn't the only one with strange behavior. I remember feeling like I were speaking slow, not sure If I really was. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doge Posted March 20, 2015 Report Share Posted March 20, 2015 I remember feelings of bitterness and resentment towards people that invited me to do things. HOW DARE THEY. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
better_morgan Posted March 21, 2015 Report Share Posted March 21, 2015 This is a feeling that I can relate too. Family gatherings....make a cameo appearance and leave. Just wanted to run as soon as I walked through the door. Forced to eat at a sit down dinner for the holidays...when would the dessert be ready, so I can leave! It does get better with time and staying off Adderral. I needed to rediscover who I am..am I a different person all together, can I find my old self back, or a combination of new and old??? Its a work in progress. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mila490 Posted March 23, 2015 Report Share Posted March 23, 2015 I can 100% relate. I was so engrossed in color coding my spreadsheets that I barely socialized with my coworkers. I found that this has spilled over to my work life now 7+ months clean. I'd rather stare at my computer screen and ignore any attempts at being social. I pat myself on the back for mini improvements that still feel so unnatural. The stiff corporate environment doesn't help, but I'm changing careers in a few months soon so that should help. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LILTEX41 Posted March 24, 2015 Report Share Posted March 24, 2015 Yes, this was exactly what I experienced. It was horrible looking back on it. I am glad to be clean today. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomas Posted June 16, 2015 Report Share Posted June 16, 2015 Has anyone gone back and contacted old friends, college buddies etc. And explained to them why they isolated and try to resurrect / repair the relationship. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I lost a lot of good friends over the years. Mainly college and early years after college. I go on facebook and see that many of my friends are still tight/ communicating and it breaks my heart. A slow fade over time, and now looking back it was me that drifted out of contact. I guess what I'm asking is , how do you go about reconnecting after so many years. Somehow I became socially awkward and that's not like me at all. I wonder if I should come clean with some of these guys, let them Know what happened to me and that I'm clean now. I really became a ghost and disappeared. Missed reunions , get togethers, weddings efc. I wish I could rebuild a lot of these relationships but I fear it may be too late. Too much time has passed. Around ten years. Just wanted some outside opinion I guess. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
survived Posted June 16, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 16, 2015 @thomas ; I am still going through the same thing. I had a close group of friends...I also missed a lot of their events. I'm a year off now and I still haven't reconnected with them because they are also busy with their current lives.. I have also thought of telling them about my experience but I don't think that would fix anything at this point for me. (It's incredibly personal and I don't think they will relate anyway?) I feel that the "Adderall you" becomes you for so long that people tend to forget what you were like. This is incredibly heartbreaking and I can completely relate. I often too feel sad about it. I have currently chosen to bond and strengthen the relationships with all the people closest to me and around me first. I feel that the people closest to you who never left are the most important. When you feel you are ready perhaps you can contact one friend first and have a one on one get together with them and maybe you can go from there? Maybe someone else will have some good insight for us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAwesome Posted June 16, 2015 Report Share Posted June 16, 2015 The day I posted my story on this site, I also posted it on Facebook. I told everyone, all at once. The support was great and it felt good to stop hiding. Now they all understood why I was a wonder woman who could constantly eat pints of icecream and never get fat. I was determined to not go back...so I burned the Adderall bridge. I recently saw my old boss at a funeral service, and I could not bring myself to talk to her. I am still not sure if I was the reason she was so horrible to me. I can't really make sense of how she treated me and the things which were said can't be unsaid. I think that relationship is beyond repair. I have currently chosen to bond and strengthen the relationships with all the people closest to me and around me first. I feel that the people closest to you who never left are the most important. When you feel you are ready perhaps you can contact one friend first and have a one on one get together with them and maybe you can go from there? I agree with Survived... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catw66 Posted June 24, 2015 Report Share Posted June 24, 2015 Oh, yes. In fact, my isolation has increased severely this second time of being on it. I was very isolated the three years I was on it as well. When I got off of it, I realized that it had been the Adderall that made me anti-social after a while. Your post just reminded me that this is probably why, not a few months after getting back on it, that my social life started to dwindle down to nearly nothing again. And yes, people annoying me, though some of them for a good reason. But I was more able to tolerate them when I was not on Adderall. Anyway, I hope thigns are getting better for you. It sounds like you have a good plan in place. But thanks so much for reminding me how isolated I really got. I was more social and more open to meeting people when I was off of this for two years. And now that I got back on and am getting off after six months, I truly have lost my energy and motivation for many extra-curricular social things. I didn't realize it was happening again slowly but surely. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nouedis Posted June 25, 2015 Report Share Posted June 25, 2015 I've done that and I still do that to this point. I get irked by people on a daily basis and I isolate myself from them as much as possible. It's so bad (or good, depending how you see it) that whenever I go to the mall, I've an anxiety attack. Oh, I forgot to mention, I've been clean off of adderall since 2007. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catw66 Posted July 5, 2015 Report Share Posted July 5, 2015 I am in the middle of a taper off of Adderall which is already having its own withdrawal effects. I have been so depressed and tired. Yesterday, I forced myself out to a July 4th party at a friend's house. I did pretty well talking to just about anyone. The most interesting conversation I had was with another woman who is also an introvert and had me pegged after a while. We had a good laugh about both her and I not wanting to go on with everyone else to see fireworks. I also found myself having a hard time sitting still and relaxing, even though I was feeling pretty beat up physically. I remember going through withdrawal during a taper last time I quit and being barely able to talk to anyone at times. I am trying to be gentle with myself. I am really quite disappointed because I have less than two months where I am and I wanted to be more social while I was here. But I recounted in my mind how I ended up back on Adderall and why and I just decided to cut myself some slack and learn from this experience. I will never move to a place again or spend significant time in a place that doesn't have powerful amounts of sunlight. I will never use Adderall here and there for energy when I have to push through something, for this led to me realizing it helped with seasonal affetive disorder, getting an Rx for it, and ending up even more depressed and lethargic by the time summer hit. But back to isolation. I am just accepting that this is where I am. I am an introvert as is and I don't need tons of social interaction like other people, but being so depressed has me feeling tired of all my alone time. So I am making a point to go be around people every other day in some fashion or another - even if I just go to a coffee shop and sit where other people are. Talking on the phone with old friends helps a little as well. It's good to know, though, that I am not alone in this and that this is a valid reason why I've been isolating more - Adderall! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carock84 Posted July 6, 2015 Report Share Posted July 6, 2015 I have experienced this many many of times while I'm on my Vyvanse. When I go two weeks without it though I am way more layed back and actually enjoy socializing with people. I cant wait to kick this habit and actually enjoy my life again. I'm excited for a rebirth and being myself instead of sooo moody and irritable around people who love me. Work people irk me the most and last Thursday I snapped kinda and that scared me a bit. People could sense so much tension just by looking at me that people stayed away from me and I didn't give one shit about it but when I got home I felt ashamed. I don't want to be like that because I am soooo outgoing and have the biggest sense of humor. Im on my way though and Im not really scared about it because like I said in my story Ive been there with the whole Adderall addiction really bad times in my life and with kicking the vyvanse now I am more prepared this time because I don't abuse it at all really. Glad I found this site and we are all lucky to get ourselves back to where we need to be. MUCH LOVE! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nouedis Posted July 8, 2015 Report Share Posted July 8, 2015 I would always isolate myself because I liked being by myself after being on adderall. I don't know. Everyone is different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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