Help Me Please

[Beautiful Disaster </3]

Alright guys, I'm almost at the 4 week mark. Here is the shortened version of my story:

Been on it for five years... Tried to quit multiple times but only for about a week at a time MAX. 26 year old female. Started abusing it within the first year I took it. Normally took about 80mg a day. Rarely took any days off (if I did I'd be "taking a day off" by only taking 20mg).

Anyway, I feel like I am hitting a wall. The first two weeks for some reason I felt okay. Maybe because I could feel my sense of humor coming back and I just felt generally (usually) happy. The last two weeks I have been a complete slug. I can't explain to you how little energy I've had. I'm not doing anything different from the first two weeks but I feel like Ive really hit a wall. It's negatively affecting my job performance and my personal relationships.... Help meeeeeee :'( all I want to do is lay around and sleep.

[AlwaysAwesome]

Sounds about right to me.  Sorry, but that is the way recovery from this drug goes.  Get plenty of sleep, caffeine, and exercise (well...try to exercise).   You can get through this!  I know it isn't much help, but this seems pretty normal from my experience.  You will hit a few more walls in the coming months.  After about 9 months, the walls stayed out of my way.   

[Cassie]

Sounds normal. Months 2-4 were the worst of withdrawal for me. Reversing a 5 year habit takes a lot of time. First year sober won't be a picnic,

[Beautiful Disaster </3]

Thanks for the words of encouragement or at least making me feel normal. I did manage to go to the gym today (only did 30 mins on the stationary bike but it's better than nothing). My biggest struggle is that I'm in a new-ish relationship (a few months) but I love him tons and we are completely open and honest with each other. I've been in quite a few relationships and this one is the real deal and we both know it (when you know you know). ANYWAY, he doesn't understand what I'm going through and I wish he understood how it is an accomplishment for me to just get out of bed and do every day normal things. Can anyone direct me to some helpful info/resources for him? The only thing I haven't been honest with him about is how I was abusing it ( he thinks I was just taking my normal 40mg/day).

I also am struggling with an eating disorder (had bulimia prior to taking adderall, and any time I've quit it has come back in full force...) I have a really hard time being okay with gaining weight and I've already gained 10lbs so idk how to be okay with the weight gain but I guess that's something I'm just going to have to come to terms with. That's another area my bf doesn't exactly understand- he's like "just go work out- you'll have more energy" which I totally agree with. It's definitely easier said than done though...

I guess I'm just feeling discouraged today and unsure why I would quit in the first place so any encouragement is much appreciated. Thank you to those who responded. Xoxo

[Doge]

So awesome that you quit for 1 month already!  Congratulations!  For me, the second month was the worst but things started getting drastically better during the third month.  Don't get discouraged, you will still get a LOT better than you are right now.

 

Promise!

[AlwaysAwesome]

On the articles page, there is a great article for friends and family (nonusers).  It is called "How to help a friend quit Adderall".  I had my husband and a couple of coworkers read it.  At first, they were like "okay, whatever".  But they soon saw the side effects of quitting. My coworkers never knew me before Adderall, but my husband did.  He has been instrumental in reminding me of how things were "before".  Have your boyfriend read that article.  It may help a little.