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My Journey -- Updated - Almost 3 months sober!


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I almost relapsed. I was so close. But before I made the call I reminded myself of all my progress, and I was finally strong enough to say no. The reason why I almost relapsed is because I had to face so many fears that have to do with my social anxiety.

 

Since my last prescription of Adderall, which was June 18, 2014 I gained almost 60 pounds. This past weekend I was in my sisters wedding as a bridesmaid! The wedding was incredible and the night actually turned out really well. But the day before I left I almost relapsed cuz I was terrified of all my friends and family seeing how fat I got. My boyfriend keeps reminding me that i'm not "fat" i'm SOBER. and that is the most beautiful thing a girl can be :) I love it when he says those things... but I am starting to go to the gym and get healthy again. But I am SOO glad I didn't relapse. I pushed aside all my worries and fears and just spent the weekend being happy for my sister marrying the man of her dreams. Of course I won't enjoy looking at the pictures. But my boyfriend is right, I'm getting sober and that's something my family might not understand, but it is the best thing to ever happen to me.

 

Also the dealer that I had got BUSTED for dealing meth and amphetamines. Seeing things like that is kind of another realization that even though i'm only three months into my journey, i'm so much farther along than I ever thought i'd be. 

 

Thank you guys for being there for me and having a place I can go to when I feel worried. I can't talk to my boyfriend about everything, but when I do he usually does his best to help. Each day that goes by I can tell he trusts me a little bit more. 

 

Quitting was the best thing i've ever done. 

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