CatsAreBetterThanDrugs Posted July 2, 2015 Report Share Posted July 2, 2015 This is the longest i've been without adderall for over 5 years. I am so completely proud of myself! My energy is back, my happiness is back, my self confidence is back... of course there are things that aren't back yet, and also some things that have changed negatively. But if there's one thing i've learned since i quit is that yes... there will be negative things. But I just need to focus on the positive and get by one day at a time. My boyfriend is being a dick though.... I told him how happy I was for myself that i've gone three months. and all he says is "we've been there before".... funny thing is, is that NO we have not been there. I've never gone this long sober. We've been through one month sober together then I relapsed. But this time it is THREE months and then he says that??? Ugh. He showed absolutely no happiness for me what so ever, and isn't even proud of me at all. But the coolest part about not being dependent on a chemical anymore, is learning that I don't have to be dependent on a man anymore either... Yes I love him and he is my boyfriend. but I don't need his validation to be proud of my own success. Such a roller coaster of emotions today, but I'm so glad to say I actually am 3 months clean! Soon it will be 4, then 6, then a year!! And that's all this girl needs to survive! Is knowing that i'm strong enough now. and also... i'm good enough!! The bravest thing a girl can do is leave with nothing and know that she'll always be okay... I wrote that in my notes when I was waiting in the car while he ran into the bank. Right after I told him about my three months... I don't think he knows how much he hurt me, but I don't need him to take care of me. Thank you guys for being there! Seriously if I didn't have a place to write any of this I probably would relapse by now. But knowing i'm not the only one is the best thing ever. Thank you guys!! Love you lots <3 -Emily 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doge Posted July 2, 2015 Report Share Posted July 2, 2015 Congratulations! Sorry your boyfriend isn't being as supportive as he could be. But it could be a lot worse. It sounds like he's at least understanding and never left your side throughout this ordeal. It must also be very frustrating for significant others of addicts. All of my relapses over the past years kind of are just blurred together into foggy memories and only my last and final quit stands out lucidly in my memory. But if I had a girlfriend by my side the entire time getting emotionally invested in every single time I said I was done, I'm sure she would not forget all those failed quits, and it would be hard for her to understand why this one is different. Anyways, I don't know your guys' history, but I'm just trying to shed some positivity and another possible perspective on the situation. Either way it doesn't change the fact that you are doing fantastic. Congratulations again! Do something nice for your self today! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatsAreBetterThanDrugs Posted July 2, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 2, 2015 That is really good insight. I'm really glad you said that. I feel the same way about my relapses, it all is kind of a big blur. Thank you for that I really needed that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAwesome Posted July 6, 2015 Report Share Posted July 6, 2015 My husband got more supportive as the months went by and it really looked like I was going to stick with it. Remember, you are still going to be a little sensitive regarding your addiction and recovery. He can't understand... Great Job! I am super proud of you! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nouedis Posted July 8, 2015 Report Share Posted July 8, 2015 Congratulations buddy! I'm so proud of you as I'm sure everyone else is, too! Hope you keep the progress continuing. May the force be with you, Young Padawan! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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