Doge Posted September 18, 2015 Report Share Posted September 18, 2015 We all are trying to make an effort to make posts even when we aren't feeling great, to give the newbies a more accurate depiction of what later recovery looks like. I'm chiming in here. I feel really sad today. Yesterday was terrible for me and I had a few small little tiny innocent accidents which are going to end up being a devastating financial setback for me. It is really hard for me to stay positive and keep looking forward; and I have been thinking about pills a LOT yesterday and today. But I'm just going to put those thoughts away and just keep grinding away and hope that this is just a sign that in a couple weeks I'll be feeling really good. Doge out. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clinx Posted September 19, 2015 Report Share Posted September 19, 2015 Glad you're posting. I'm sorry you're sad. I get those days, too. I actually took out a notecard today and started writing all of the reasons why I don't want to go back to adderall. The list kept growing and so did my positivity. Try to calm down about the financial situation and just take care of things step by tiny step. That's all we can do sometimes. Hang in there!! These days will pass and you will keep moving forward! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doge Posted September 19, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 19, 2015 Thanks clinx! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeHereNow Posted September 21, 2015 Report Share Posted September 21, 2015 Thank you for sharing Doge. I'm sorry to hear you're going through all that. It's also refreshing actually to see that I'm not the only one who's sad. I'm sorry to hear about those financial setbacks. Ugh, sometimes I just hate money and the way it imprisons people. Do you mind if I join in the sad party? I've been super depressed these past few days. I just don't want to do anything but lay in bed, sleep, and cry. It takes everything I have just to go to work, or even just to go for a walk. I feel completely lonely and isolated and unloved. Things worse than my worst nightmares have happened to me in the past 2-3 years. I feel like I have so much love to give, and I just keep on getting burned and betrayed. Backstory, I lost my Mom suddenly almost a year ago. My therapist told me this is considered a "traumatic loss" because it was very sudden and well before her time. The anniversary of the last time I ever saw her already just passed. My best friend, mentor, cheerleader. I just miss her so much. I miss chatting and laughing with her, I miss her face and her voice, I miss her attitude and approach to life, I miss how we were always there for each other. I have no family anymore. And I am trying to accept that nobody will ever love me the way my mom did ever again. I'm under so much grad school stress with deadlines. Sometimes I think about pills, but mainly I don't want that kind of stimulation anymore. Is that a sign of how bad it is? I'm too depressed to even want them. I just want to sleep all day. How the fuck am I supposed to accomplish all of this? I am a week late now on this draft I have to hand in and I've had such bad anxiety about it, I haven't even been able to bring myself to send it to my advisor. Grad school is ridiculous. But, it's time for me to force myself out of bed and get to work and pretend to be confident and enthusiastic. Maybe I should take an acting class? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeHereNow Posted September 21, 2015 Report Share Posted September 21, 2015 At least we can take comfort in the fact that no matter where you are or what the weather, it's always beautiful outside. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doge Posted September 21, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 21, 2015 I'm really sorry about your Mother. That is indeed a traumatic loss. I have nothing to offer you on this note but I will be wishing you my very best as you get through it. My best friend, mentor, cheerleader. I just miss her so much. I miss chatting and laughing with her, I miss her face and her voice, I miss her attitude and approach to life, I miss how we were always there for each other. Your mother must have been truly wonderful to make you miss her so much in all those ways. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAwesome Posted September 21, 2015 Report Share Posted September 21, 2015 I like the acting class idea. My dad was in the Navy while I was growing up and we moved every 2 1/2 - 3 years. I had to act like I wasn't miserable. I had to act like I was happy. I had to act like the people I was around. I have been acting all my life... But, you know what? The more you act happy, the happier you are. You kind of forget when you stopped acting. Try sounding mean while you are smiling. it is almost impossible! Add a smile, and fake on!! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catw66 Posted October 16, 2015 Report Share Posted October 16, 2015 I am trying to be upbeat and positive as possible when I am having a bad day - at least on the outside. Some days I can't really get myself going unless I have to for work stuff. Otherwise, I feel overwhelmed and alone a lot. Either anxious or down. But, I love the idea of just doing tiny things. I have some debt I need to tackle before it gets more expensive and I'm just finding practical matters sort of elusive lately. But I do what I can and do a little very day past what I think I can stand and I see things slowly shaping up around me. All we can do.... Hang in there! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doge Posted October 17, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2015 how are you feeling lately cat? It's been a week or so since you finally shrugged off the last 2.5mg? or am I off... just throwing this out there, 5-HTP is amazing for making yourself feel better (helps you produce more seratonin and melatonin) and you can easily start and stop taking it at any time. I've had a wonderfully positive experience with it on my crappy days, then when I am having a good day naturally I just forget about it and it sits there for weeks. I don't think it's habit forming at all - that being said I'm pretty new to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAwesome Posted March 23, 2016 Report Share Posted March 23, 2016 Here is another one! Yes, we definitely need a "don't sugar coat the quit" string. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyper_critical Posted March 23, 2016 Report Share Posted March 23, 2016 I've posted a couple times when I was really going through it, and got phenomenal feedback. Don't know if I would've gotten through those periods without it. I've got this thread printed out in a desk drawer at work: http://forum.quittingadderall.com/topic/2487-out-of-nowhere-like-a-freight-train/?hl=%2Bfreight+%2Btrain 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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