forgetting words, losing thoughts

[SleepyStupid]

has anyone gone through this? I feel like in normal conversation now, I cant find the right words to finish sentences or convey my meaning.. im a writer and have always had a certain eloquence and good vocabulary..

granted I've only been off a few weeks but im a binge user and two three weeks off isnt usually too hard on me. this is a bit scary

[Cassie]

Yes, I think everyone feels awkward socially and conversationally after quitting adderall. It's a normal side effect.

[SleepyStupid]

i hope so.. it doesn't feel like social awkwardness. it feels more like struggling to retrieve words that would have naturally come to me. i feel slower. 

[BeHereNow]

It's okay.  I felt slower in the first 6 months or so.  And people DID notice at first.   I got a LOT of work feedback asking me to speed things up! 

 

This is also a symptom of anxiety and depression apparently.  It's one of the questions I always have to answer when I see my psychiatrist-- whether I move/speak either too quickly or too slowly.  At this point, it's always a no. 

 

You'll be back.  But you have to keep on staying clean if you want your vocabulary and command of language to return full force-- in fact, I would be willing to bet you'll be even better than before

 

I'm a writer and a teacher and you know what?  Sometimes we ALL struggle to find the right words.  That's just how language works!    Pausing while speaking or writing is OK!!    In fact it can work to your advantage! 

 

You are rebuilding neural connections and stuff.  Hang in there!

[Doge]

When you were still using, during the weeks that followed your binges, did you socialize less?  I'm betting you experienced the same thing then but just didn't notice as much since you were looking forward to your pills, and those thoughts dominated your mind against little insecurities like this.

 

I may be projecting, but this is how I feel about myself looking back now.

 

Your eloquence will return.  Your brain just has to heal.  You will be better than ever in time I promise!

[SleepyStupid]

thanks everyone! i think ive always been a naturally fast speaker- ive also rewatched some webinars and training sessions i had while i was geeked out on speed, i could hear myself trying to slow down lol. 

 

@doge, absolutely. socializing went to 0, even online chatting! that's a very fair point, i had no desire to socialize so just shuffled through the weeks thereby avoiding situations where id struggle to communicate. 

 

...maybe also it was some nervousness, i may have noticed a bit more while i was on a date >_<   but its been going great! i think this girl is going to keep me on track without even knowing it. ive caused enough misery and heartache in the past because of my addiction- i never want to put someone through that ever again.

[catw66]

Yes!! I consider this part of the dopamine/attention span regulation problem we are now trying to heal. I have left my keys and my purse places. Have a hard time tracking conversations, finding the right things to say at times - zoning out and such.

 

I find that when my brain feels fogged and a little anxious at the same time, it is hard to be present and follow conversaions, so that by the time I respond, my brain has already done too much work. I feel like sometimes I say something and it comes off strange to me - as if I didn't just say it.

[Doge]

 

I feel like sometimes I say something and it comes off strange to me - as if I didn't just say it.

 

thats why i love this comic, lol

[SleepyStupid]

^ that comic is fucking brilliant hahahaha

[Doge]

[Adderallics Anonymous]

I am absolutely in this stage of quitting right now.

38 days in and my energy is already picking up,

but words don't come to my head like i want them to in conversation with people.

My desire to be social seems less now, than it was in the first few weeks, which is strange.

Thankfully, it sounds like this is a temporary thing...any estimation on when my social skills/social desire might return?

[SleepyStupid]

yes, this is exactly what i went through. just wanted to open with a recent example of this: we were at my friend's house playing magic the gathering (woot!), and he had bought a digital scale to weight stacks of cards rather than counting (it works). i started to tell this story to another friend there, and i literally could not retrieve the word "digital scale". i was under no anxiety or pressure or anything, i just blanked out. im aware that this can happen to anyone, but its the frequency of this that alarms me. 

 

 its hard to remember back to undergrad, 10 years ago, but i remember myself being pretty outgoing and well spoken before adderall ever existed for me. this is also of course subject to recall bias (what we recall from our memories may not be accurate). 60 days out im not so bad in social situations, but 

 

unfortunately, we probably were all better speakers on adderall- im not sure whether its because of reduced social anxiety or what but i have recorded sales demonstrations of myself on adderall and im a smooth criminal. now i find myself stuttering, flubbering, saying awkward things during banter.. even though most of these things ive said a billion times as a part of an internal sales script. this in turn causes me great anxiety about any sales meetings that end up on my plate (cause our dedicated sales person got laid off). im sure that anxiety and fear is probably the cause of this issue, but it generates more anxiety itself. 

[Cassie]

My social skills were very awkward for the first 6 months or so. It gradually returns to normal. I still noticed improvements in my social skills well into my 2nd year sober. It's just part of the recovery process.