cali.raider99 Posted November 23, 2015 Report Share Posted November 23, 2015 Hey guys, Anyone here deal with a spouse on adderall that abuses their script? My wife is on like 3 or 4, 5mgs pills a a day and she uses those up in about 2 weeks. Then the next 2 weeks are pure hell for me and the kid. She is just angry all the time. Lacks any patience with anything. Flips out at the drop of a hat, cries for no reason, just soul sucking depression. Blames me for everything wrong in her life. Hyper obsesses over her appearance. Talks horribly about herself. Worst part is that she believes that's it mine and the kid's fault (mainly mine) that she feels that way. One minute she loves me, apologizes for the hateful behavior and then two weeks later she is ready to divorce me. I didn't know for a long time, but now I pay attention to her pill use and can almost predict like clockwork when it's all coming apart. Anyone else deal with this or see/have these massive mood swings? just looking for some help or understanding here. I am really trying to understand, but I am at my wits end with this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SleepyStupid Posted November 23, 2015 Report Share Posted November 23, 2015 adderall abuse comes with HUGE mood swings, so this isnt anything uncommon. but beyond just the mood swings, it sounds like there could be an underlying depression or mental illness going on. how long has this been going on? also, when shes "on" for two weeks, have you tried talking to her about her mood swings? generally when we're high, we have a *much* more positive outlook on life, even if its slightly mostly artificial. it might be enough positive mood to actually have a meaningful conversation about this because it doesn't sound like she's in the right state of mind to have such a conversation off the drugs. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LILTEX41 Posted November 23, 2015 Report Share Posted November 23, 2015 Hey, I am listening to a really good podcast on Smart Recovery for family and friends. I think this could be helpful for your situation. Just click on the little button thing. http://ec.libsyn.com/p/d/c/c/dcce6d2937dfadab/Family_and_Friends_Meyers_Foote_March_2015_.mp3?d13a76d516d9dec20c3d276ce028ed5089ab1ce3dae902ea1d06cc8f34d0ce5cfd41&c_id=8678730 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msb1128 Posted November 28, 2015 Report Share Posted November 28, 2015 I've been that wife, especially on ritalin even more so than adderall, but the adderall has got to go too. I hate how it has affected my marriage. So your wife does not see that adderall plays any part in this or is not willing to admit it? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluemoon Posted November 29, 2015 Report Share Posted November 29, 2015 Yikes. That sounds exactly like how I treated my boyfriend when I was abusing Adderall. I agree that you need to have a conversation with her about this and let her know how you're feeling. Tell her you want your wife back. If she's going through her script in two weeks, she obviously has a problem. And once someone starts abusing Adderall, there really is no going back to using it "responsibly". (I know from experience). Hopefully she recognizes that it's a problem and wants to get better. The Adderall needs to go. It's pure evil. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cali.raider99 Posted November 30, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 30, 2015 I've been that wife, especially on ritalin even more so than adderall, but the adderall has got to go too. I hate how it has affected my marriage. So your wife does not see that adderall plays any part in this or is not willing to admit it? She understands to some degree, but not the severity of it. She feels likes the first couple of days are rough (if she uses too much and runs out early) but then she levels out. I know this not to be true. She has been on them for 3 years now and from what I've read, going cold turkey has weeks or months of potential side effects (not a day or two). When she is on them, it's almost like she feels so good that she believes herself to be better than everybody else, but then off it's just a self esteem crash. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cali.raider99 Posted November 30, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 30, 2015 Yikes. That sounds exactly like how I treated my boyfriend when I was abusing Adderall. I agree that you need to have a conversation with her about this and let her know how you're feeling. Tell her you want your wife back. If she's going through her script in two weeks, she obviously has a problem. And once someone starts abusing Adderall, there really is no going back to using it "responsibly". (I know from experience). Hopefully she recognizes that it's a problem and wants to get better. The Adderall needs to go. It's pure evil. I don't remember the timeline when she started using the stuff, but our "serious" problems started then. If we used to fight or have an argument, she would cry during or after or something. Now she doesn't cry about anything except when she is crashing and that is mainly becasue she's messing up something she wants to do. She doesn't seem to have any feelings towards me at all execept loathing. I've even tried to just tiptoe and not upset the balance, but it doesn't matter. And if I push backor retaliate against the nastiness, it just gets worse and uglier. If I happne to show any emotion at all (such as crying or vulnerabiltiy) she says that I'm too needy or that I have too many "feelings". If I back off and leave her alone, I'm accused of ignoring her. It's a vicious cycle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SleepyStupid Posted December 1, 2015 Report Share Posted December 1, 2015 here's a thought- perhaps you can approach this problem through marriage counseling? this way, you're not directly confronting or attributing your marital issues to adderall (which it likely is). ultimately, the drugs will become a topic during counseling but this way it gets tackled in a controlled environment? its not manipulative necessarily because these are genuinely marital issues- just changing your approach to addressing this thing in a healthy way. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluemoon Posted December 10, 2015 Report Share Posted December 10, 2015 here's a thought- perhaps you can approach this problem through marriage counseling? this way, you're not directly confronting or attributing your marital issues to adderall (which it likely is). ultimately, the drugs will become a topic during counseling but this way it gets tackled in a controlled environment? its not manipulative necessarily because these are genuinely marital issues- just changing your approach to addressing this thing in a healthy way. That's a great idea. This way, she won't feel it as an "attack" on her if she is not yet willing to admit that her Adderall addiction is a problem. It can just be something that happens to come up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dadof3finallyfree Posted December 10, 2015 Report Share Posted December 10, 2015 Im going thru the very exact same thing right now, same story and its been horrible but mine is ending in divorce at the end of January after 10 years of marriage and 3 little girls. My wife and I were crazy in love and still are but I'll never believe her again after the countless lies and evil things she has done. Shes even said how tormented she is by her actions and lies but she cant stop the adderrall. I pray for you both and hope yours does quit but its her call...Nothing you can do or say in my experince will effect her decisions. Threats of divorce probably wont touch it...I know...It has to be her decision. Every bad thing she has done is someoneelses fault an not her's, she has no empathy and it likes she is ok with her world crashing down all around from every aspect of life. She laughs it off but I see it in her eyes. Ive known her for 14 years...Shes tries to act like she is ok with it but has told me many times she isnt. As bad as it got i am finally ok with it all. Its not your doing and you need to learn that. I've never been into pills ever in my life and really didnt know much about Adderall until a year ago. I have read every article just about on this site, thousands of responses and insight and it saved my mind, soul, heart and future and my kids. Not just saying that... this site fixed me. I cant thank Mike enough for it! My wife had it all, huge house, nice car, money, 3 kids, friends and family, church and had it made. Since I asked her to leave which she was apparently fine with she has lost it all, her apartament, car, health insurance, dental, filed bankruptcy, family friends, etc... Doesnt go to school events or play with the kids. Shes asked to come home numerous times but I cant let that happen bc the lies are so crazy. Shes abusing adderall, alcohol and is now on Xanax for stress but says its bc of me...shes going into pyscosis, paranoia, she wont sleep, looks went way down hill, she started smoking, hangs out with drug addicts...you can see the hours she is happy and the hours she crashes. Learn those hours if you can and try to communicate with her when she seems to be reasonable most days and approachable. Usually mid morning. Dont argue or talk about heavy stuff at night. Im fine with it all now bc I know how to NOT to be co dependant. Hope you dont have to go that route of not caring anymore... but as all the great honest people on this site will tell you its up to her for the most part, she needs to want to quit... A friend gave me a book on co dependancy, cost 9 bucks on amazon... I so highly recommend it and I cant say it enough! it literally saved my mind and does every day. Im over her bullshit and have moved on in no time bc of it but you can use it to also help you and hopefully also save your marriage and family... codependency no more by Melody Beatie. You read one page a day.. thats it...start in the middle on whatever date you pick it up. Id send you a copy if I could its that good. http://www.amazon.com/Codependent-No-More-Controlling-Yourself/dp/0894864025/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1449772087&sr=8-1&keywords=codependency+no+more best of luck, I dont get on here everyday anymore but was addicted to this site and do when I get sad, if you need or want to hear more just let me know bc ampethamines are not sustainable and grows into a monster. My hats off to all these people for trying so hard and their honesty!!! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SleepyStupid Posted December 11, 2015 Report Share Posted December 11, 2015 ^this was really powerful. thank you for sharing. im sorry that it did not work out with your wife, unfortunately as youve probably read here, many people don't make the commitment to quit until they bottom out which is what her situation really is. i hope she doesn't wait till her life is in danger to do something about it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dadof3finallyfree Posted December 11, 2015 Report Share Posted December 11, 2015 Thanks Sleepy! That makes two of us, probably 5 with my kids vote... My 9 year old cant stand to be around her much anymore for longer than a few hours but even that doesnt phase her. Hardest part is watching from the side lines. Right before this fell apart in 2013 I found her in convulsions in our bathroom, I saw her stop breathing for a few seconds and thought she died righ there, called 911 and she snapped too when the medics came and she played it off that she hadnt been feeling good all week. The week before and after that were stereo typical binge behaviors. On top of it all she hid it soooooo well. I only found out the extent of it by sure luck looking at Insuance history...once my lawyer subpoena her 22 doctors/dentist and 13 pharmacies it all came out. She hadnt so much as stubbed a toe since Ive known her. We saw different pharamcies in the same day....Her excuse... she couldnt find a doc or dentist she liked...Denitsts were for opiads. To raider99 it may feel odd but do your investigative homework...snoop around...Adderall is too tough not too. In my experience theres more going on then you know. Hate to be a downer but I HATE Adderall... Theres fantastic awesome success stories on here all over the place, send her links to them if you can, so dont feel like its never to late. I wish you and your kid and your wife all the luck in the world! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluemoon Posted December 14, 2015 Report Share Posted December 14, 2015 I'm sorry that Adderall has ripped your guys' families apart. It's honestly just heartbreaking. I don't have a husband and children yet, so at least my addiction didn't destroy an entire family... But reading your stories just makes me hate Adderall even more than I already did. Wreaking havoc on one's own life is one thing.. but wreaking havoc on an entire family is absolutely heart-wrenching. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EstherEmily Posted January 29, 2016 Report Share Posted January 29, 2016 These posts are so helpful. Thanks to all for sharing. I quit three months ago when I found out I was pregnant, and reading posts like this will keep me away from Adderall forever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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