My husband- Advice please?

[carolinafan58]

My husband has been on adderall for about 5 years. Since he's been on it, I don't see him much. If he's not at work he's usually in his barn "tinkering" around. Fixing something, building something... whatever.  There are so many things just botteling up inside, I don't even know where to start. I'm sorry in advance.

 

1) Many days during the week he'll not sleep at all. He'll come home, go to the barn, stay up all night, go to work the next morning.  I get so worried about him. What ends up happening is that during the weekend his body shuts down and he just sleeps ALL weekend. I get infuriated because I stay at home ALL day with our three kids, and not only do I not have any help ALL week, I get ZERO help during the weekend because if he's not out in the barn, he's sleeping. There is NO family time.

 

2) I don't even know if he takes his normal dose anymore. I assume not, because he always seems to be out by the end of the month, which is the biggest issue because he's SO AWFUL. His mood is just so bad. He's been in the house for the past 4 days and I'm in tears because I just can't deal with his moodiness.He picks apart EVERYTHING I do. It's like two COMPLETELY different people that I'm dealing with, and I honestly don't know how to handle it anymore.  Is it normal for people to have severe mood swings when they are off their adderall?

 

I just don't know what to do anymore. 

[Doge]

Yes it is normal when they are on it and when they are coming off of it.

 

I wish there was something to say to help your situation but all I can do is confirm that what you are describing is indeed normal behaviour for a user.

 

I wish I knew how to help.  :<  

Please don't be sorry and post more if you have any questions!

[AlwaysAwesome]

Oh sweetie, I am so sorry you are going through this.  It is normal, albeit terrible, Adderall use behavior.  He needs to stop using, but he has to be the one to do it.  You can't make him.  Although, you can try to persuade him.  My stepfather says it isn't true that you can't make a horse drink after you lead him to water.  He says, if you hold his head under long enough, then he will drink or drown... see my point here?   There are things you can do and say to lead him in the direction of quitting, and you need to do those things.  He is damaging your family and your relationship.  He can't see it.  He probably thinks he is awesome and providing for the family.  He can't see it when he is on the Adderall, and he won't see it when he is off because he is just thinking of how it will be better when he gets his new prescription.  He may think he is hiding the addiction well.  Tell him what you see.  My best advice for dealing with most men is to state facts, leave emotion out of it, and don't cry.  Facts.  Cold and hard.  Throw an ultimatum in there if you feel so inclined.  But, he has to know that you know and it is damaging the family. 

 

Welcome to the site and be strong.  You can do this!