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I hope this gets better soon...


bluemoon

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5 1/2 months in. I had a good few days a few weeks ago, and I thought things were finally getting better, but I haven't had a good day in a while. I am really hoping this gets easier soon. My sleep has been really sucking. I wake up often during the night and I never ever feel rested. 

 

I'm still in a relationship that I am fairly certain I don't want to be in anymore. I have felt this way for a long time. I didn't break it off at the beginning of my quit because I was advised not to make any drastic life changes during such an emotional time. Am I far enough into my quit to make a decision like this? Or should I still be waiting until I'm more emotionally stable??

 

I've also been struggling to want to be around people whatsoever. I get invited to things all the time and I never ever go. Or if I do go, the whole time I'm there I just keep thinking to myself how much I wish I would have stayed home. I just want to be alone all the time. I want to want to have some sort of social life, but I just don't have it in me. I'm too tired. Just want to hang out with my dogs and nap, and nap some more.

 

God this year has sucked. And the few years prior to that sucked as well, because I was addicted to Adderall. Can this all just be over now please?? :(

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Before I quit, I spoke to the only friend I know of that has taken Adderall. I talked to her about how I wanted to quit for good but I was having trouble. She didn't really sympathize or understand, she said that she could stop whenever she wants to and that she's not addicted, that she just takes it as needed to focus on school or work. (She was the one who got me started on it in the first place. I was too tired to party one night and she gave me one of her Adderall. Then I suddenly felt great. She explained ADHD and I thought I must have it too, and went to her doctor and got my own script.)

 

Today, I found out she's 12 weeks pregnant. I'm happy for her, but I asked her how she was feeling. She said she felt GREAT, that she quit cold turkey and didn't have a problem with it at all. 

 

Is she being honest?? I find her words extremely discouraging. Why do I feel so shitty and I'm not even pregnant on top of quitting?? Lol

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Before I quit, I spoke to the only friend I know of that has taken Adderall. I talked to her about how I wanted to quit for good but I was having trouble. She didn't really sympathize or understand, she said that she could stop whenever she wants to and that she's not addicted, that she just takes it as needed to focus on school or work. (She was the one who got me started on it in the first place. I was too tired to party one night and she gave me one of her Adderall. Then I suddenly felt great. She explained ADHD and I thought I must have it too, and went to her doctor and got my own script.)

 

Today, I found out she's 12 weeks pregnant. I'm happy for her, but I asked her how she was feeling. She said she felt GREAT, that she quit cold turkey and didn't have a problem with it at all. 

 

Is she being honest?? I find her words extremely discouraging. Why do I feel so shitty and I'm not even pregnant on top of quitting?? Lol

I think she is being honest for everyone of us who should have never been on this stuff a handful it really does help. The people who actually need this medication can quit and most often don't really like being on it that much. For those people being on this makes them feel normal slowed down can focus. Those of us who should not be on it makes us feel buzzed and overly focused. My sons mom was on it and pretty much the same as your friend.

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I quit cold turkey when I found out I was pregnant, and I'll be honest - I had it much easier than you guys. I had no choice but to quit. The moment I saw that positive pregnancy test, a euphoric feeling came over me. I was going to be a mom! The choice to quit and stay sober has been easy.

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It's interesting how successful one's Quit can be when coupled to the coming and going of the people in their lives.  In your case, Elaina, it is all about beginning motherhood and the lifetime of responsibility that motherhood brings with it.  In my case, it was the death of my mother that helped bring about the substantial lifestyle changes needed to make my quit successful after the first serious attempt.  I have also read other's stories about spouses and significant others coming into and going away from their lives that made the Quit stick.

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They say you have to hit rock bottom to quit, but that's not always the case. I was actually taking less than I had in the past couple of years when I found out I was pregnant and quit. I went from 70 mgs in 2014 (yes, my doc actually prescribed such a dose) to 40 mgs in 2015. Two months before I quit I had switched to 70 mgs of Vyvanse, which is equal to about 30 mg of Adderall. I was improving, but still abusing... Taking two on some days when I had a big project at work and such. I was planning to quit after my wedding, but I got pregnant five months before I was to walk down the isle. It was the best accident ever! :)

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If u take like 30 mg or less, I'm sure u will have minor withdrawal symptoms. If u took like 60-80 mg a day, ur mind goes mad and u will feel like absolute shit. This drug is pretty dangerous. It helps a few, but it creates more harms than benefits. Now I constantly have mood and motivationago even after having quit 10 months ago.

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Before I quit, I spoke to the only friend I know of that has taken Adderall. I talked to her about how I wanted to quit for good but I was having trouble. She didn't really sympathize or understand, she said that she could stop whenever she wants to and that she's not addicted, that she just takes it as needed to focus on school or work. (She was the one who got me started on it in the first place. I was too tired to party one night and she gave me one of her Adderall. Then I suddenly felt great. She explained ADHD and I thought I must have it too, and went to her doctor and got my own script.)

Today, I found out she's 12 weeks pregnant. I'm happy for her, but I asked her how she was feeling. She said she felt GREAT, that she quit cold turkey and didn't have a problem with it at all.

Is she being honest?? I find her words extremely discouraging. Why do I feel so shitty and I'm not even pregnant on top of quitting?? Lol

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She probably can because she hasn't "crossed over". I have been taking 30 mg XR for ten years and right up until 2 years ago (before I started to go downhill), I was always able to cycle off for months no problem. Plus, if she I pregnant, it is an easier decision to make because it is more of a mental addiction. I quit cold turkey when I found out I was pregnant with my son years ago...not to mention the hormone may be stimulating her in a positive light. If she still feels "normal" she probably doesn't feel that desperation that we do to take an Adderall in order to feel "normal". I've only been able to make it two weeks before relapsing. This zombie feeling is horrific and it is easy to give in. Everyone just says to give it time. I hope they are right. Best thing to do is just dump any left over pills you might have.😕

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