Guilt Ridden

[bonesbuggie]

Hi Everyone,

I've been off Adderall for about 9 months and I'm doing fine, but before I quit I gave about 10, 20mg pills to a friend who was showing his film at a major film festival and I though he needed it to keep up. He was really overweight and low energy and needed an extra burst of energy to keep up with all the screenings/press stuff and parties for networking. He doesn't and has never suffered from ADD. Fast forward a year and he has become addicted to it, has lost about 120 pounds and has alienated most of his close friends, seriously compromised his relationship with his family and has burned bridges professionally. He is someone who has had panic disorder and narcissistic traits for as long as I've known him but both have become much worse since he started taking adderall. He also never shuts up and seems unaware that other people have their own lives to live. I won't abandon our friendship since I feel partly responsible for what is happening to him, but I'm not sure how to help him. I quit adderall because of the horrible side effects and I took a very low dose. He has asked me this week to help him, because, ironically he has become very scattered and can't seem to get his shit together and needs someone to help him get some stuff off his plate. I'm wondering from all of you if you have had symptoms like his where the drug backfires and makes you less organized? I'm also wondering if there is anything I can do to convince him that he is not a better version of himself that he seems to be convinced of. Does this happen to people who abuse adderall who don't suffer from ADD? Any general advice on how to move forward?

[Frank B]

If you gave it to him after you quit then you should feel guilty and sorry anybody on here holding pills after you quit and hand them out to "friends" you are a pos. Before you quit u thought then it was the answer like all of us. Help him do what? Clean his house? Organize his homework not sure what your saying he wants you to do? If he needs help quitting sure definitely give 100% effort but if he needs you to be his mommy clean up his mess screw that tell him what's up and he should quit like you did. 

[SleepyStupid]

On 9/16/2017 at 8:22 PM, bonesbuggie said:

I quit adderall because of the horrible side effects and I took a very low dose. He has asked me this week to help him, because, ironically he has become very scattered and can't seem to get his shit together and needs someone to help him get some stuff off his plate. I'm wondering from all of you if you have had symptoms like his where the drug backfires and makes you less organized? I'm also wondering if there is anything I can do to convince him that he is not a better version of himself that he seems to be convinced of. Does this happen to people who abuse adderall who don't suffer from ADD? Any general advice on how to move forward?

for people who are not actually suffering from ADD, adderall is just speed- nothing more, nothing less. in this sense, this kind of abuse will eventually produce the symptoms of ADD in that person: hyperactivity, inability to focus on one thing, delusions of grandeur, neglecting responsibilities.. and you know what? it will convince that person that they may have had ADD all along- i know because this happened to me. everyone around me saw all these side effects of what was basically amphetamine abuse, but bought into the belief that i was mega ADD. it reinforced my own beliefs, and it allowed me to get away with being obviously high all the time.

i too had big creative ambitions, and for creative types it is difficult to convince them that they are a worse version of themselves because artists in our society are kind of expected to embrace conflict, pain and turn their sacrifice into something. to be fair, he probably feels much better about his weight now (even if it's unhealthy) and all those negative things you mentioned like alienating friends and family may not matter in his pursuit of success.

the point about the professional bridge burning sounds like the thing that is going to be the linchpin of this entire wild ride. what i can say from personal experience is that he will find himself buried under ever increasing amounts of work, begin increasing his dosage, tolerance will kick in, the high will go away and suddenly he will be in a situation where he has built this massive vision of success but is unable to deliver it- i know because this happened to me.  i was at the peak of my songwriting craft, actually landed that "foot in the door gig" as a songwriter for a small label, and you know what? i was too junked up to deliver. i missed deadlines, couldn't communicate effectively.. i fucked it all up.

that all being said, here is my advice on approaching this: make him understand that even if he feels like he's on top of the world right now, there is a very real risk of bottoming out and losing everything he's worked for. perhaps even share my story with him. now is the time to do it before "irreversible" damage is done to his career and life, and agree to help him out with all that shit on his plate if he quits- that is how you manage the guilt and redeem yourself.

 

[Xylanthius]

Yes.  I ruined my career and everything I had been working for thanks to Adderall.  Motivation to work was there, but it killed my creativity.  I would get to work and feel like I was working all day doing so many important things but in the end I just had my finger on my clit.  

 

I think the feelings of Grand are related to this.  You really do think you are doing all the important things.  After all that time spent working you have nothing to show for it besides stress that you might be missing deadlines or late for the thing you were preparing for.  

 

The fat and weight loss will make it extremely difficult for friend to quit.