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Experience smoking meth


SeanW

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Thanks for the replies everybody.. just trying my best to get things going for me and every time I take a few steps forward I ended up messing up and fall back after all the progress I worked hard for. I’m really tired of all the pain and hurt. I feel like such a miserable asshole. It breaks my heart to look into the eyes of family and friends and people and they look at me with disgust and disappointment. That’s the hardest part. My heart breaks every time knowing how I’ve hurt and let them down. It’s like they think I don’t care and I’m just a piece of shit fuck up but I beat myself up all the time over it as they continue to treat me like I I actually want to hurt them like I’m heartless but it couldn’t be any further from the truth. I hurt everyday over mt mistakes and I’m god damn tired of fighting to stay alive for them. If I didn’t have family I’d have no reason to live. But anyways.. here’s to another day trying to crawl out of hell. 

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1 hour ago, SeanW said:

You’re right frank. My addictive personality is turning me into an alcoholic. I can’t drink anymore. 

I’m right there with you. I should probably avoid bars, but I have a passion for music...and guess where most of that takes place? Bars.

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I don't think any less of you for what you did.  In fact, if you have always been curious, it was bound to happen, especially since you've been struggling with abstinence lately.  I consider meth to be adderall's sinister sister.  Very closely related, but not exactly the same shit.  Meth is actually cheaper and easier to get than Adderall.  I have had friends "graduate" from Adderall to meth and continue their addiction for several more years, so be careful.  Personally, I tried meth several times before taking up Adderall.  I didn't like it - for me it was way too intense and I hated its side effects.  

I think your best chance for a successful recovery will be if you leave your toxic environment and start over somewhere else.  When are you planning to move to Denver?

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1 hour ago, BK99 said:

I’m right there with you. I should probably avoid bars, but I have a passion for music...and guess where most of that takes place? Bars.

Same, I play open mics and just listening to live music can take me out of all this pain

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15 minutes ago, quit-once said:

I don't think any less of you for what you did.  In fact, if you have always been curious, it was bound to happen, especially since you've been struggling with abstinence lately.  I consider meth to be adderall's sinister sister.  Very closely related, but not exactly the same shit.  Meth is actually cheaper and easier to get than Adderall.  I have had friends "graduate" from Adderall to meth and continue their addiction for several more years, so be careful.  Personally, I tried meth several times before taking up Adderall.  I didn't like it - for me it was way too intense and I hated its side effects.  

I think your best chance for a successful recovery will be if you leave your toxic environment and start over somewhere else.  When are you planning to move to Denver?

I was in Colorado all January and had to come back home to figure out what to do with my pup cause I didn’t have a yard for him in Colorado so I found a friend to take care of him. I fly back to Colorado Wednesday. I was in way better shape there. Something that has been bothering me for awhile now is when I look in peoples eyes I feel they just see a dead cold lifeless person and I can feel their distaste and how they just brush me off like my words are empty and meaningless like I have no real value to be actually listened to or paid attention too and it makes me feel like shit and terrible about myself.

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