Popular Post DelaneyJuliette Posted January 21, 2020 Popular Post Report Share Posted January 21, 2020 I said I was going to try to post every day here so, here goes. Today is day 4. (Reminder, I had 27 days, then 3 day lapse, then 2 weeks, then 4 day lapse.) Anyway, I have a lot of anxiety right now, but I am okay. This time it's sticking. I know where I went wrong before and I'm taking steps to make it be different. Hope everyone has a great day. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addyaddy Posted January 21, 2020 Report Share Posted January 21, 2020 Get it, @DelaneyJuliette! ❤️ 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eric Posted January 22, 2020 Report Share Posted January 22, 2020 @DelaneyJuliette I just want to let you know you’re not alone. I went on a full 8 day bender but finishing up my 4th day clean with you. What’s crazy is the past 2 days at work have been insane but I pulled thru. I also have another very close friend that is on day 9 today so that’s awesome as well. Hope your day was good! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DelaneyJuliette Posted January 22, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2020 Eric, thank you so much for reaching out. It literally made my day to get your message. I feel a bit silly writing this, but sometimes when I post here and no one responds I feel lonely. Rationally I know that it doesn't mean that people aren't here, supporting me, going through similar things, but emotionally I still feel it sometimes, lol. Today is day 5 and right now I'm really anxious. I tend to feel really anxious in the mornings. I'm just super overwhelmed with too much to do. I have to keep telling myself that it's okay. Just one thing at a time. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DelaneyJuliette Posted January 22, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2020 12 hours ago, Sleepyandsober said: Get it, @DelaneyJuliette! ❤️ THANK YOU!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addyaddy Posted January 22, 2020 Report Share Posted January 22, 2020 You are never alone! I am on day 14 today. Like you, mornings are tough. I don't necessarily feel anxious, but exhausted, and those first thoughts creeping in..."oh, I don't have any adderall. I don't take adderall anymore. Shit!" (or something to that effect). I would look forward to waking up in the morning just to take a pill. But then as I dove deeper into my addiction, I wasn't even able to wake up in the morning...or if I did, I was exhausted and sleep-deprived. This morning, I woke up and threw myself a dance party. Something I like to do in sobriety is actively list the things I realize I love, but forgot about or neglected when I was using. I love music and dancing -- but I couldn't feel that when I was using, that is a SOUL thing! Make a list. Listen to music. Dance. EAT something and actually enjoy it. Sleep when you need to. Don't push yourself. And share, share, share. On these message boards and in those rooms of recovery. ♥ 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eric Posted January 22, 2020 Report Share Posted January 22, 2020 Almost done with the workday, just rounding out day 5. I feel super anxious in the mornings too... especially in my job where things can be just fine one second and then all of the sudden all hell is breaking loose (IT job). I wish I delivered mail or something where its kind of the same routine everyday (a close family member is a mailman so I know all about the negatives too) lol. Oh well, for the current time I try to take it one hour at a time during the work day, and in the evenings I normally try to watch at least one Intervention episode and cruise around on this site after dinner and getting my son to bed. GOOD LUCK! Keep Posting!!! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DelaneyJuliette Posted January 23, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 23, 2020 Good morning Day 6! I am making it a habit to check this forum once a day; morning seems to work best for me. I am anxious in the mornings largely b/c there is SO MUCH TO DO and I can't get myself to do it! But, life goes on and I get it done somehow. Or I don't. I would like to add back in reading for fun or even watching tv. But it's only day 6, so it's okay to just be where I am. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addyaddy Posted January 23, 2020 Report Share Posted January 23, 2020 my fellow day counters, @eric & @DelaneyJuliette, where do y'all live? I'm in NYC and open to hitting meetings! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eric Posted January 24, 2020 Report Share Posted January 24, 2020 Well, made it thru day 6. Just a long day but thankfully not to stressful, didn’t think about adderall too much either. Just checking in and wishing everyone a good day tomorrow! Good luck to all! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addyaddy Posted January 24, 2020 Report Share Posted January 24, 2020 right on, @eric! It's past midnight here and I'm still in the office working, on a deadline...it can be done sober! yeehaw! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DelaneyJuliette Posted February 5, 2020 Author Report Share Posted February 5, 2020 @eric thank you SO much for thinking about me!! That literally made my day!! I am doing well!! I am on Day 9. I decided to start my day count over 9 days ago. I had a terrible cold a couple of weekends ago while on a trip with my daughter and I didn't have any cold meds (and I had to drive 5 hours) but I did have some old Ritalin in my purse so I took that to get me through. It worked, and interestingly I didn't feel anything other than awake, but I'm super proud of myself for recognizing the pattern early. Even though at the time I didn't feel anything other than awake, looking back, I am totally able to see how it changed my perspective on things. I ended up buying so much more than I needed to or would have if I hadn't been on it, and I also waaaay over-scheduled us b/c I was ready to just keep going and going.... (even though I was so sick!!) I sure paid for that on Monday and had to take most of the week off work b/c the cold got so bad. No more of that for me! I've been dealing with a TON of anxiety since then but it's getting a little better. I still am so overwhelmed at all of the things I "need to get done" and "don't have time to do" but I also realize that I wouldn't have "more time" on adderall, even though it felt like it. I so relate to what you are talking about re: waking up at 4:30am and not falling back to sleep! On monday i woke up at 3:30am and couldn't fall back to sleep, and come 8pm I was a ZOMBIE and I couldn't figure out why I felt so bad! It reminds me of a post someone made on here before where they said something like, "I keep finding myself asking, 'What's wrong with me?!' and then I remember 'OMG i just quit an amphetamine addiction cold turkey a couple of months ago!'" That sticks with me so much and I keep reminding myself of that. I feel better now too. U rock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DelaneyJuliette Posted February 5, 2020 Author Report Share Posted February 5, 2020 On 1/23/2020 at 9:36 AM, Sleepyandsober said: my fellow day counters, @eric & @DelaneyJuliette, where do y'all live? I'm in NYC and open to hitting meetings! I'm nowhere near NYC but if I was I'd go with you!! I used to be in AA about 10 years ago and I actually went back to an AA meeting once last week and I didn't hate it! LOL. It's funny how much I absolutely hated it while I was no longer "sober." I still don't want it to be like it was back 10 years ago for me, but I am not closed off too it anymore and going back felt really comforting, familiar and helpful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DelaneyJuliette Posted February 5, 2020 Author Report Share Posted February 5, 2020 I totally want to watch that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuLamb Posted March 14, 2020 Report Share Posted March 14, 2020 OMG! I watched the NOVA:Addiction doc last night and it was amazing and so helpful on all levels. I didn’t even realize how much I viewed becoming addicted as a moral failing on my part. This doc makes me feel more empowered to work with my addicted brain in a more compassionate way. It really took the edge off the shame and put so much more into perspective. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Civilengr2020 Posted April 5, 2020 Report Share Posted April 5, 2020 So I’m on day 6 of going cold turkey and feel great! I feel the withdrawal feelings are finally going away and This morning I finally felt semi normal and with an unusual amount of high energy. My hunger levels are starting to stabilize and I’m not as panicky on the whole weight gain issue. Since I was on adderall/Vyvanse for 15 years....this is all new to me and everyday I just keep feeling better and better...I’m planning on starting my healthy diet and workouts tomorrow so let’s see how that goes. i wanted to thank the creator of this site and the entire community for posting all these helpful articles and words of encouragement.....could not do it without you.....I’ll keep you all posted on my progress....stay safe and God Bless!! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StAnne0822 Posted April 5, 2020 Report Share Posted April 5, 2020 Stay strong...you've got this! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DelaneyJuliette Posted April 8, 2020 Author Report Share Posted April 8, 2020 I was going strong and then I messed up again today. This is so frustrating. There has to be a better way! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doge Posted April 8, 2020 Report Share Posted April 8, 2020 There will inevitably be moments where our resolve disappears, we change our mind (temporarily), and go looking for pills. It's important to burn bridges in advance and take away your access so that you're able to ride out those storms. Best wishes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuLamb Posted April 9, 2020 Report Share Posted April 9, 2020 Well said!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DelaneyJuliette Posted April 22, 2020 Author Report Share Posted April 22, 2020 On 4/8/2020 at 1:05 PM, Doge said: There will inevitably be moments where our resolve disappears, we change our mind (temporarily), and go looking for pills. It's important to burn bridges in advance and take away your access so that you're able to ride out those storms. Best wishes! so, tonight i commit to putting everything other than what i will use tomorrow into a lock box. i will tell my husband and he can take the lock box to work. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DelaneyJuliette Posted April 22, 2020 Author Report Share Posted April 22, 2020 4 minutes ago, DelaneyJuliette said: so, tonight i commit to putting everything other than what i will use tomorrow into a lock box. i will tell my husband and he can take the lock box to work. also, i am not saying that is my forever plan, just that it feels like i'm not setting myself up for failure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.