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Starting over Hay there brother IM a little older than most of our members so I can offer you only my experience in life. Your story hits home with me I don’t want to go into my history wright now because this is for you. Jest a little summery of me I have done all the shit you have ten times over I am 55 and jest got clean 37 days ago that’s wright bro that’s a lot of years under my belt being fucked up big time bro .Your decision to quit Adderall is grate you can do it if you put your mind into it and be vigilant about quitting .Her is the problem I am reading into you have an addictive personality like my self .You need to make a 360 you are addicted to everything that makes you feel good all substances + your gaming it is my intuition that you partake in some form of gambling via computer maybe like poker. Well my point is you need to concur not only Adderall addiction butt concur your other addictions as well. I will tell you why bro if you quit Adderall completely you will start to compensate upping your other addictions that you have. This will probably happen believe me bro IV ben there don that. I know it’s an old clesay butt it’s thru. I can fart off some stories that will make you look like am altar boy. Quitting Adderall is a start you must also battle your other demands sooner or later or they will play catch up with your soul they fucked me up. Is far as your first love I know how it goes my brother I fell in love at 17 went out with my first love for 2 years she went off to college and I went off to the school of hard knocks she gave me the good old good by story in some kind way of saying she will need to move on now because she is starting a new chapter in her life .I really loved this baby and wanted to get married to here At this point I started using shit to self-medicate my feelings so my broken heart. I am praying for this not to happen to you over your first love bro you do have a difficult road in front of your path butt if your will is strong you will beet all your addictions not jest one of them I hope my point is took I’m not a great wrighter like yourself your story is well told and easily under stood God give you the courage to get clean from your addictions our members are always her for you. And you can count on us to talk to us about anything you like we will support you in any way we can to God bless and good like in your quest for freedom. THE FALCON Asong for you old school my brotherlisten to the words tommarow is tusday Day one for freedom

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Thanks, Falcon. Means a lot to hear from somebody who has seen it all, and felt it all. My personality is extremely addictive, and I am trying to force it to be addicted to real things: exercising, laughing, conversing, connecting, etc. it is going well. Today is my first full day away from adderall, and I feel great. I know things will get much worse before they start to improve, but I am in this for the long haul.

Also, I came up with a great analogy today:

Have you ever seen a bird trying to fly into a strong wind? That is exactly what adderall is like. You take that pill and you take flight. You feel amazing, the view is beautiful, and you never ever want to come down. Everyone else is taking notice, "wow. That guy is in an awesome mood. He is so productive! I can't believe he can do all these things with a smile on his face!"

Then, after awhile, you realize that you're stuck in the same place you started flying. You haven't moved towards any of your real goals. Sure, you're still flying, but the view hasn't changed. The feeling isn't nearly as breathtaking as it was when you first started. You aren't sure where you're even trying to fly to anymore.

So you stop. You come down, and crash back into reality. It stinks at first because you're not flying anymore. It felt so awesome and exhilarating, but you just weren't going anywhere. And then after awhile, you realize that you never needed adderall to start flying in the first place. You notice that your real goals were in a different direction. You take flight, this time with the wind, and start making progress towards what really matters to you most.

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STARTINGOVER Great news sounds like you got your head strait you are heading in the wright direction keep it up please don’t let your guard down jest yet. You need to crash land 7 to 10 days it took me 12 days best of luck my brother

Great story about the bird I like it

THE FALCON

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I'm on my second day without Adderall, and I must tell everyone, "I FEEL AMAZING!" I think I feel so good without it, because during the last 5 months when I was on it, I was actually taking it as prescribed, and I was getting 8 hours of sleep every night. So now that I stopped, I don't have an insanely unbalanced chemical makeup in my brain, and I am not horrendously sleep deprived.

Don't get me wrong, there is definitely some fatigue going on, and it takes me a little longer to motivate myself to work on things, but the pros absolutely destroy the cons:

PRO: My sense of humor is returning quickly, and I am laughing naturally at the things that I find funny. On Adderall, I rarely ever GENUINELY laughed, or smiled for that matter. I forced laughter all of the time, thus raising my level of social anxiety through the roof.

PRO: Slightly related to the first pro, but I am experiencing a ton less social anxiety, almost to the point where I am experiencing NO social anxiety. That is how I was when I wasn't indulging in anything like alcohol, adderall, weed, other random drugs and pills. For the first time in a long time, I feel like a unique individual that others want to be around. Best of all, I am somebody I am happy to be!

PRO: APPETITE! I love food again! I know that this could turn into a con, but that is where the next pro comes into play...

PRO: EXERCISE! I love to run and play pick up basketball again! I no longer have to constantly worry about my heart rate or becoming dehydrated! I can just run, sweat, and feel amazing doing it! Not worried and stressed!

PRO: EVERYTHING! Not only have I quit Adderall, but I have also dropped any and all other vices! And the best part: I aint worried about it! I know I will have some bad days, but you are supposed to have bad days! That's life! A bad day isn't a reason to go take an addy, or pound 12 beers (Maybe once in a great while, lol) or smoke a blunt! Learn from your mistakes and become a better person because of them!

I am so happy I made this life decision, and I hope I can inspire at least one person to make this decision too!

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Congrats on quitting Adderall!

I would only caution you on one thing. Some effects of quitting take awhile to really hit you. I was and still am addicted to adderall. About six months ago I tried to quit & after feeling sleepy the first few days, I started feeling really great for the same reasons as you. Unfortunately extreme boredom & anxiety started cramping into my days. I didn't realize it at the time, because I had stopped taking the pills months before, but this was from quitting adderall. Eventually I rationalized taking the drug again & started over-using worse then I ever did before I tried to quit. It's amazing the hoops & hurdles I jumped to get it, even convincing a doctor I had ADHD for double daily use! Today I decided to quit again but this time prepared for the effects of what is to come (last time I had no idea). For those taking it recreationally, it's clear it only leads to a life of no money, no friends & no happyness. Good luck on your sobriety & good luck on mine!!

-J

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I'm on my 8th day without Adderall, and I've gotta tell everyone: I feel awesome! I have noticed that exercise is definitely key in combating fatigue, but I am more than happy that I made this decision. The biggest thing that I've noticed: zero to little social anxiety, and a humongous resurgence with my sense of humor! When I was on Adderall, I hardly laughed or made anyone else laugh. During this past week of not being on Adderall, I have been GENUINELY laughing daily, and making others around me laugh like I used to (Back in HIGH SCHOOL, First full week of my life in 5 years that I haven't indulged in any mind altering substance/drug, and I don't know why I ever started!)

Danca- I hear ya man. I am well aware that boredom may sneak into my life from time to time, but that is just life, and I am fully prepared to be bored and deal with it. As far as anxiety goes, I know I will experience some work-related stress and anxiety, as it takes me a little longer to get motivated to accomplish tasks, but as far as social anxiety goes, I think I am miles away from experiencing the amount of social anxiety that I did while on Adderall and other substances.

To everyone: Thank you for the support, and make the same choice that I did! Adderall Sucks! Move on and start to LIVE! The real relationships that I am starting to build/repair THIS WEEK ALONE make it all worth it! I AINT NEVER GOING BACK!!!

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  • 2 weeks later...

It has been 3 weeks now since my last adderall, and I cannot tell you how awesome my life is nowadays. I can finally feel my old self starting to return, and, for the first time in forever, I am looking forward to social events. When I was on Adderall, I would never look forward to doing things without being on adderall. If I didn't have any adderall, I would dread doing pretty much everything. NOW, I have essentially forgotten all about adderall. I wake up everyday at 7, go through my morning routine, go to work, go play basketball, and then go home. It might sound mundane or boring, but the people I see everyday, whether it be my coworkers, family, or friends, have so much more meaning to me. My social interactions from day to day now are so much more memorable than they ever were when I was on adderall. Meaning and emotion and LAUGHTER have returned to my life, and I cannot tell you how much that means to me. 21 days in without adderall, and I can honestly tell you, there is NO WAY I am going back to that life!!

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StartingOver3

Hey Tom supper great job my brother. You did it congratulations its good to heir a good successes story. Jest don’t forget where you jest came from its very easy to relapse at this point of your recovery .How are tings with Megan if you love her go get her bro jest don’t be pushy about getting her back take it slow. Good luck in your new life keep in touch. FALCON

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  • 2 weeks later...

4 weeks without Adderall, and my mind feels clearer than it has ever been. I am maintaining my exercise schedule ENTHUSIASTICALLY. I am more engaged with my job than I ever was on Adderall. I am excited about hanging out with old friends and feel no anxiety when it comes to hanging out with anybody. I have virtually no social anxiety at all, and I cannot tell you how amazing it feels. I laugh everyday, usually hard. I know that sounds dumb, but I have laughed more in the last four weeks than I have in a LONG time. And, even better, I am making people laugh, sometimes hard, almost everyday. Before I started my downward spiral (see my original story if you have not, it's long, but it will provide you with some insight), I remember always being told by people that I was the funniest person they knew. During my time on Adderall, and other various substances, that side of me almost completely disappeared. Since I quit Adderall (i dont smoke cigarettes or weed, nor do I take any drugs recreationally or otherwise. i do drink occassionally) my sense of humor has returned in uproarious fashion.

As for things with Megan, I finally have accepted that I may or may not get her back, and I need to continue my recovery and quest for self-improvement just for me. I will admit, these large decisions I have chosen to better my quality of life were in part because I wanted to get her back. Now that my I have reached this newfound sense of clarity, I realize that I have a lot going for me. It is destructive for me to sit back and wait for her, and to think of ways to manipulate her into speaking with me. Do I love her? Absolutely. Would I love to start over with her, and get a fresh shot at things with this new person I have become? Definitely. But if she is happy with herself, and is in a good place right now, it is not fair for me to berate her with texts and phone calls trying to "tell" her how much I have changed and how happy we would be together. Do I think we could have a better relationship now than the one we had when I was addicted adderall among other things? I would like to think so. But only time, and God, will tell if that is what is meant to happen. I need to continue on my path to a better future because that is the right thing to do for ME, and I would have never admitted that on adderall.

28 days Adderall free, and I feel whole again!

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Startingover,

Congratulations on 28 days. That's a big accomplishment. You can tell you're not on adderall simply by the selfless feelings you're feeling about your ex. That's amazing that you want the best for you and her, even if it's not together. We can learn a lot from relationships and leave a better person. I, too, scared my ex of 4 years off with my crazy, erratic behavior. He's now married and happy, and I'm okay with that. He even cheated on me with her, but pretty soon after getting clean the anger and resentment towards him went away. If I couldn't stand myself, how could I possibly expect someone else to stick around for my spiral to self-destruction. Good for you, man!

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Thanks, Ashley. It's reassuring to know that there are people like you out there who know what I've been through and am going through. I still want to contact her, but I think she is seeing someone else now, and it seems like they're happy. Back when I was on adderall, I would have thought of any excuse or reason to text her. Now that I am coming out of the fog and into a much clearer state of mind, I can finally see that if she wants to talk to me, I have to let her do that on her own. I am progressing on putting my life back together, and to be honest with you, I don't feel like I am ready to date anyone just yet. It does feel incredible to be clean from all substances for a change. The holidays are going to be tough, knowing that Megan and I won't be able to share them with each other, but nobody said this recovery was going to be easy. Thanks to everyone for the continued support. I love treating this page as my personal blog to fill everyone in, so keep responding if you would like, and I'll keep the updates coming.

Tom

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It really is unbelievable to find my true self again, and to realize how blind I was when I was completely brainwashed by adderall. Again, thanks to everyone for the support. It's been over 5 weeks since my last pill, and I can honestly say I am never going back. REALITY is returning, and it is so much more promising and beautiful than any feeling I have felt in years. I love the feeling of looking forward to social events again. I thought I'd never naturally get that feeling again, but it has returned. To anyone on the fence when it comes to quitting: do it! Make that first step, and keep on walking down the path to clarity. It is worth the struggle ten-fold. I love you guys! I'll keep everyone posted on my progress, and I will be there for anyone that needs support!

Tom

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hello Everybody!

It's been awhile since my last post, and I want to assure all of you... I am doing great!! It's been 2 months since I made the greatest decision of my life! Everything good I have already posted still holds true, except even better! Adderall is so far in my past, and I could not be happier. I am finding it easier to get motivated at work, I am so much more sociable than I have been in years, and I am actually starting to interject myself into the dating game again! Life could not be sweeter, and I cannot thank this website enough for how instrumental it has been in changing my life! PLLEEEAASSEE, please understand that quitting Adderall is a great life choice. If you are on the fence, and feel like you don't know who you really are anymore, just quit! Don't make excuses to keep taking it. Take that first step, and one day at a time, keep on stepping! Before you know it, you will be like me: Two months clean and feeling like the person you were always supposed to be! Happy! Outgoing! Charismatic! Compassionate! Generous! Sociable! Athletic! Likable! Confident! All in all, the feeling of being reborn and experiencing life the way it was meant to be, both the ups and the downs.

Two months clean and never looking back!!!!!

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Starting over....that is beyond killer to hear you say all that you just did. I hit a week today. It has sucked like we all know.. but I managed to get my 3 year olds. Construction site together that I couldn't even start to fathom on Xmas day. It is starting to feel better .. slowly. You just reinstated by sharing...the guarantee of getting more and more each day you keep doing it.I'm so happy for you...have a great new year ...but I think your already doing that. Awesome!!

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StartingOver3

Hey there we did not forget about you at lest I haven’t. Its great that you are doing so good isn’t this web site a life safer its helped me so much. Congratulations 0n 60 days clean feels so good. I am 92 days clean now every thing is OK with me I jest keep fighting off this depression man I wish there was a magic pill out there welcome back FALCON

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Hey falcon...I've heard in here and I know a mom like me who struggled for years to kick adderall,she says she takes Wellbutrin and when she started that it was like night and day. I know that it seems like your desire to stay off addies is all set but as far as just the general depression...have you tried any of those general anti depressants yet.???? I think I have a script for celexa but ill run it past a Dr. That knows my deal first, I know I have always shaken my head at those" they have to build up in your system" meds, cuz I'm all about NOW, INSTANT GRATIFICATION. that's me, but since the new me has to stop and smell the roses...and all. I was just curious.

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neversaynever

Hey there sounds like your doing OK you sound up beet keep up Your will power recovery takes time .I have clinically depression all my adult life I have what you call drug Resistance depression. I will start a drug or a combination of antidepressant drugs thy work for a short time then bam they stop working on me so then I’m given a new antidepressant or a new combination of antidepressants. Whenever there is a new drug big farma comes out with I am first in line to try it again it works for a short time then it stops and I become fucked up again .I have come to the realization of my condition and need jest to deal with the extremes ups and downs and adapt its funny how our minds work there is so much UN known about our own brains I have learned how to adapt to changes and I can somewhat control my depression jest to get thru the day by changing my thinking pattern.

Thank you so much for the concern you have for me .

Love FALCON

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Oh.. wow. Never heard of that before. Guess its better to get the Psyche to do what you need it to do in the long run anyway. Rather maybe than a pill. I know there are exceptions to every rule too...fuck, I'm no pyhsician I just play one on my own t.v. LOL so I should stop pushing buttons. You have taken the time to learn and earn a degree in "THYNE OWN SELF" and some people with or without addiction, never in a lifetime bother to do that. So cool,cool.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hello fellow adderalics! I'm approaching three months of sobriety, and life feels more real now than it ever has. Work is going so-so. I have my good weeks and my bad weeks, but I work in sales, so that's to be expected. I just started a 12 week workout program called "body for life," and I'm very excited about it. I set a goal for myself: to get into the best shape of my life by the beginning of April. I'm talking 6 pack, pecs, big arms, cardio, the whole deal. I have kept up with my basketball routine ever since I decided to quit adderall, and that has been my sanctuary. When I'm struggling a bit, it gives me something to look forward to, and it has helped me get into pretty good shape already. I am sleeping 7-8 hours a night, eating pretty healthy, and i am socializing enthusiastically a million times more than I ever did on addy.

The one aspect of my life that I wish would improve is my love life. Since I'm Just getting out of a 2 and a half year relationship, I know it will take time. I've ran into my ex a couple of times, and it was almost like we were never apart. I'm not saying we were all over each other or really even touched for that matter, but the conversation we had was genuine and very enjoyable. We talked for nearly 20 minutes the last time I ran into her! I know she is seeing someone new, so I'm not getting my hopes up. I'm just trying to be a part of her life as much as she'll allow me to, and ill have to admit, it's been tough. That is why I'm starting this workout routine. Not to get her back, but just to show her, or any other attractive female, that I do maintain a high level of self love and self respect, and that I care highly about my body and the way I look and feel.

I've come a LONG way since 10/30/12, and I cannot tell you how instrumental this website has been in getting me here. I love you guys, and I always look forward to updating this post and reading all of your posts. Stay strong everybody.

ADDY FREE FOR 2 MONTHS AND 2 WEEKS! HELL YEAH!!!

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