DelaneyJuliette Posted May 9, 2022 Report Share Posted May 9, 2022 I guess I'm going to make tomorrow day 1. I'm just so defeated. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m34 Posted May 10, 2022 Report Share Posted May 10, 2022 Hang in there. One day you’ll be able to quit for good. I went back and forth for yrs trying to get off. This is the toughest addiction on the planet. I’m 3.5 yrs clean…, but I literally walked into my family members house the other day to two new adderall bottles on the counter. All I’ve been thinking about are those damn pills for days. I didn’t take any or ask for any thank god. It’s just crazy how it still has a hold on my mind. Be proud of yourself for trying again! It is not easy! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DelaneyJuliette Posted May 11, 2022 Author Report Share Posted May 11, 2022 On 5/9/2022 at 8:23 PM, eric said: I'm so sorry Delaney....I'm right there with you about feeling defeated. I haven't posted in 2 years and to be honest the last 2 years have been some of the craziest of my addiction and life..I did quit for over 2 months from all substances (amphetamine, alcohol, tramadol) back in January but then a wedding the first weekend of April threw my whole world into a tailspin again. Whats funny is I was gonna post on something back when I hit day 60 about already feeling like a completely different soul (I worked on my health and fasted and felt seriously like a different person, for the better) but I didn't because I was scared I would look like an idiot by relapsing for the thousandth time. Sure enough I did....so for the last 5+ weeks i've been going hard and its been the worst 5 weeks of my life. It's time to kick this shit for good. Weddings always fuck with my mind!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DelaneyJuliette Posted May 11, 2022 Author Report Share Posted May 11, 2022 On 5/9/2022 at 8:23 PM, eric said: I'm so sorry Delaney....I'm right there with you about feeling defeated. I haven't posted in 2 years and to be honest the last 2 years have been some of the craziest of my addiction and life..I did quit for over 2 months from all substances (amphetamine, alcohol, tramadol) back in January but then a wedding the first weekend of April threw my whole world into a tailspin again. Whats funny is I was gonna post on something back when I hit day 60 about already feeling like a completely different soul (I worked on my health and fasted and felt seriously like a different person, for the better) but I didn't because I was scared I would look like an idiot by relapsing for the thousandth time. Sure enough I did....so for the last 5+ weeks i've been going hard and its been the worst 5 weeks of my life. It's time to kick this shit for good. Reading this makes me feel better Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DelaneyJuliette Posted May 11, 2022 Author Report Share Posted May 11, 2022 On 5/9/2022 at 7:30 PM, DelaneyJuliette said: I guess I'm going to make tomorrow day 1. I'm just so defeated. Well I did NOT make today day 1. So tomorrow will be day 1. I need to post here daily. Thursday gonna be hardest. I need to get off everything. Pattern. Give up adderall, still want to feel different, slightly misuse klinapin or ambien which I don't like. Then I go ammeter what I really want. A d the. I make it be like 4 days cuz I promise myself I won't be doing it again. Can I be more predictable? I need a PLAN for when the cravings come. They are like ripping my skin from the inside out. But that's dramatic. I just do need a plan and I'm scared I don't have one. What I k ow is no adderall tomorrow. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dolssa Posted June 6, 2022 Report Share Posted June 6, 2022 On 5/9/2022 at 4:30 PM, DelaneyJuliette said: I guess I'm going to make tomorrow day 1. I'm just so defeated. me too. been using every day for 6 months after a year and a half clean. day 1. im so done and starting to feel hopeless. you arent alone :/ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DelaneyJuliette Posted August 3, 2022 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2022 Eric, i feel your post soooo hard right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DelaneyJuliette Posted August 7, 2022 Author Report Share Posted August 7, 2022 You can do this! I'm not back yet to zero but I'm heading the right direction. Please check back frequently. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DelaneyJuliette Posted August 9, 2022 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2022 U can do this!! Keep posting! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DelaneyJuliette Posted November 2, 2022 Author Report Share Posted November 2, 2022 I'm at 47 days right now! I'm beyond grateful. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirod9 Posted November 3, 2022 Report Share Posted November 3, 2022 5 hours ago, DelaneyJuliette said: I'm at 47 days right now! I'm beyond grateful. KEEP GOING! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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