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Holiday temptation


resetBrain

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I'm dealing with my own version of holiday temptation, not sure if it is simular to yours but maybe it can help. Ive been on stimulants off and on (mostly on) since I was six. I found out about this site about a month ago and finally decided to take more serious action towards living without it. At first it was exhausting, but because I am on christmass break not as stressfull. In about two weeks I felt amazing, having natural energy, an appetite, spending wonderful time with friends and family I had neglected. Until the day I had no work, homework, or social functions, then I just didnt know what to do with myself...or where to start atleast, I also felt depressed and slowed down. I kept on thinking I was wasting away the few hours of free time I had left before school starts again and even though addy made me feel bad I already felt bad so why not get something out of it? It is totally wrong but thats what happens to me on holiday breaks sometimes..is that what you mean?

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Hey there...I totally get the temptation thing and your changing it to free time temptation...I have 8 days this time and everything seems like free time because I'm not five steps ahead of my own brain trying to keep up. I was a run multiple scripts adderall user...but a girl I know would let me know when she got hers incase I was between scripts...well she text me like yesterday. And of course the addict in me went...."Fuck ill get just a few. Get some shit done and that'll be that" instead I text her that I was off addies entirely...any way, shape or form. I can't maintain my own habbit and not end up in a cell or a casket so don't heads up me anymore. She gets it..if she doesn't in the future, ill change my #. Some kinda temptation may exsist for the rest of my life....but I can't keep up the chase required anymore,nor do I want to. That's my situation anyway....I come on here to vent or contact a close friend that knows my deal to remind me that I can't go back. I don't ever want to do day one again!!!!! God noooo!!! So stay strong.

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Good for you your will power is strong yes there will always be temptation probably all your life. It is already etching your hard drive in your brain . When temptation knocks on your door bring your mind back to the darkest day you have had on adderall and look into that past think about how you surfert and the pain you endured quitting adderall that’s what I do. I don’t ever want to be in that place again it was living hell can you remember. Jest say no like you did with your addarall source I am proud of you keep your great will power going you and I are not out of the woods yet I believe it takes about 1 year to recover from adderall addiction good job your friend FALCON

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Oh my God you guys I love reading all the responses you have!!!!! I really feel like I've known u all forever. I smile all the time reading what you all write and daaaammmn I wanna hi-five but :( you're not really right here!!!!!! I wish we could all just meet at the local eclectic Bohemian coffee house and chill together!!! Listening to some acoustic stylings of who the fuck ever. My name is Heather by the way and I'm an addict. And just for today I am truly grateful for people who have been where I've been, enlighten me about where I can still go or also where I can end up and tell me to Buck the fuck up already girl, you can't ever fool us,we know your hustle. I am a lucky lucky girl indeed.

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LandeA26,

Hope I'm not too late but I think you are describing what I'd call "phase 2" of quitting. Phase 1 is the physical stuff. Common wisdom on this site says you will sleep for 2 weeks. Yep, you did that. Then you feel great. For a few days.

Phase 2 is one of the hardest I think because a) you don't expect it to happen; B) you're not prepared for it and c) it lasts longer than Phase 1. It's when withdrawal (psychological) and depression really kick in. Now remember your brain has been flooded with dopamine, and it has gotten used to having so much of it swimming around in there that it has built up a tolerance to it. It's gotten used to having a lot of it to just funciton properly. Now you've come off it, there's virtually none up there, and your brain is like what the fuck, where's all that fun juice? BAM: serious depression. The thing about depression that hits HARD and suddenly like this is you actually don't realize you're more depressed than you actually are. This, for me, was the most difficult time. I had read that you start to feel better, you have more energy, and your body gives you a false sense of security after you give it some sleep. So you're not expecting to feel shitty, and down and so on for days on end. Phase 2 lasted for me about a month or so. Yes, it SUCKED. But Phase 3 is kind of worth it, when you start to "feel like your old self" on more days than not, and you start to actually not hate yourself.

I'm just telling you all this so you know it's not about holidays, or temptation based on boredom or stress or tiredness or whatever, it is part of the recovery process and is COMPLETELY normal. Just keep fighting the bastards in your head and let them know youv'e got this, you're on it, you're dealing, and you don't need a fucking drug to cope. You are bigger than that.

Hang in there!

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