My Reasons For Quitting Adderall

[Searchingsoul9]

I believe someone may have posted something like this before, but i decided i should do my own, just in case i find myself craving some of those life-ruining, soul-crushing pills that we like to call adderall. Like a friend reminder as to why i decided to quit in the first place. Please add on if you have anything to share.

• I realized i actually did NOT want my brain to turn to mush. Being slightly dramatic, but i have noticed i am not as quick and witty as i once was. I am slow, always at a loss for words, forgetting absolutely anything and everything. I really don't want to wake up one day and have it be too late. I don't want want to become less and less intelligent as each day passes. Then the term 'older and wiser' would NOT apply to me.
  
• I don't want my teeth to fall out...or whatever happens when you abuse adderall for a while. I did notice they became more yellow and have lost a ton more enamel, but i could attribute that to my bulimia :-/
  
• I want to REALLY enjoy sex again!!! TMI perhaps, but i used to be able to have a good orgasm. Ever since the adderall, can't cum for the life of me. Sure i enjoy sex, but never get that 'reward' lmao and never find myself horny either.
  
• I miss my sense of humor. I am not your stereotypical adhd, bouncing off the walls person. I am shy at first, but once you get to know me i am a total goofball, like to laugh and make others laugh. But not on adderall. I am a boring, robotic, monotone loser on adderall.
  
• I am not kind on adderall. I used to be the type of person to take care of friends and family, feel bad for them, very selfless to a fault. But since abusing the pills i became extremely selfish and oblivious to others and their needs. Especially my loved ones.
  
• I am scared if i keep taking adderall that i will never find love. I am not looking for love, nor do i think i am ready to get back into a relationship nor want to at this point. BUT i do at SOME point and if i kept abusing the pills i would have no idea how to open up to someone. I have had sexual encounters on the adderall, but whenever someone tried to get to know me on a deeper level or ask me questions about my feelings, i literally froze up. No words came out of my mouth. A robot does not love. A robot does not feel. And i clearly was a robot.
  
• I want so desperately to develop a healthy lifestyle with food!!! Off adderall i am still struggling with bulimia, yes. But on it, i was barely eating anything, then i would drink a shitton of vodka and most of the time binge and purge anyways. So it was that much worse on the pills.
  
• I can't exercise for shit on adderall. I have no desire to anyways, but i was too scared i would have a heart attack if i ran on the treadmill high.
  
• I don't want to get all old, ugly, and wrinkled and faster than i have to! And from what i have read, adderall ages you faster than normal. Big surprise.
  
• I want my blue fingers to go the fuck and stay the fuck away!!! Talk about embarrassing.
  
• I want to be able to go to sleep without the help of a downer!
  
• I want to be able to wake up and get through a normal day without the help of an upper.
  
• THE ADDERALL CRASH!!!!! One of the biggest issues i had with adderall. The crash was debilitating. I have NO idea how i got through the crash the first few months abusing adderall. After the first few months i started turning to heavy drinking and weed to alleviate the crash
  
• READING BOOKS. I have always loved to read, but i haven't read a book since the day i started adderall. I felt it was a waste of time. Time i could spend shopping, wasting money on shit i don't want or need, cleaning, spending 2 hours trying to decide what kind of cupcake recipe i should use to bake cupcakes that i wouldn't eat, organizing and color coordinating my closet, painting my nails 7 different times in one day! (i kid you not, i went back and forth to kmat 3 times in 2 hours just because i needed the perfect colors.
  
• I will never quit cigarettes if i didn't quit adderall.
  
• I used to be a more positive person. Not like 'look at what a beautiful day it is today! lets all sing and hold hands!' but i had hope and lots of it. I could be a negative cunt sometimes, we all have our days. But on adderall, everyday is negative ass bitch day. I don't like being a pessimistic pissant.
  
• I wont be considered an alcoholic anymore because i wont have the need to be throwing back 4-15 shots of vodka a night. I never was much of a drinker before the adderall. Yeah, i like to drink on weekends with friends, but on adderall it was outta control. Drinking alone every night, just to get to sleep.
  
• SLEEP. I love sleep now. Once again. Sleep is my friend. Sleep is beautiful!!!!!! Sleep is my escape! Not pills.
  
• I want to have kids and a family one day. And i don't want adderall fucking that up.
  

Well, im fucking tired and have to wake up in like 6 hours. There's many more reasons, but this is all for tonight.

More reasons i forgot...

• Shaking hands. Adderall caused my hands to shake uncontrollably. Everyone noticed.
  
• Hot flashes. On adderall i started tog et really bad hot flashes. i would break out in a red rash on my chest and face. It felt like i was on fire. And this got 10X worse if someone pissed me off. I was like the hulk, but i turned red and angry.
  
• TWITCHES. This one scared me the most. My head would do this quick, uncontrollable twitch when the adderall was wearing off. So would my legs and arms, but mostly the head. I couldn't hold my head up without leaning on my hands sometimes or else it would twitch bad.
  
• When on the adderall, even if i was seriously sad or pissed i was unable to cry. I would try so hard. I needed to get this sadness out after a horrible day at work, but i could not cry for the life of me.
  
• Lost all my creativity. I used to have SO many ideas for new dessert recipes and ideas. (i am in pastry school) but since the adderall, i have become cut and dry. Just do it and do it perfect, don't think outside the box.
  
• I don't recall if i had this ability before or not, but when i close my eyes and try to envision say a fantasy or picture the ocean for example...it is all black and white. There are no colors. No vivid imagery. I have SUCH a hard time imagining anything on adderall. But last night the most amazing thing happened. I had a dream about a flower that was as tall as a tree. It was all in color! I never have dreams in color. It was the most beautiful flower/dream i have ever seen. It sounds stupid, but i woke up so happy. And the best part, i REMEMBERED my dream! I haven't remembered a dream in over a year!!!
  

.

Edited January 29, 2013 by Searchingsoul9

[FALCON]

Hey baby girl I Reid your post so senser and so honest I think your head is in the right place you are a good person you are way to young to have all this shit hanging over your head you will be OK someday soon you know it takes time and effort to get to the place you want to be my hunch tells me you will make it jest keep that great will power going I jest Reid about. Talk to you in tomorrow.

Your friend FALCON

[Heather67]

I believe someone may have posted something like this before, but i decided i should do my own, just in case i find myself craving some of those life-ruining, soul-crushing pills that we like to call adderall. Like a friend reminder as to why i decided to quit in the first place. Please add on if you have anything to share.

• I realized i actually did NOT want my brain to turn to mush. Being slightly dramatic, but i have noticed i am not as quick and witty as i once was. I am slow, always at a loss for words, forgetting absolutely anything and everything. I really don't want to wake up one day and have it be too late. I don't want want to become less and less intelligent as each day passes. Then the term 'older and wiser' would NOT apply to me.
  
• I don't want my teeth to fall out...or whatever happens when you abuse adderall for a while. I did notice they became more yellow and have lost a ton more enamel, but i could attribute that to my bulimia :-/
  
• I want to REALLY enjoy sex again!!! TMI perhaps, but i used to be able to have a good orgasm. Ever since the adderall, can't cum for the life of me. Sure i enjoy sex, but never get that 'reward' lmao and never find myself horny either.
  
• I miss my sense of humor. I am not your stereotypical adhd, bouncing off the walls person. I am shy at first, but once you get to know me i am a total goofball, like to laugh and make others laugh. But not on adderall. I am a boring, robotic, monotone loser on adderall.
  
• I am not kind on adderall. I used to be the type of person to take care of friends and family, feel bad for them, very selfless to a fault. But since abusing the pills i became extremely selfish and oblivious to others and their needs. Especially my loved ones.
  
• I am scared if i keep taking adderall that i will never find love. I am not looking for love, nor do i think i am ready to get back into a relationship nor want to at this point. BUT i do at SOME point and if i kept abusing the pills i would have no idea how to open up to someone. I have had sexual encounters on the adderall, but whenever someone tried to get to know me on a deeper level or ask me questions about my feelings, i literally froze up. No words came out of my mouth. A robot does not love. A robot does not feel. And i clearly was a robot.
  
• I want so desperately to develop a healthy lifestyle with food!!! Off adderall i am still struggling with bulimia, yes. But on it, i was barely eating anything, then i would drink a shitton of vodka and most of the time binge and purge anyways. So it was that much worse on the pills.
  
• I can't exercise for shit on adderall. I have no desire to anyways, but i was too scared i would have a heart attack if i ran on the treadmill high.
  
• I don't want to get all old, ugly, and wrinkled and faster than i have to! And from what i have read, adderall ages you faster than normal. Big surprise.
  
• I want my blue fingers to go the fuck and stay the fuck away!!! Talk about embarrassing.
  
• I want to be able to go to sleep without the help of a downer!
  
• I want to be able to wake up and get through a normal day without the help of an upper.
  
• THE ADDERALL CRASH!!!!! One of the biggest issues i had with adderall. The crash was debilitating. I have NO idea how i got through the crash the first few months abusing adderall. After the first few months i started turning to heavy drinking and weed to alleviate the crash
  
• READING BOOKS. I have always loved to read, but i haven't read a book since the day i started adderall. I felt it was a waste of time. Time i could spend shopping, wasting money on shit i don't want or need, cleaning, spending 2 hours trying to decide what kind of cupcake recipe i should use to bake cupcakes that i wouldn't eat, organizing and color coordinating my closet, painting my nails 7 different times in one day! (i kid you not, i went back and forth to kmat 3 times in 2 hours just because i needed the perfect colors.
  
• I will never quit cigarettes if i didn't quit adderall.
  
• I used to be a more positive person. Not like 'look at what a beautiful day it is today! lets all sing and hold hands!' but i had hope and lots of it. I could be a negative cunt sometimes, we all have our days. But on adderall, everyday is negative ass bitch day. I don't like being a pessimistic pissant.
  
• I wont be considered an alcoholic anymore because i wont have the need to be throwing back 4-15 shots of vodka a night. I never was much of a drinker before the adderall. Yeah, i like to drink on weekends with friends, but on adderall it was outta control. Drinking alone every night, just to get to sleep.
  
• SLEEP. I love sleep now. Once again. Sleep is my friend. Sleep is beautiful!!!!!! Sleep is my escape! Not pills.
  
• I want to have kids and a family one day. And i don't want adderall fucking that up.
  

Well, im fucking tired and have to wake up in like 6 hours. There's many more reasons, but this is all for tonight.

.

HONEST AND FUNNY AND BLUNT AND ABSOLUTELY FUCKING PERFECT.

[lea]

Very thoughtful and inspiring!

[Searchingsoul9]

Very thoughtful and inspiring!

Thank you, ill be adding more i forgot about a ton! haha

[Searchingsoul9]

HONEST AND FUNNY AND BLUNT AND ABSOLUTELY FUCKING PERFECT.

I am very glad you like!

[Motivation_Follows_Action]

So many of these things have whirred around in my head for such a long time, including the eating disorder stuff. I do think there is a correlation between women who take adderall and women with eating disorders. Makes sense - adderall makes you skinny.

One thing you brought up is something I havne't seen on the boards much is about sex. I really am not sure about others' experiences on/off adderall with sex. Because of the depression that accompanies withdrawal, my libido has been pretty much at an all time low recently (also because weight gain doesn't make you feel like the most desirable beast in the world); but on adderall my sex drive would vary wildly - sometimes I was insatiable (maybe it was the disinhibitation effect of the dopamine?), other times sex felt like a huge waste of time. Maybe that's just me. One thing I will say is that emotion-accompanying-sex does return after you come off the adderall, and that to me is the best sex... I'm old-fashioned like that.

[Cat]

Thanks for starting this. I wanted to contribute to have a record of all the reasons, just in case I am ever dumb enough to think about doing it again.

Health/physical reasons

• Racing heart and blood pressure
  
• Gum pain and tenderness. This was one of the worst side effects for me. I would do this suction thing in my mouth without realizing it, and it was so bad that my dentist said my gums were receding. Gross!
  
• Teeth grinding
  
• Hair thinning
  
• WEIRD health problems that I swear were related to adderall. I have always been super healthy overall, but I started coming down with weird shit. Like shingles. It is quite rare for someone in their 20s to get shingles, but I did and I swear it was from the stress of adderall.
  

All of the physical side effects stopped immediately when I quit.

Other reasons

• Lower sex drive
  
• Irritability and anxiety
  
• Drinking too much
  
• Mush brain, words didn't come easily, my writing suffered
  
• Couldn't sleep without a sleep med
  
• Fear of being addicted for the rest of my life
  

[Motivation_Follows_Action]

• WEIRD health problems that I swear were related to adderall. I have always been super healthy overall, but I started coming down with weird shit. Like shingles. It is quite rare for someone in their 20s to get shingles, but I did and I swear it was from the stress of adderall.
  

Shingles OWWW! And yes, the strange health problems were nasty. My toenails and fingernails started breaking and flaking!?! And once I had a tooth crack right in half. That was fun to explain to my dentist, "no doc, I have Nooooo idea how that could have happened, it's not like any of my medication has changed or anything!" yeah, right.

[ashley6]

My tooth just finished cracking in half like two months ago. I've had a root canal and so many cavities. They said I have strong enamel, so it was in the way I was (or wasn't) taking care of my teeth, um, adderall and a high sugar diet! I'm afraid I'm going to have dentures in 15 years.

[quit-once]

NUTS! I had to quit eating nuts before quitting adderall. By about the third time I broke a tooth or a crown or a filling while eating mixed nuts, I asked my dentist if I should quit nuts, and he said: If you wanna eat nuts, eat nuts... and I'll fix your teeth for ya. I quit eating nuts anyway cuz my teeth just couldn't handle it. Adderall was HELL on my teeth too. Actually it was hard on the whole mouth: like biting my cheek or tongue, weak gums, dry mouth and bad breath.

Since quitting, my teeth have recovered 100%. It took about a year before I resumed eating nuts. Now I have a daily serving of planters hard nuts, and my teeth seem like they can handle just about anything I wanna chomp. They make these 200 calorie packs now. I no longer have to be careful of what I eat because of weak teeth.

Hey Ashley - that first sentence of your last post gave me the best laugh of the day! And I wasn't laughing at your problem it just cracked me up on first read. Anyway sugar is a killer for your tooth enamel and I believe it is bad for your body in general. I think your teeth will be just fine in time.

[olivia115]

Ashley the same thing just happened to me too! I hate the dentist, it's probably the only thing I'm terrified of, and I just had to have an emergency root canal too. I know I used to chew the pills too, which makes me cringe for my poor teeth now! Gotta make sure I always have that dental insurance

[SomedayDreamer]

• WEIRD health problems that I swear were related to adderall. I have always been super healthy overall, but I started coming down with weird shit. Like shingles. It is quite rare for someone in their 20s to get shingles, but I did and I swear it was from the stress of adderall.
  

I never connected the dots until you mentioned this.. Prior to adderall, I got cold sores maybe once every few years. But in the past 6 years, I got recurrent bouts of the nastiest cold sores around my mouth (and 3 times on my freakin' eyelid!) when on adderall.

Along with the teeth grinding, I also used to suck and roll my tongue on the back of my teeth until I could taste blood. Three years ago, I had my first ever root canal after cracking the 3rd molar.. the dentist told me "your fillings are as shiny as chrome, you either eat a ton of unrefined grains or you grind your teeth like hell!" ... uh, yeah unrefined grains.

[Heather67]

And the really cool tic.....I hum. So fuckin much when I was on it,I was like a one girl band!!!! Especially when I was on full throttle all up in a project...I'd catch it and go "what the fuck"..so loud. It subsides when I'm off it,but it remains still just not as loud! !! I still have a lot of ghost side effects...things induced by addies tho your not on them. Like pains where the amputated limb was.

[Searchingsoul9]

Thanks for starting this. I wanted to contribute to have a record of all the reasons, just in case I am ever dumb enough to think about doing it again.

Health/physical reasons

• Racing heart and blood pressure
  
• Gum pain and tenderness. This was one of the worst side effects for me. I would do this suction thing in my mouth without realizing it, and it was so bad that my dentist said my gums were receding. Gross!
  
• Teeth grinding
  
• Hair thinning
  
• WEIRD health problems that I swear were related to adderall. I have always been super healthy overall, but I started coming down with weird shit. Like shingles. It is quite rare for someone in their 20s to get shingles, but I did and I swear it was from the stress of adderall.
  

All of the physical side effects stopped immediately when I quit.

Other reasons

• Lower sex drive
  
• Irritability and anxiety
  
• Drinking too much
  
• Mush brain, words didn't come easily, my writing suffered
  
• Couldn't sleep without a sleep med
  
• Fear of being addicted for the rest of my life
  

Ah, the gum things! I wasn't sure why, but as of like 3 days ago i noticed my gums receding by my k-9 teeth! Ah, but it didn't start until i stopped the adderall. Weird. Mush brain definitely is a big one.

[Searchingsoul9]

My tooth just finished cracking in half like two months ago. I've had a root canal and so many cavities. They said I have strong enamel, so it was in the way I was (or wasn't) taking care of my teeth, um, adderall and a high sugar diet! I'm afraid I'm going to have dentures in 15 years.

Eugh me too. This plus bulimia...i haven't been to the dentist in years because i am too scared

[StillHereSomewhere]

Sorry, I feel kinda weird posting shit online in a forum to people i dont know. I don't even have a facebook, but what the hell. I just kicked adderall a little under a week ago and since then, my girlfriend dumped me (so goes it...), I failed an Organic Chemistry exam (how the fuck did I end up in O-Chem, I wanted to go to film school!), and got my wisdom teeth removed (which nothing to do with adderall, just kinda sucks). I woke up at about 4 this morning from the same kind of stupid, mundane, nightmares I've been having that are generally synonymous with the same stupid, mundane shit I get super anxious about in the daytime. It's now 8 a.m., my house is a mess, and I should be getting up to go to school. However I'm not here to burden you with my self-loathing and seek pity. Actually, quite the opposite.

I stumbled upon the forum after I decided I couldn't sleep anymore and found this post and it cracked me up. Beyond the fact that it's spot-on in every aspect, it's witty and funny, mildly neurotic (and I mean that in all kindness!) and humorously self-deprecating in a way that someone who really knows themselves could be (whether you believe it or not). Like i said earlier, i feel a little creepy outwardly praising someone over the internet, so you'll have to excuse all the parentheses explaining myself. Anyway, I was gearing up for a shitty day and I think I can scratch that. I cant tell you how fucking nice it is to hear some of this stuff, or really all of it, but some in particular. I MISS READING!! I picked up a book (David Sedaris, who always makes me laugh) and actually read it for more than 5 minutes! In a dirty house!!

I also really needed to kick the drinking. I became the person who could study til 3 am and put back a bottle of whiskey in the meantime. I'm only 20. To be honest, I kinda miss smoking weed. I know this isn't a "hey, lets reminisce on the good ol' pothead days" forum, but I think its kind of relevant. I moved out to Colorado and the majority of my friends have "medical issues". Even before I started taking this crap, which really did get my life on track (to where I have no clue, but at least not working minimum wage), I kind of cut back on smoking. After I started, I could barely smoke at all w/o going into what my buddies liked to call "robot mode." I fucking hate robot mode. I can't tell you how much i miss being goofy and making people laugh, let alone generally talking to people without being at least half drunk. My friends are surprised if i even pick up my phone anymore. I stopped playing instruments or writing for fun and really doing anything creative. I somehow became a biochem major... Also, I'm pretty sure my girlfriend got sick of the fact that I'd rather do homework til the odd hours of the morning than have sex. Being the MOST emotionally detached person on the planet probably didn't help my case either. Just a hunch.

Anyway, its been really nice to read something like this, hope all is going well. Im running on about three hours of sleep and a stomach full of lasagna (my big and more importantly ONLY accomplishment yesterday), but I actually feel kinda good. It's nice to know that other people are actually dealing with this. I've dealt with the "addiction recovery" setting, which was really more a byproduct of pissed off parents back in high school, but it seemed different to discuss a more common "addiction". Given my persona, or at least what i thought was my persona, and being a guy (which shouldn't make a difference), it seemed like the right move was to keep it to myself. I was just gonna write a sentence or two, but this has been kind of a relief. So thanks. Seriously.

P.S. Has the head twitching gone away at all? I literally have to sit in class with my hand under my chin, looking like the Auguste Rodin sculpture ("the thinker"), except the only thing I'm thinking about is how fucking stupid i look twitching out like a crackhead. I also smoke like a chimney and freak out if I dont have a pack of gum. Some of the muscle twitching has gone away since i kicked it, and the residuals could be because of the 5 billion energy drinks I've been consuming just to get up and go to school.

P.S.S. The dentist blows!! (not really discouraging it, just a side fact)

[Searchingsoul9]

Sorry, I feel kinda weird posting shit online in a forum to people i dont know. I don't even have a facebook, but what the hell. I just kicked adderall a little under a week ago and since then, my girlfriend dumped me (so goes it...), I failed an Organic Chemistry exam (how the fuck did I end up in O-Chem, I wanted to go to film school!), and got my wisdom teeth removed (which nothing to do with adderall, just kinda sucks). I woke up at about 4 this morning from the same kind of stupid, mundane, nightmares I've been having that are generally synonymous with the same stupid, mundane shit I get super anxious about in the daytime. It's now 8 a.m., my house is a mess, and I should be getting up to go to school. However I'm not here to burden you with my self-loathing and seek pity. Actually, quite the opposite.

I stumbled upon the forum after I decided I couldn't sleep anymore and found this post and it cracked me up. Beyond the fact that it's spot-on in every aspect, it's witty and funny, mildly neurotic (and I mean that in all kindness!) and humorously self-deprecating in a way that someone who really knows themselves could be (whether you believe it or not). Like i said earlier, i feel a little creepy outwardly praising someone over the internet, so you'll have to excuse all the parentheses explaining myself. Anyway, I was gearing up for a shitty day and I think I can scratch that. I cant tell you how fucking nice it is to hear some of this stuff, or really all of it, but some in particular. I MISS READING!! I picked up a book (David Sedaris, who always makes me laugh) and actually read it for more than 5 minutes! In a dirty house!!

I also really needed to kick the drinking. I became the person who could study til 3 am and put back a bottle of whiskey in the meantime. I'm only 20. To be honest, I kinda miss smoking weed. I know this isn't a "hey, lets reminisce on the good ol' pothead days" forum, but I think its kind of relevant. I moved out to Colorado and the majority of my friends have "medical issues". Even before I started taking this crap, which really did get my life on track (to where I have no clue, but at least not working minimum wage), I kind of cut back on smoking. After I started, I could barely smoke at all w/o going into what my buddies liked to call "robot mode." I fucking hate robot mode. I can't tell you how much i miss being goofy and making people laugh, let alone generally talking to people without being at least half drunk. My friends are surprised if i even pick up my phone anymore. I stopped playing instruments or writing for fun and really doing anything creative. I somehow became a biochem major... Also, I'm pretty sure my girlfriend got sick of the fact that I'd rather do homework til the odd hours of the morning than have sex. Being the MOST emotionally detached person on the planet probably didn't help my case either. Just a hunch.

Anyway, its been really nice to read something like this, hope all is going well. Im running on about three hours of sleep and a stomach full of lasagna (my big and more importantly ONLY accomplishment yesterday), but I actually feel kinda good. It's nice to know that other people are actually dealing with this. I've dealt with the "addiction recovery" setting, which was really more a byproduct of pissed off parents back in high school, but it seemed different to discuss a more common "addiction". Given my persona, or at least what i thought was my persona, and being a guy (which shouldn't make a difference), it seemed like the right move was to keep it to myself. I was just gonna write a sentence or two, but this has been kind of a relief. So thanks. Seriously.

P.S. Has the head twitching gone away at all? I literally have to sit in class with my hand under my chin, looking like the Auguste Rodin sculpture ("the thinker"), except the only thing I'm thinking about is how fucking stupid i look twitching out like a crackhead. I also smoke like a chimney and freak out if I dont have a pack of gum. Some of the muscle twitching has gone away since i kicked it, and the residuals could be because of the 5 billion energy drinks I've been consuming just to get up and go to school.

P.S.S. The dentist blows!! (not really discouraging it, just a side fact)

Why thank you! I am mildly neurotic But, who isn't?

How was the book? I am 2 weeks into recovery and i have yet to get far into a book. I got 2 pages deep and got sidetracked, but hey- more than i read on adderall!

Robot mode! Good title for it. On addies, one or two hits of weed would put me in full on robot mode for hours. Introverted, sketchy, weird. So fucking weird. I hated that too.

I really hope you keep posted and swing by the site often. I swear, it helped me more than i could explain.

I mean, i honestly thought i was never going to quit. I know, i know, everyone thinks that. But, i really saw myself accepting my fate of being addicted to this forever. This site helped me prove myself wrong.

There is life beyond adderall and once you get there you will realize just how much more fulfilling it can be.

This may be a weird example, but i was dating this guy for over 2 years. I was MADLY in love with him, like we had a veru unhealthy relationship (sort of like my relationship with adderall) he was abusive and my first serious bf. Despite all the horrible things he did to me, i still loved him deeply. Eventually, i got sick of the ups and downs (adderall much? lol) i grew to hate him. It just happened. I began to really hate him and wished he would leave me. Godsend..he got arrested. Once he was gone i missed him. All i could think of were the good times. But, over a month or two i really got over it. I used to think i would sooner die than live without him. And here i am 3 years later, he is still scum and i have not an ounce of regret or love towards him. Moral of my story, no matter how much you believe you NEED someone or something to live...you don't. As long as you tell yourself 'this will pass' and keep telling yourself that, it will. I promise you, time indeed does heal all wounds.

Just keep on keeping on!

P.S Holy shit! I thought i was the only one! The head twitching. How long have you been off the pills? Because while i was on them the twitching was bad. Like you said, in class i too would sit there looking like the 'thinker' just holding my goddamn head up because it felt all spazzy and twitchy if i held up my own weight! I don't get it nearly as bad as i did on adderall, but i do notice in my lecture class i have mini neck spasms. I can't sit up straight and hold myself up with good posture. I don't know why. Maybe the coffee.

And the dentist does blow! I have to get my ass there soon though. Think i got my first cavity, crap.

[Motivation_Follows_Action]

StillHereSomewhere, I'm really happy you posted and can relate. Stick around, there's some pretty amazing folks on here and yes there is some neuroticism and perfectionism and self-criticism and other common traits, but one thing I love about this forum and I've never seen anywhere else is how SUPPORTIVE people on here are.

You've made the right choice to quit. It's the first step.

[Zerokewl]

great post *bump*

[lunax]

great post *bump*

Such a great post

[Searchingsoul9]

Such a great post

Wow, forgot i posted this one. 

Wish i felt as clear headed as i sounded then right now. 

[Jon]

I learned a lot from reading this thread. Thank you SearchingSoul9.

[Searchingsoul9]

I learned a lot from reading this thread. Thank you SearchingSoul9.

My Pleasure

[MassExodus]

Hi everyone,

I hate to ask this but seriously, this is now a major concern.

Having read the whole original post and a few replies, I'm thinking this might be the source of my issue.

 

I will be blunt and at risk of complete humilation - here's the deal.

 

I'm a 47 guy, healthy, exercise, on Adderall for about half a year.

Never had much in the way of sexual dysfunction.

 

Lately - orgasms are TOTALLY missfiring.

Sometimes as I've read here today, it'sbeen tough to reach orgasm, pulling teeth at times.

What's even more concerning now is that when I have lately, it's like an internal controlling mechanism fails (sphincter muscle ?) and what used to be a torrent - just allows things fizzle out, negating the needed build-up etc.
WTF ?