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Krax

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Posts posted by Krax

  6. What have you learned from recovery?

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    I learned to appreciate things I took for granted. I don't know where I would be now had I never taken speed, but I know there is some insight I now have that I wouldn't without having gone through the addiction, abuse and recovery. For instance I now appreciate the natural God-given dopamine releasing mechanisms that I previously didn't realize I was getting pleasure from.

    • Like 4

  10. I hate not being on adderall

    in Tell your story

    Posted

    This forum on this site is super. I hadn't really decided to quit until I read parts of this site. WOW! It feels like I belong here.

     

    I have been on adderall for several years; after my first pill my world changed. I could work 7 days a week, from 5 am till 7 pm. I was teaching then, and i just got so great, and cool, and funny, and sleepless, and LOUD.  And it has continued to change, and now I sound like a crazy nut when I go to the cafe at my retirement community. I have been here for 5 years and I can sleep all day if I want to. But it is still fun to be cool. Guess I didn't mention I have had serious depression for many years (am on meds and see a doctor weekly.)  Being funny is a real joy for a person with depression. I fantasize about being a stand-up comic. (Course here I would probably simply be a sit down-comic.) Anyway, I cut my dose by 25 % and already I can tell I am boring.

     

    I hope I can be old and still be on this forum. Am I the only one? I have searched for a site like this for years!!! You are the one and only one that feels right, so I hope I can stay.

    I'm 48 and even though many of the other members are less than half my age, the similarities in our experience with this drug are staggering, so your age whatever it is is no barrier to sharing here. Good to have you.

    • Like 3

  12. CBA - Cost Benefit Analysis

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    You guys are the best! :)

    Thanks Krax. Yeah, that's really crappy about your wife's father. Have you ever told him how you felt about him making those comments?

    Cassie, that's great advice. I actually figured out a big part of my issue was going on back at the pill and it totally jacked me up for the past few months. I quit taking it this past week and I'm feeling so much better. I haven't been taking my vitamins either so I will give that a shot and see if that helps.

    Z- this video is perfect! I love it. Thank you! :)

    No in that era it was common my mom told my sister the same thing

  13. CBA - Cost Benefit Analysis

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    This is getting really exciting fast. Krax- I love what you said. Yes, I am one of those people that has suffered with all that crap for a long time. It's my biggest challenge to date, but I am working through it still and have lots of hope that one day I will be fully recovered. As always, just a work in progress.

    You're absolutely right about the media/advertising today. It does not help. What I 've learned does help is having unconditional love and support like you mentioned and to keep all focus off this matter.

    I think having you for a father will help your daughter immensely as your opinion I'm sure she values way more than some stupid ass doctor. She is so lucky to have you!

     

    Well you sound like you're doing great - like I said I know it's particularly tough for women in our culture, Thanks for saying that about my girl. I am particularly sensitive to it because my wife's father told her repeatedly she was overweight in high school, and my blood boils just thinking about it.

  15. CBA - Cost Benefit Analysis

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    I don't have weight/body image issues myself, but from what I understand, women that do are more concerned about how other women see them rather than men. So the pursuit of skinniness is for other women. Not saying liltex or anyone has body issues, just what I've read about women with eating disorders and negative body image. And magazines are all about promoting an unattainable body image because their goal is to have you compare yourself to other women and buy their products because you feel inadequate.

     

    Cassie I understand and I know this doesn't make a difference, but who runs those media outlets? Don't get me wrong men can be just as influenced and messed up by media messages as women (maybe in different ways), but I'm just saying. One other thing, just to add, is that I can honestly tell you that were I single and interested in a particular female -  and I doubt I'm that unusual - if she had  added or subtracted 10 or 20 pounds - It would not make a difference in my being interested in her. I may prefer one way or the other, and none of us are perfect, but really, it wouldn't change my mind about her.

     

    I have women in my life that struggle with weight and it just frustrates me what the media BS does to women and girls.  I had a  (female) doctor tell my daughter she was overweight when she wasn't at all (nobody thinks that she is, the women looks at this height/weight chart and just tells her she's fat. My daughter has more muscle mass, which weighs then fat, from her dancing, but she is NOT FAT). I was pissed! Who tells a 17 year old girl that? What is this, the 1950's? 

    • Like 2

  16. CBA - Cost Benefit Analysis

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    I have news for you ladies on this weight thing: most guys don't like women that look like 10 year old boys anyways.  I, like many guys would rather have a woman have  excess weight then not enough, seriously. The media and the fashion industry are run by gay guys. They don't like women anyways. They create this impression of what makes a woman physically attractive, and it isn't what most straight guys want.  Isn't that what defines attractiveness?  What the opposite sex wants?  If I was single and I hit on a gal, and she was straight and rejected me, it would hurt my feelings. If she was a lesbian, I wouldn't care. See what I mean?  I am sympathetic to you ladies because I know it's hard to find clothes and all, but I just had to throw that out there.

    • Like 3

  18. Testosterone boosters?

    in Supplements, Energy Drinks, and Alternatives

    Posted

    Hello all

    I was wonder if anyone else's biggest drawback from being adderall-free is what I'm experiencing.

    Low self confidence. Poor social interaction. I've been going to the gym and I'm hoping that can make up for the confidence gap. I know testosterone is associated with dominance and confidence. Just wanted to see if testosterone was a good filler for adderall? What are your experiences?

     

    I would say that there is no filler for adderall. You don't replace it with something, or fill the gap that exists without it with something else. Recovery is learning to live without it, not replacing it. It's hard I know.

    • Like 3

  20. Adderall Ruined my Sex Life

    in Tell your story

    Posted

    I have always been ADHD and diagnosed with it since the age of 10. Long story short. I have been on Adderall the past 2 years; Went from making $11.25 an hour to $35 an hour. Made me advance in my career really efficiently to say the least.

     

    The side effect:

    I am in a state of depression. I am a straight 24 year old male and I haven't had sex or a girlfriend in 2 years. I have a very high IQ, am extremely athletic, good looking, and have plenty of male friends. I am extremely outgoing and confident.

     

    Unfortunately, due to Adderalls tendency to overstimulate the "logical" side of the brain it has stopped me from building connections with females. I talk and I'll be thinking of the spreading of Ideas and concepts. Unfortunately, that's not the type of talk that turns women on, and you can see how that was an obstacle to my sex life. It would also make me overthink and question myself making me lose my sexual confidence.I would micro-manage every part of the conversation. This would obviously make female counterparts feel uncomfortable, as I would come off as hesitant and "creepy."

     

    Furthermore, I have been hypersexual. Adderal mixed with wellbutrin was an awful combination and I would find myself masturbating over 7 times a day. This would deplete my dopamine levels and as a result exacerbate my anxiety making it even harder to develop relationships with the opposite sex.

     

    I have been withering down Adderal to a mere 20mg a day (XR). The change did successfully allow me to feel a range of emotions better. However, I am still "creepy." I need to get rid of amphetamines all together. I was originally prescribed 60 mg XR. My main fear from quitting Adderal is both losing my job and gaining weight. I fitness model so my bodyfat % is extremely important to me.

     

    Tomorrow will be the first day I quit cold turkey. I am looking forward to it. Sometimes on days I don't take it, I get this happiness that I used to get when talking to a girl I like. It's like I laugh and all of a sudden not micro-managing my conversation. I would trade anything to be able to get that feeling again. I want to be human. Even my colleagues at work will overlook my worsened performance if I get my real personality back.

     

     

    I am 48 and married 20 + years, so in a bit of a different circumstance then you, but I can tell you that during my 4.5 years on speed my sex drive sucked.  

     

    There was a link to a video on one of these posts awhile back, and in it it was explained that arousal releases dopamine (like speed or food or booze), but that the chemical result or experience of an orgasm is more like an opiate.  So, my non-scientific conclusion is that while you are a speed user you don't care about dopamine from other sources (it doesn't do much for you) i,e, the arousal, but that you want the opiate rush (orgasm). So of course, this isn't good for having sex with women, as you just want to get off ASAP.

     

    After a few months clean it came back pretty strong.

    • Like 2

  21. ADD is not real

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    There's some belief that ADHD is biological, rather than genetic. It's been linked to early childhood trauma. Meaning, people have a genetic predisposition to developing it, but their early experiences determine whether those neural differences develop. As far as prevalence across cultures- access to health care, education about the disorder, and stigma around the disorder and medication are huge factors that come into play here. There is no way to accurately determine the prevalence of any disorder across cultures because of the impact of these factors. 

     

    Sorry, I'm a cognitive psychologist that specializes in ADHD so I'm pretty passionate about the issue. More than anything, I think it's really important for people to be educated about, PROPERLY diagnosed (I use 7 separate assessments), and treated for ADHD (with or w/out meds) because otherwise, it can cause a host of serious problems for people including...................stimulant addiction.

    http://jonrappoport.wordpress.com/2014/09/08/vaccine-fraud-what-about-psychiatric-fraud-staggering/

  25. ADD is not real

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    It may be real but let's not pretend people are born with a dopamine deficiency. It's most definitely a result of cultural/social factors. How many Asian and Indian children are given ritalin because they can't focus on their schoolwork.

    I've have read in a number of posts the assertion that there is a dopamine deficiency in ADHD sufferers, but am wondering for those who believe this if they are aware of any scientific evidence supporting this belief?

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