Krax
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Posts posted by Krax
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I'm on my iPad so I can't give you a detailed response, but would say hang in there, we've all been there or are there, and you might ask your dr about Wellbutrin
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Computer music production doesn't sound banal until you do it on amphetamine
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I am thinking that perhaps the previous motivation and enthusiasm we all felt and that we believe is missing - and I certainly experience this on a daily basis - is really the result of being now the wiser and that our pre adderall goal oriented personality was really the result of faulty thinking that has actually been corrected by our experience with and from using speed. Maybe our particular persoanlities are what made this drug so attractive. Does this make sense to anyone else? I don't have the enthusiasm I had before using, but when I think about my thinking back then, it was formed so much along delusional ideas that I now see as such. I don't believe I would have this realization now though, at least not so clearly, had I never gone through the abuse, addiction, and recovery.
I'm not trying to sound so remote and probably should give some specific examples, I'm just trying to generalize my theory. I guess I don't have the motivation and enthusiasm I remember having in pert because I see a lot of the thinking I use to have that probably had a lot to do with this M and E as bullshit. I think my current thinking is more accurate, and so ya I don't work under the delusions I use to, and as a result I have less enthusiasm, but I don't think I want to go back to being delusional either. I just have to find a way to get things done.
I hope this is helpful and I am interested if anyone else has a similar perspective
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Krax. Where have you been??
just been getting through the days, thanks,
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awhile back someone mentioned this powder called Craze or Kraze, it is marketed for body builders. I got some and it tasted like tang, and ya, it felt suspiciously alot like adderall. I googled and read some scary stuff about the manufacturer. Who knows what was in that stuff.
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I don't think I've ever seen this discussed on the forum, but I came across this website today:
http://totallyaddshop.com/products/add-loving-it?_ga=1.141563761.271408384.1399677796#.U21liPldWyV
advertising the video, ADD and Loving It. This company must be funded by the pharmaceutical industry, in the trailer for the film they start talking about how great the meds are, and how terrible ADD is if "left untreated," and then this lady says an aspirin is more dangerous to kids then ritalin.
Totally disgusting.
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Hang in there, is your GF on board with the quit?
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Thanks I'll try thatKrax,
I've been making myself "homemade vitamin waters" -- I drink with lunch or throughout the day and I'm really digging them. Very refreshing, a tiny pick me up and helps you drink more water without even realizing it.
It's just regular old water mixed with some fresh fruit and/or lemon and cucumber slices and/or spices.
I mix it in a 4cup (2 pints) mason jar but a water bottle or pitcher would work as well.
Today I had chilled water mixed with 2 large (chopped) strawberries, 3 blackberries (cut in half), and half a lemon (sliced in wheels) and the other half squeezed into the water. When you run out of water, just add more. I love it. Your drinking more water while getting more natural vitamins and some extra energy.
There are so many combos:
Lemon and cucumber
Strawberry and Kiwi slices
Strawberry, blueberry and blackberry
Mint and Strawberry
Mint and Lemon
Lime and Strawberry
Strawberry and cucumber
Lemon, Lime and Orange slices
Lemon and Ginger
I've made a Detox Apple Cinnamon water once, as well…
The possibilities are endless and this is so GOOD for summer. I know it's nothing like a cup of coffee but drinking this throughout the day can be beneficial, especially overtime.
You can also do this with green tea (or anykind of tea but first brew it as you would normally) -- make it an ice green tea with added ice, lemon, fruit slices and fresh sliced ginger.
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Eating Superfoods (kale, almonds, etc.) and foods high in protein also may help.
There are also new natural and/or organic energy shots (like 5 hour energy) but healthier, you can find at health food stores.
Goodluck!
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That's awesome Kev!!! Great job!!! What are you doing differently this time to stay clean? Any new insights to share with the newbies out there still trying to quit?
Krax,
You've been clean for awhile now, right?
Yes my official quit November 15, 2012, with a one day slip up late January, 2013. Sorry if my post sounded negative I was just thinking and venting a bit.
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I often wish I could return to that 4-5 week clean point, when I could sleep, eat, rediscover my libido, without these pesky feelings and emotions having yet returned.
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Seinfeld is a great pitch man. I looked into pricing.
Adult: $1310+ GST
Student: $655+ GST
Children under 10: $327.50+ GST
Family (parents and all dependent children 18 years and under) $2145+ GST
I don't think it can do any harm. But its alot of money. I think an afternoon in the library reading up on meditation teqniques would have the same effect.
True dat
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Yeah I saw it. I liked it. I thought it was going to be more connection to addiction but I found it just to be a really good movie with a good plot.
I would say flight, the lost weekend and smashed (with jessie from breaking bad) are good recovery type movies to watch,
Yeah I saw it. I liked it. I thought it was going to be more connection to addiction but I found it just to be a really good movie with a good plot.
I would say flight, the lost weekend and smashed (with jessie from breaking bad) are good recovery type movies to watch,
Flight was great I haven't seen the other two you mentioned yet
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I am staying the hell away from that stuff!
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That TM stuff seems kinda cult like. I don't know how it differs from regular meditaion.
Ya I know it sounds great but the way these celebs are all over it reminds me of scientology or something
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I eat pretty good. Wife makes me a smoothie in the morning, and usually a sandwhich or leftovers for lunch. Try to drink a lot of water. I use the elilptical 5 days a week, or we go on walks.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPLn1ZgGxos
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transcendental_Meditation
I ignored their past political history and what I perceive to be "fringe" element and went in with an open mind. It's helped immensely so far.
Did you go to a class or something?
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I've had the same experience, Krax, but took me a while to figure out!
I recently started doing TM 2x/day. It's only been a couple weeks, but I feel refreshed and invigorated after my after my afternoon meditation.
It's 20 minutes a session, and I feel a little awkward closing the door to my office in the afternoon and turning off the phone, but hey - I used to wait about 20 minutes to come up on Adderall at least 2x/day so what the hell?
Thanks I appreciate your input - is there a resource you can direct me to to find out more about TM?
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I've been clean for over a year. I recently realized how much of my anxiety for the last few months has been the result of drinking too much caffeine, so I've cut my coffee down and that is great, but as I have for some time now in the afternoon I just can't get moving to do stuff. So I would welcome and appreciate ideas for dealing with this, that do not include caffeine. Thanks.
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I have suffered from chronic year round allergies all of my adult life. First of all, I would appreciate it if I did not receive any armchair unsolicited however well meaning advice from people who have minor or no allergies on how to alleviate the symptoms. That is very annoying to someone like me.
What I am interested in is if anyone has had the experience of dealing with this as part of recovery. When taking Ritalin they were less bothersome not that they were better only that I was very unattached from my physical being. Now that I'm over a year clean they really bother me. I can enjoy food and sex again, but my allergies are a real detriment, anyone else experienced this?
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Just watched film on netflix called side effects, interesting plot involving the corrupt pharmaceutical complex many of us have talked about on the forums. I am kind of surprised it got released, anyone else seen it?
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I was in a very similar situation. I didn't start until sophomore year of college, and by senior year I couldn't imagine life without it. I felt like I was at my worst though about 6 months after I graduated. I think the transition from college to being part of the "real world" can be one of the hardest times of a person's life. I moved to a new city as well, and I was not prepared for how long and stressful searching for a job was going to be. I also felt really depressed because I never saw my friends anymore, who I used to see everyday while in college. Because I was at such an unstable time in my life, I felt more dependent on adderall than ever, but I didn't know that the adderall was most likely making my depression even worse.
The following summer I went on vacation with my family, and I decided to take that opportunity to try to not take any adderall. It wasn't easy at first, but I was in an environment where I didn't feel the pressure of job hunting, and didn't feel guilty about spending a lot of time resting. After that I stayed off adderall for almost a year, and felt great about it. Unfortunately, I have relapsed, but I'm at a point where I only take it a few times a week, and since I know I'm capable of quitting I don't have that fear that I won't be able to function without it.
My story is probably not the most helpful, but I guess my point is that you're not alone, and you're at an especially difficult time in your life, so try not to be too hard on yourself. If you have a few days where you don't have anything planned, maybe try seeing what happens if you don't take any adderall. Also, don't worry too much about not being able to hold a job without being on adderall. I have found that it's actually easier for me to get through the day without adderall if I'm working, but on the weekends I have nothing motivating me to get out of bed (which is why I relapsed).
Were you abusing it (exceeding the dosage) when using it on a regular basis? I ask because based on the experiences most people relate, I would say that it is unusual to then quit for almost 1 year and then go back to using occasionally. I'm just curious, thanks
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Yes, im on wellbutrin 300mg a day. I feel like it makes me angry :/
So ur from illinois?? Do u come to il anymore? Family here?
And thNks for the advice on that other post
that sounds like a high dose, have you asked your Dr about dropping down and only in the morning?
I was born in Rockford but moved a couple times until I was about 5 when we moved to OR. No my relatives are primarily in MO and Kentucky.
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When does this non linear stage hit? And be ready...how? I didnt know it was going to get worse!!!
How ling have u been clean now krax??
I quit on November 15, 2012. On January 25, 2013 I slipped up and took some one day, but none since then.
I think the anxiety started in the second month. The second and third month was tough. My energy really came back last March, and even more and more in the summer. I feel now like I remember feeling before I took ritalin.
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I think that any amount of long term exposure really scrambles your brain. I believe that the title of this thread is applicable to at least 90% of the people on these forums that are in recovery.
agreed. One thing that is weird: I took ritalin, alternating on and off a few times instead with folcain and concerta, for 4.5 years pretty hard. The last six months i was also on wellbutrin. I decided at that point, that whenever I started tweaking out I would dump the rest of my 30 day prescription (of ritalin) and go without until the refill. I did this the whole final 6 months. Sometimes I lasted two weeks, sometimes 2 days, but no matter how long I lasted, the withdrawal was always the same. The only good thing about this is that being on the WB, I developed confidence and a belief that I could function without the ritalin, because I had a number of work related things that I did really well without the ritalin. I finally quit for good when my Dr. gave me a 90 day refill, and after 30 days I dumped it and was done.
Allow me to Add.. to the madness
in Tell your story
Posted
As you will read in more detail elsewhere, recovery progress is not linear. There will be ups and downs.