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About JennyF

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  1. 2yrs

    Congrats on hitting 2 years!! That’s amazing! Could you share what type of struggles do you still deal with?
  2. Hi @jp4revolt, I basically tapered down by 15% every 4 weeks. I split my pills with a pill cutter. It’s hard to be 100% accurate with the split but just do the best that you can. I know some people get a pill crusher and a scale and do it that way. If you’re on extended release that’s the only way to split the capsule. As I said before, this was the only way I was able to quit. It is a bit of a slow torture as you are constantly experiencing withdrawals but they are not as bad as when you quit cold turkey. You should also lower all your expectations about how you’ll feel for the entire first year. In my opinion, quitting is hard but staying sober is even harder. You have to trust the process and know that the first year you’ll have very few good days but it’ll get better. Good luck!
  3. I tried to quit cold turkey several times and I always ended up going back to Adderall because I couldn’t handle the shock my body was in from stopping suddenly such high dose (about 60mg daily). I’m 15 months clean and the only way I was able to stop was by tapering VERY slowly and by the smallest amounts. I created a plan to taper down through several months and stuck to it. I think going ultra slow and being extremely patient is key. I believe that I was both dependent and addicted.
  4. Sleep PAWS?

    Hi everyone, I’m just wondering if any of you still experience sleep disturbance after the first year. I’m at 15 months and I still have nights that I wake up constantly through the night. I’m up for a few mins or even seconds and then I go back to sleep but this happens several times during the night. I call it sleep PAWS lol. Would appreciate any insight on this!
  5. Year Two Malaise

    Hi Speedracer, I just hit 15 months and experience something similar whenever I have too much social interaction. Last week I went to a hike and then a winery with 2 friends. I didn’t drink anything because I’m trying to stay away from alcohol but we were together for the entire day. The next day I woke up feeling as if I had a terrible hangover. Totally drained, no energy, no motivation, felt terrible. This is not the first time this has happened to me and I notice it is always whenever I have to talk to people a lot. My brain can’t handle the extra effort lol. If anyone has any insight on when this gets better please share!
  6. 18 months clean. Hang in there, it’s worth it

    Hi @Socially awkward, thanks for checking in with us. It is great to hear your success story. Can you share a little bit about how you feel at 18 months clean? I’m about 15 months and I’m still struggling with motivation and anhedonia. Also, are you taking any other type of medication like an antidepressant to help you, or do you feel like you’re back to normal now?
  7. Hi @SleepyStupid, Could you share some details about how you felt when you quit Wellbutrin? I’m about 15 months off of Adderall but struggling with motivation, drive and intense anhedonia. I’m really considering giving Wellbutrin a try but I’m terrified that I’ll have to go through another 2+ years of recovery once I decide to quit. Can you share how long were you on it for? Thanks!
  8. Alcohol

    Hi @speedracer, I’m a week away from 15 months. I’m much better overall than in the first year but I still have a very hard time with motivation and drive to do things and my anhedonia is pretty intense. I’ve considered Wellbutrin but I’m terrified to get in the same cycle as I was on Adderall. Not to mention not being able to get the anhedonia fixed naturally for good. Can you share a little bit more about your experience on Wellbutrin? Does it feel like Adderall? Do you get bad come downs? How does it make you feel? How long are you planning on taking it? Sorry for the million questions THANK YOU!
  9. Almost 11 Months!

    Hi @Civilengr2020, congrats on 5 months! I did experience a LOT of mental fog, super low motivation and wasn’t able to concentrate months 1 - 9 (with a few good days here and there) I did the absolute minimum at work. I decided that I wasn’t going to feel bad about it because my recovery was and still is my number 1 priority. Two things that helped me were accepting the situation, lowering my productivity expectations (as this is a temporary process), and taking advantage of the productive days/times to get as much done as I could. I am still forgetful at times but nothing like before. It does get better but you need to give it at least a year. All of those symptoms you mention is just your brain trying to adjust without the drug. I have felt them all and I was so so discouraged thinking that’s how I was going to feel for the rest of my life but it wasn’t. I hit 13 months 2 days ago and I feel a million times better. Although not 100% just yet. I try to stay super close to this forum and read posts from older members. That helped me realize that I wasn’t losing my mind. Read up @Cassie posts. She’s no longer active but she shared a lot of useful information. You got this! You’re almost half way through the worst. Keep going!
  10. Almost 11 Months!

    Hi @EthericTraveler, sorry to hear that you lost your job but congrats on day 40! The first month is not easy. I’d say I feel much better now than when I was on Adderall. I’m a week away from 13 months. I no longer have cravings and my energy and productivity are much better. Unfortunately, the anhedonia is still pretty bad and I also get waives of depression. I try to stay very connected with the forum and read from other people’s experiences. It gives me hope and helps me to keep going. I’m hopeful that things will get better at 18 and then at 24 months. When I was on Adderall I thought I was being super productive and thought that I could not function without it. Looking back it was just the drug talking. All that waisted time on meaningless things could’ve been used in a more efficient way. I used to work 60+ hour weeks like you and I’d take really high doses of Adderall. I lost interest and enjoyment for everyday life. All I wanted to do was work and be “fake productive”. Now that I’m trying to get my life back and the enjoyment for the little things it does not even cross my mind to go back on Adderall. I was done with living numb life. This has been the hardest year of my life but I am NOT going back no matter what Good luck!
  11. Almost 11 Months!

    Hi everyone, It’s been 10 months and 3 weeks since I took my last pill of adderall. I took somewhere between 60mg and 80mg both IR and XR even though I was prescribed only 30mg XR and 15mg IR a day. I was on it for 5 years. I just wanted to hop on here and thank everyone for their posts and for sharing super valuable information. I am 100% confident that I would’ve not made it this far if it wasn't for this forum. I also wanted to share a few things that have helped me this far and that could help you: 1. Lower your expectations on how you are going to feel and your productivity for the FIRST ENTIRE YEAR. Since my last pill I have had more bad days than good. Months 1 - 3 were hard BUT 4 - 9 were unbearable. The anxiety, the depression, the exhaustion, the anhedonia are incredible. Getting close to 11 months I'm finally starting to feel a little productive and happier (some days :)) 2. Put your recovery FIRST. No matter how much pressure you feel to be productive or get out of bed, always think that nothing is more important than your recovery and that the ONLY way to recover is going through this process, giving it TIME. I have done the absolute minimum during this time and I have come to terms with it. 3. Do not put ANY pressure on yourself. Many times I felt that I needed to get out of bed and be productive or go to the gym (I gained a lot of weight) or do laundry when I felt like doing nothing. I would get so frustrated and that made me want adderall even more. DON’T fall for this. You are in a temporary process, just go with the flow. 4. Educate yourself - understand PAWS: Knowing what is happening to your brain and your body is SUPER important. Through my recovery I have had more PAWS days than good days but they are finally starting to ease up. People relapse thinking that they are going crazy and that they’ll never be able to function like a normal person again but that’s not true. 5. Weight gain: I was so hard on myself for gaining 30lbs but you shouldn't. Just accept it and know that this is temporary and you’ll be able to lose the weight once your energy returns. I’m slowly starting to lose it now that I have more energy to exercise and no longer have the crazy hunger. I hope this helps some of you. And remember… there is NO OTHER WAY out than going through it so you just have to keep going!