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LILTEX41

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Posts posted by LILTEX41

  2. The Sinclair Method/ Pharmacological Extinction

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Nicole,

    Thank you so much for all the great info!  So I was wondering though..you mentioned the goal of the Sinclair Method as being abstinence, but how does that work if the reason you wanted to drink again was for social reasons?  Is abstinence your ultimate goal and if so do you feel comfortable going out now because you no longer want it?  Or are you just going to carry on taking the pills for as long as needed?  

  4. The Sinclair Method/ Pharmacological Extinction

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    On 9/8/2018 at 4:27 PM, Nicole88 said:

    Hey friends! I have been meaning to make this post for awhile. Some may remember from my early posts that I was a poly substance abuser- adderall, benzos, and alcohol. Adderall was obviously my first love and everything else was either to ease the come down or enhance the effects of it. While I have been off of adderall and the benzos for about 26 months now, I continued to struggle with periodic episodes of binge drinking. This was always a concern of mine since alcoholism runs heavily in my family but I just never talked about it much on this site since it was not causing too serious of issues other than a hangover. About 6 months ago, I started taking a new medication- naltrexone, which essentially REVERSES alcoholism by blocking the receptors that the endorphins released by alcohol act on. Since this time, I have not had a single binge drinking episode, hangover, regret or embarassment caused by alcohol. I am able to walk away after 1-2 drinks with zero issues. It has truly been life changing for me and I wanted to share since I know there are others who may struggle with this as well. I know for many on this site, total abstinence is the goal, and I think that is great but it is nice to know that there are other options available.   Many who use the Sinclair method do have abstinence as the end goal which is facilitated by this process since cravings are eliminated as the addiction to alcohol is reversed. 

    if anyone would like more information, there is a documentary on Amazon prime called 'one little pill' and also a tedx talk by Claudia Christian 'how I overcame alcoholism.' 

    Hope everyone is well :)

    That sounds amazing but so scary at the same time. When you drank before did it make you want Adderall?  So the pill just kills off the high? Would it be comparable to having a non-alcoholic beer? How long has the medication been around and does it cause any side effects?

    • Like 1

  5. Two Years!

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    I think your post is going to help inspire so many people!  And I love love love that you persevered through the hard times and look at you now!  Even though I might've drifted backwards in my recovery in the past year or so it is still heart warming to see people recover on this site and know that everyone here had an integral part of your success.  I think of where I should and could be now had I not have slid backwards, but what I always tell myself no matter what happens and my advice to anyone with addiction is just never ever give up.  Fall off, get right back on track.  And even though it's a hit to the ego to come back and admit it to everyone, at least you're back on the right path and will have a bright future again.  I think what happened to me is I got caught up with too many drinking friends and got disconnected from my support groups.  Peer influence is so critical.  Your post has and is going to generate so much positivity on this site so I hope we can reignite it once again and get more traffic.  We all have something to offer one another here and it is only by sharing our experience can we be helpful to someone else.  Success stories like yours are the glue that keeps people coming back and offering them hope. :)   I hope that by my experience, others that have taken two steps back will come forward with me and get back on track.  It's never too late to pick up where you left off and live in a way that makes you proud of yourself and happy.  Thank you for sharing all of your successes with us and I hope you continue to do so in the future.  You're an inspiration!  

    <3 LT

    • Like 2

  6. Two Years!

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    That is amazing!!!  I remember when you first came around.  Can't believe 2 years have gone by already!  Way to go!!!

    What kind of job did you get by the way?  That's a pretty remarkable salary for just getting done with college? 

    Congratulations! 

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    A year off adderall and in a bit of a slump

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Hi Nater,

    I cannot emphasize enough that all you need to do is keep moving forward.  That's it.  Stay clean and NEVER EVER even for one second contemplate that your life would be better on that crap.  It takes a long time to get over this mind fk of a drug, but I am telling you if you stay the course and start getting used to your life without it, one day you will look back and forget what it was like.  One day after years of being clean you will no longer think about it anymore.  It'll be easy and you won't be comparing all the mundane chores and work of life to what it used to be like on adderall.  It WILL GET BETTER.

    I have not had a prescription since November of 2010.  I am almost at 8 years.  I was 100% clean from this and another substance (same crap, but worse) for almost 5 years (everything including alcohol) and then I relapsed on alcohol 5 years in and started popping a pill once in a blue moon if I came across one while drinking.  I then went totally sober for 18 months.  Relapsed on alcohol again last year and drank 11 months straight. Was sober again 4 months and then relapsed for a month. I only popped a few pills during here and there during this relapse, but it was enough to scare me badly.  I am on day 12 today of total sobriety again and extremely grateful.  I cannot explain how quickly things got out of hand when I relapsed nor how badly my old neural pathways lit up for stimulants again and took over my rational state of mind.  I had a recent run in with this junk again and it has scared the shit out of me. I forgot just how incredibly powerful these drugs are and what they did to me for so long.  They make life so easy and then absolutely awful when they wear off.  And then you are HOOKED all over again and a total freaking slave to this shit.  I am here to tell you, I've been where you are and PLEASE WHATEVER YOU DO, STAY CLEAN.  IT WILL KEEP GETTING EASIER.  Yes, you are going to still be in a slump 1-2 years after you quit because the memory of what life was like with it is still so fresh. But I can promise you, as the years go by you will one day forget and you will learn how to function without it.  NOTHING is as painful as being hooked on this crap and dealing with all the side effects and consequences of using it.  Eat healthy, exercise, stay clean and keep doing positive things for yourself.  Take baby steps towards productivity.  And be grateful for each and every day you are clean.

    As far as the "will I be happy when" question you posted above...a friend of mine sent this really cool post from Richard Branson the other day and I have to share it.  This one really got me thinking and has been helping me since i read it.  Here you go...

     

    Dear Stranger,

    You don’t know me but I hear you are going through a tough time, and I would like to help you. I want to be open and honest with you, and let you know that happiness isn’t something just afforded to a special few. It can be yours, if you take the time to let it grow.

    It’s OK to be stressed, scared and sad, I certainly have been throughout my life. I’ve confronted my biggest fears time and time again. I’ve cheated death on many adventures, seen loved ones pass away, failed in business, minced my words in front of tough audiences, and had my heart broken.

    I know I’m fortunate to live an extraordinary life, and that most people would assume my business success, and the wealth that comes with it, have brought me happiness. But they haven’t; in fact it’s the reverse. I am successful, wealthy and connected because I am happy.

    So many people get caught up in doing what they think will make them happy but, in my opinion, this is where they fail. Happiness is not about doing, it’s about being. In order to be happy, you need to think consciously about it. Don’t forget the to-do list, but remember to write a to-be list too.

    Kids are often asked: ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’ The world expects grandiose aspirations: ‘I want to be a writer, a doctor, the prime minister.’

    They’re told: go to school, go to college, get a job, get married, and then you’ll be happy. But that’s all about doing, not being – and while doing will bring you moments of joy, it won’t necessarily reward you with lasting happiness.

    Stop and breathe. Be healthy. Be around your friends and family. Be there for someone, and let someone be there for you. Be bold. Just be for a minute.

    If you allow yourself to be in the moment, and appreciate the moment, happiness will follow. I speak from experience. We’ve built a business empire, joined conversations about the future of our planet, attended many memorable parties and met many unforgettable people. And while these things have brought me great joy, it’s the moments that I stopped just to be, rather than do, that have given me true happiness. Why? Because allowing yourself just to be, puts things into perspective. Try it. Be still. Be present.

    For me, it’s watching the flamingos fly across Necker Island at dusk. It’s holding my new grandchildren’s tiny hands. It’s looking up at the stars and dreaming of seeing them up close one day. It’s listening to my family’s dinner-time debates. It’s the smile on a stranger’s face, the smell of rain, the ripple of a wave, the wind across the sand. It’s the first snow fall of winter, and the last storm of summer.

    There’s a reason we’re called human beings and not human doings. As human beings we have the ability to think, move and communicate in a heightened way. We can cooperate, understand, reconcile and love, that’s what sets us apart from most other species. 

    Don’t waste your human talents by stressing about nominal things, or that which you cannot change. If you take the time simply to be and appreciate the fruits of life, your stresses will begin to dissolve, and you will be happier.

    But don’t just seek happiness when you’re down. Happiness shouldn’t be a goal, it should be a habit. Take the focus off doing, and start being every day. Be loving, be grateful, be helpful, and be a spectator to your own thoughts.

    Allow yourself to be in the moment, and appreciate the moment. Take the focus off everything you think you need to do, and start being I promise you, happiness will follow.

    Happy regards,

    Richard Branson

    • Like 6

  10. One Word Status Update

    in Lounge (off-topic stuff)

    Posted

    On 7/16/2018 at 10:04 PM, bluemoon said:

    Omg Lil Tex!! I just passed my motorcycle road test that same weekend too!! What are the odds? Lol. 

    Congrats on 4 months. Hope you are feeling well. xo

    No freaking way!!!  That is crazy!!!  Are you getting a bike????  Congrats btw!!!

    • Like 1

  14. Hang it there, it gets much better!

    in Tell your story

    Posted

    It's posts like this one that give me goose bumps.  I am happy to hear you have 5 years.  That is awesome!!  One thing I gotta mention for the newbies or anyone still struggling on and off.  One of the best ways I came to look at my clean time I got from Smart Recovery is that they don't believe you're back to ground zero if you relapse or lapse.  Instead, we look at all the previous time you had sober as building blocks and none of that time is really ever lost.  Addiction is such a non-linear process for so many people and sometimes it takes some of us a lot of trial and error with our use just to be sure it's no longer an option, not gonna work, and/or give up the battle for good.  Maybe some are just more stubborn than others, but I do know that if you hit 5 years, your chance of relapse is like 14% going forward and that is something to get excited about. :)

    It makes me feel happy to see you are such a pillar of hope now for the newbies.  We never know how many lives we impact by sharing our story on this site, but I know it makes me proud and everyone else to that has been around since your first came on board.  It sure does help to have support and know we're not alone and also if we slip, we still have friends here that can help us get back up.

     

    Thank you for sharing this with us!! Congratulations!!

    • Like 3

  18. Has anyone gotten completely sober since quitting adderall?

    in Tell your story

    Posted

    It is way easier IMO to just get sober.  I've done it a few times in my life and currently at 105 days.  Once you are free of all mind altering substances, the fog lifts and you become crystal clear on everything in life.  It is so much easier to just avoid all of it and not have to worry about what, when, how, or if you are abusing another substance.  And there are no risks!  You get used to living sober 100% all of the time and get to feel everything and learn how to deal/cope with it.  The thing lately that has made me so excited is keeping track of my emotions throughout the day.  In the past, I used to allow myself to relapse over stressful situations or anger, resentment, sadness, etc.  Now I've learned to just simply watch how quickly my feelings pass and know that whatever it is that has me worked up one minute will soon dissipate and I'll be fine again.  Tonight I was in a house with a two year old and got to watch him go through the same process.  One minute he was screaming and crying punching the floor and then the next minute laughing hysterically.  I think the biggest part of addiction is that we quickly learned whenever something upsetting happens, it's best to get high.  And then we get hooked.  And getting clean is relearning how to unhook yourself and self soothe instead.  

     

    Hope this helps and best wishes!!

    • Like 4

  19. Day 6

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Thank you so much you two!!  Today is already Day 95. :)  I cannot begin to tell you how much easier it is to just stay on track and do not relapse.  The battle to stop again has been pretty dang challenging, but it's starting to get easier.  I'm so glad I was an inspiration to you both and hope I can be again.  All I know for sure is that there is a way better life for us that doesn't involve this crap.  I am so blessed to have endured enough pain I had the drive and motivation to get sober again.  I am beyond thrilled at what lyes ahead.  All good things are possible on this path and I pray we can all continue to support one another as we travel this road together. :)

     

    • Like 3

  23. Day 6

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Awe, you guys are so awesome!!  Thank you!!!  Yes, I'm doing SO MUCH BETTER.  I'm back on track and feeling wonderful again.  So glad you're all still here and haven't left!!  Greg, can you believe it's been over 7 years now?  I can't.  Feels surreal to see how far we've come.  Your story is awesome.

     

    Love you guys!! Missed you!

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    How do you fix the life Adderall broke?

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    On 4/17/2018 at 10:42 PM, OnSomething said:

     If I continue using I’ll be dead, but figuring out how to fix what Adderall broke in my life (which is everything) is paralyzing me. What routines did you create? How did you transition back to life? I need hope.

    "If I continue using, I'll be dead."  This is extremely serious.  You need to do whatever it takes to stop and stay stopped. Give yourself 1 year of doing the bare minimum.  Take as much stress out of your life as possible and make it the easiest year of your life. If that means dropping out of school for a year, taking a less stressful job, selling stuff, moving to a smaller place, moving in with your parents, or whatever you need to do to be financially ok for 1 year, then do it.  Get a chill job at a golf course or recreation center.  Just something easy and manageable.  Watch movies, get outside and exercise outdoors.  Sleep.  Get TONS of sleep.  Get rid of anything that triggers your use.  Yes, creating new routines is an excellent idea.  Do the opposite of whatever you were doing in your adderall life to build new neural pathways in your brain so it starts deactivating all your old habits associated with adderall.  Manage whatever tasks or things you have to do in small chunks.  Just set small goals and reward yourself for achieving them without adderall.  Go for a swim, hike, bike ride, grab coffee, see a movie, find a book in a book store and sit for hours reading, go see a concert, or camp out under the stars one night in your backyard.  Do the kind of fun stuff you probably haven't done in years because of this drug and learn to enjoy these things again.  Give yourself 1 year to allow your brain to heal and get yourself back into a positive happy place in life again.  I promise you it's worth it.  You're worth it.  Don't give up!

     

    <3 LT

    • Like 6

  25. Long-term quitters: Any lingering issues?

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    BeHereNow,

    First and foremost, I just have to say how freaking proud I am of you!!  I remember when you first started coming around and it's so awesome to see you made it 5.5 years!!! WOW!!  Great job!!  BUT you finished grad school without adderall??!!!  That's AWESOME!!!  Congratulations!!

    I don't think where you're at has anything to do with the post adderall slump. To me it sounds like you might be just simply burn't out and tired.  I took one month of classes for grad school and decided to get out, lol.  It wasn't that I couldn't do it, but I had no life.  I'd work all day and study all night and I was just drained.  I didn't have any time to workout and I started stress eating which made me start gaining weight so I was like f- that and quit.  Anyhow, you stuck it out and did it!!  That's amazing.  Good for you!  But I can see how you'd be really bumming if you applied for all these jobs after all that work and not having much luck.  I think once you find a job you want and get settled in your career, you'll get back into a normal routine and feel better.

    Hang in there!!!  Oh, and just wondering if you are networking much?  Are you on linked in?  Are you part of any professional networking groups?  I just no for myself of all the jobs I ever landed it was through someone I knew.  We have a group here that's really great. Check it out.  https://www.cypclub.com  See if you can find something like that if you haven't already maybe.

    Keep us posted and good luck to you!!

     

    <3 LT

    • Like 4
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