quit-once

@Fonzarelli Wow, what a story, and so well written! You shared a huge chunk of your life with a person who has no gratitude for your love and companionship. The title of your soon to be documentary is spot on. Best of luck to you.

Welcome! I wish you success on your journey through the Quit.

I think you are taking the right approach to this situation. I have no experience with relationships, only Adderall addiction, and seeing my friends go through it as well. When he realizes that the addiction is not worth the cost to his mind and body, he will quit. Until then, take care of yourself and your kids first.

L-Tyrosine is a great mood booster but it did little for me as an energy booster. Remember: Motivation follows action.

There is nothing wrong with taking energy supplements when you need a boost. Initially, I found a GNC energy pill with capsacain (pepper extract) to both give me the needed energy and replace the habit of taking drugs for pills. Adderall gives you the habit of taking pills throughout the day, which I found weirdly hard to break. Also, I used (sugar free) red bull, 5 hour energy, vitamin B-12, and any other non-amphetamine energy boosters during my first year of recovery. Whatever it takes to stay off the drug. Two months is a great start. I started feeling a little improvement around three months. Keep on going!

Adderall recovery is not a linear process. You will have lots of ups and downs during your first year. For me, three days, three weeks, three months, nine months and two years were the most notable markers of improvement during my recovery.

This is a great reminder of a solid truth about any addiction recovery: the relapse always happens in your mind before you ever get your hands on the substance. Therefore, it should be avoidable until the moment you take the drug again. But, it doesn't always work that way. If I ever start to entertain thoughts of using something again, I try really hard to change the channel and not dwell on that fantasy, because it could become a reality. Practicing thought control. I credit my many years of yoga practice for helping to channel away the harmful thoughts. I have also started doing chakra meditation during the last two years, which is great for channeling your thoughts to where they are needed. I'm glad your relapse was relatively brief and mostly harmless, and that you learned a valuable lesson.

Welcome back, @Doge! Glad to hear you are back on track. Thanks for sharing your cautionary tale that a relapse can happen at any time, no matter how long it has been since you quit. I read a similar story around the time that I quit - I think that person had quit for eight years before their relapse. In fact, it helped me to choose my username which reminds me that it could still happen, even 13 years later. I was visiting with my best friend the other day. We have known each other since we were 12 and we both abused Adderall together. He graduated to meth before quitting. We were having a smoke, despite the fact we had both quit, and discussing how good it tasted when you smoke just one cig. We talked about how we could (carefully) go back to almost any drug we have used in the past (alcohol, weed and cigs), and have a brief moment of enjoyment from ONE serving, put it down and not return to the addiction. But not Adderall or any other stimulant. I truly believe that a return to this awful addiction is only one pill away. "one pill is too many and a thousand is not enough". Quitting is a painful process, and one that I hope to endure only once.

Great advice here! I am going to check out that book and the ap you mentioned.

retired

Welcome back! Thanks for sharing your cautionary tale that a relapse is only one pill away, no matter how long it has been since one has quit. Your comment about good health is spot on. In fact, that was my primary motivation for quitting and staying quit all of these years. I knew I was blessed with good health and if I would have caused a health crisis or a disability from stimulant abuse, I would have had a tough time living with myself and the decisions I made. I quit drinking alcohol about a year ago and I am still amazed at how much better I feel mentally and physically. And a note to our newer members - if you would like to see the recovery journey anyone here had undergone, just go to their profile page and you can read all the posts someone has made since they joined this forum.

I suspect the back pain is due to clonopin withdrawal. I used ativan and adderall together and that back pain was intense on the days I didn't take the benzos.

Even that might not be enough. Depending on how determined you are to continue your pursuit of this addiction, future steps could include finding a drug dealer to purchase pills from or turning to a harsher and stronger stimulant - like METH.

"God helps them who help themselves" -a quote from somewhere in the bible. It really is up to you to take the first big step. Tell your doctor you cannot responsibly use stimulants and tell them how bad you abuse it. Every time. Do you have the balls to do that?