waronwar

I am right there with you guys,... my tolerance is through the roof. I have chronic fatigue (poss. narcolepsy), fibromyalgia and autoimmune stuff. I feel like I can't live with or w/out this poison. It sure has robbed me of any real joy I could experience. I won't even mention my current dosage b/c it can be anywhere from 40XR in AM and I'm struggling to stay awake, or it could be so high I don't even want to keep count (XR and IR)... hot mess. it's time to get this load off my back. I'm so glad to hear I am not alone.

What an amazing site. always felt I was in this alone. I'd like to see the chat function up and running... not that I know anyone but maybe when I'm really struggling it could be the support I need w/out judgement

I sometimes think that I need to go myself. Other days I think I will be alright, but inside I know the drug has a hold on me. Good luck dear!

Hey, it's no joke... you are prob. fine, but I am 35 and after 10 years of steady abuse I see the damage. I even have a nutrition degree and I am so unhealthy. Adderall is to blame for my health. It's the one thing that had more control on me than anything else. After a couple years you might be okay but after 10 years and my other health problems... well I am on my last leg. I have to quit! Still struggling on that. sigh...

I'm right there with you... ten years later and as crazy as I was with the meds throughout the years now that I am planning to quit to get healthy for my wedding and to hopefully have kids, I am more out of control w/ it than ever. My tolerance has never been like this and I just can't even begin to explain why I want to keep taking something that isn't even fun and makes me feel awful. I know it has altered my brain chemistry severely, but the main concern is I have severe chronic fatigue/possible narcolepsy. I remember my life before it and I slept all the time. I am so scared of the withdrawal b/c I could have slept my life away from fatigue before I met AD and the days I don't take it of course I'm worthless. So I expect like some kind of literal paralysis... I feel like I need to get everything ready to hibernate. I can't even imagine not taking it after 10 years. What a mess. Thank you everyone for your inspiration! I will need lots of support.

I can't say I smell it all the time but the dehydration makes my pee smell like ammonia and sometimes I smell the smell just because. I know this is something very wrong going on in my body. You are not crazy... the dehydration factor makes that crazy smell and it kind of makes your whole aura, breath, etc have a strange smell.

so true. adderall actually made me do well in classes i couldn't comprehend at first. After I began to abuse my Rx it made my life and school, grades, everything a well contained mess. Looking back I see it did nothing good at all for me.

Very cool of you to be so open to helping others. Amazing this site exists. Boy this whole situation is hard and I have to know I am stronger but wow. Overwhelmedright now.

Oh my this is an amazing place. i never thought something this amazing would even exist and could possibly help me. I'm a mess... almost a decade of this mind controlling stuff. I'm stuffing emotional pain w/ that euphoric yet destructive med. I hate it, have what seems a normal life but is so empty and speed ridden. I'm a great "functional" addict. People think I'm great... who am I anymore. I'm not fun, I isolate and feel guilt about what a bad friend/fiance/family member I am. I'm choosing this crap over them.... but I'm not I just need support. It's gonna be harder than they know. I have lifelong chronic fatigue, autoimmune markers, pain, and ADD... possibly dyslexia (oh and trauma). I've never had self esteem or felt normal. I'm sad. I want my life back but this drug changes your brain chemistry., esp. after 10 years of binge type use. I'm borderline narcoleptic fatigued, and my brain has never been able to comprehend much. From the age of 2nd maybe 3rd grade I knew I was dumb. I was a defect. This drug helped at first tremendously, but then I abused it and took for granted the possible benefits it could have had. My family history is full of addiction... kept on the down low but full on addicts. I never had the addictive trigger in my brain but I liked to party. this was the only thing that fired that "trigger". I'm amazed that this site is here... and thankful.

I too understand the lifelong lack of something. This drug has made me a mess. I haven't stopped taking yet, but it doesn't work anymore and I can't do anything without it. Good luck to us all... We will find the right way to fill that void, but it's gonna take a lot of work. I'm honestly scared, but I have to do it