SurvivingAdderall w Faith

I've been to AA and online NA meetings and my experience (it's all I can speak of) is... AA was helpful for drinking. But no discussion really allowed pertaining to anything other than alcohol. I thought NA would be better for me, but I haven't found that to happen as of yet. I am still keeping the faith and shall not give up. I even tried an online Meth/Tweakers meeting, but it's just NOT the same. ADDERALL IS ITS OWN ANIMAL! Its recovery is like no other. I can totally relate to the problem of finding a therapist or doctor who truly understands. The fact is, like for anything else in life, you cannot fully grasp the severity, the feelings and emotions, the mental struggles, and everything that goes along with them UNLESS you have been through the same process yourself. I get that the steps are the same for the Anonymous groups, but in my attempts to quit Adderall, they didn't help. Giving up drinking, in my experience, was attainable even though at times it required using Antabuse (a drug that makes you quite ill if you drink on it), but at least there is SOMETHING to help get you started with alcohol abstinence. There is nothing like that for Adderall. Quitting alcohol after drinking heavily for years made me feel foggy, anxious, and confused for a while, but eventually (within the first couple of weeks/months) I began to feel more clear-headed and happier. I could function better than before. I cannot say the same about Adderall. I hate to see others going through this, but it's nice to have people here who can truly understand this devil drug.

HELP!! I thought I submitted 2 replies so why is this box still here???

Thank you for your encouragement and taking the time to reply. I went to the doctor again today. Please read the reply I sent to @eric where he so kindly responded to me, too. I do not fully comprehend how to work this site. quote, reply, forum, etc. I am still learning and I get easily frustrated with anything technology because it torments me. That's what is taking me so lo9ng to get my website up and running. Thanks again and CONGRATS on 7 months. That's awesome!

Thank you so much, Eric! I appreciate everything you said and for motivating me. Thanks for taking the time. I wish this site was more active. I am starting my own site and will be asking for ideas and feedback from this wonderful community, Writing has been therapy for me since 1985! I have my life documented in 72 notebooks and want to share in order to help others, introduce others, and always learn from others. We need support groups, so thank you again! And.... CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

Almost 4 months off the devil pill and then I had a conference for work. I took some with me. Didn't overdue it... or did I? I know I am now. Still taking less than prescribed but ALLLLLLLLLLL the bad feelings and everything bad is back. I'm already depressed and it's just going to get worse. Just thought I should confess. Uggghhhh! Am I totally starting over? I can't fathom the first couple of months again. If you've had a 10-day long relapse, is it just as hard getting back to life again? Any replies are much appreciated.

@risingpheonix

You are torturing yourself. I know because I've done the same for so long. Recently I found a few diet pills we got in Mexico. I took one the other day and was all too well reminded of the Adderall feeling. So I only took a half the next day. The next day I hated myself and surrendered with my hands up saying, "God, please take this from me!!!!! I can't get back into this something just as bad!!!" I thought about the cycle of psychosis and trashed the remaining pills TODAY!! I knew it would be a mental war just to keep them around, or I'd be hooked on yet another type of speed. I am finally seeing that I am, indeed, strong, thanks to God. I could've never done that on my own. I couldn't do it with Adderall, so that's when I turned myself in to my doctor saying I may need to be committed if I'm on Adderall one more day. Throw out the devil pills. Save yourself while you still can!!! Come on, you got this, girl!! @risingpheonix

Hey, Phoenix! I changed my screen name from Faith and Hope because my plan all along was this screen name. My Adderall brain is so jacked. And I just see that I began typing this last night, but apparently forgot about it. So stupid, but showing that my brain is healing from this effffed up drug. Depending on what insurance you have- I believe it's most of them- they offer a program called Able To. Call your ins company and ask. I was awarded a therapist and a behavioral coach each once a week, for 8 weeks, at no cost to me. I had to trade in the first therapist, but the replacement is phenom and so is the behavioral coach. Check it out. Definitely worth it.

THANK YOU for keeping us posted. CONGRATS!!!!! I just joined a few days ago. I'm close to 3 months off the devil pill and this website has saved me. I LOVE writing and this devil stole that, along with everything else ME, during the past few years. I was prescribed this crap for 13 years and took as directed. That makes no difference. It has F'd up my life, my personality, ME!!! I am interested to know, and planning on sharing my own experience, how and when and WHAT you noticed when it hit you that this pill was not helping, but killing you??? For me, I was fine for the first 10 years or so. Or so I thought. But the noticeable change within myself started about 3 years ago and progressively got worse. Fast. And scary. Thanks again and I hope to hear more of your journey that led you to quit. You and everyone else who shares is saving me and countless others!

But it helps me to believe that pushing through this will make me stronger, and that next time things go south, I'll naturally deal with things better. I'm hoping... YES!!!! I LOVE that you not only recognize and feel this way, but that you put it down for the world to see. THIS, my friend, is why I finally created an account today after 2 years of attempting to quit. I'm only at 11 weeks, but that is major major major for me. I never thought I could do it and coming even just this far proves that I am indeed strong and worth the fight. We are getting our authentic selves back. Didn't you miss her??? I sure did. And through the misery, I keep reminding myself that my poor little authentic self was kidnapped by Adderall. F that! She's coming back better than ever! So proud of you for almost a year. I feel like you got this, friend @risingpheonix!

@sirod9 thank you so much for this! Makes total sense!!!!! also for @risingpheonix - I apologize in advance for the crudeness, but.... this shit is a total, ABSOLUTE mind fuck!!! I am only (almost) two and a half months off of the devil pill, so I remember clearly numerous instances of waiting for my Rx to be refilled because I couldn't get out the bed. No energy. No motivation. And even too tired to sleep, if that makes sense. Oh, but MAGICALLY, as soon as I get the notification from the pharmacy that my Rx was ready for pick up, I was ALIVE! Energized! Motivated! Couldn't wait to get out the bed, in the car, to the pharmacy. Just ANTICIPATING consumption of that devil pill got me moving. This is exactly what a mind fuck truly is. It is comments like these you've both shared that help get me through each and every day. It is the same for me with alcohol. I could totes be NEEDING a drink. Miserable. Pissy. Annoyed. Hating the world. But AS SOON AS someone mentioned the bar is open, my mood escalated and I was pleasant to be around again. How F'd up is that?!?!?!?! Thanks again to both of you for sharing!

Hello and thank you to everyone on this site. I have been referencing it for almost 2 years and finally signed up with a profile today. My name is Amy, I think... Take a look at my profile for elaboration . Any advice regarding how to fully benefit from this site as well as how and where to help others by sharing my experience with Adderall is much appreciated. This website has literally saved my life and I owe it to my #adderallcommunity to pay it forward as best I can. I believe every single shared comment and story helps at least one person. No matter how different we may be, the Adderall experience is one that only those who go through it can FULLY comprehend. THANK YOU for having me! (I'm not sure where to most effectively post this, so I apologize for the duplicate(s). Should it be under Status?? Forum?? Topic??)