ALA

@Trevor95I think it's so admirable that you're joining this program. One of my weaknesses is not asking for help, feeling like I can tackle this addiction issue alone, and all I can say is although I am over 3 months sober, I struggle so deeply on a daily basis. I know I would not struggle as much if I felt connection and help from a source like AA or NA. Know that seeking help is the first step in getting back to enjoying life again. Keep with your plan.

@Chihuahua Lover& @TeresaKeep going. This thread has been just what I needed this morning, a tremendous reminder to keep going. It gets better. The more you show up for yourself, the more you show up for your kids and your grandbabies, and the less you glamorize the damn drug. Showing up right now simply means not listening to that 5% of your brain that is trying to deceive you. Focus on what the 95% is telling you, showing you, proving to you, what you are capable of. 97 days. LFG.

Yes, I feel the same exact way! And I'd love to be your accountability partner. Huge milestone coming your way. Thanks for connecting.

I'm proud because I have found a way to rid this drug for a full 3 months. I'm defeated because I woke up this morning craving the damn drug. Although the cravings come up less frequently than last month, they are still intense. But I'll keep going because the one thing that keeps me sober from this drug is how much my body is thanking me for choosing it this time.

Yes, I have also found that too much caffeine brings about anxiety now. Sucks cuz I need the boost in energy but not the anxiety so I usually limit myself to 1-1/12 cups of coffee a day now.

To preface, I love and appreciate the connection with anyone on this forum, but I'd really like to connect with other moms who have successfully quit Adderall. I also need some accountability right about now, and my husband just doesn't quite get what's it like being off this drug. He just sees me doing "fine", with harder days trickled in, but in reality every day is a struggle. I'm 82 days clean from Adderall and am having a particularly hard morning because my young kids didn't sleep the best last night. Another one of my triggers: poor sleep. This is part of the course with young kids (mine are 6 and 1.5 years) but I notice myself daydreaming about having just one more pill so I can get through the work day. Anyway, I don't need to get into it, but am more so looking for others who are like me or others who have some words of wisdom or advice. Thanks y'all.

Hi @ScaredtoFall- welcome to the forums. I think many people come to this site in a state of desperation, a deep want for change, while still maintaining that anonymity. I think this is a place we come to know that it's possible for this change to happen, through the stories, the successful and unsuccessful trials of quitting the drug. I think you posting was an admirable first step and now it's time to read others' stories so you don't feel so alone. This is also the time to make a plan for yourself for this change to happen. I'm almost 3 months out (so still in the hardest part of the recovery/discovery process), and all I can relay and reiterate is there is no perfect time to quit, but if you have the structures in place when you decide to quit, the next chapter won't feel so hard. Here's what I had in place: 1) my husband was completely aware of me decreasing my dose, throwing away pill bottles after refilling them, and when I decided to cut off my psychiatrist who was supplying them. You need to clue your partner in with the real reasons you want to quit so he help you. The shame you feel will disappear as soon as you follow through with what you want to do with your partner's help. I get triggers every Monday and when I'm assigned a big work task - my husband is the person I text to let him know I'm feeling this trigger and then he calls me immediately so I can talk through what I'm feeling. If not your partner, choose this site or someone that can keep you feeling sane, reassured, and comforted. 2) implement a new workout or supplement routine that makes you feel healthy and strong. Adderall made me feel so sickly and weak in the final years that when I decided to quit, I just wanted to feel strong again, so I focused more on my body and getting my body healthier and less so on my mind and my fuzziness/lack of attention span. Now I choose to do cardio or strength workouts in replace of Adderall and the end result is muscles, healthier eating and less other bad habits like drinking. No more fragile-looking, achy, malnourished little girl. Remember: the body keeps the score and is the first to alert you when what you're putting in it is not right. 3) write down all the reasons you despise this drug and find a picture of yourself that epitomizes your journey with this drug - paste it on your mirror or keep it handy in your purse for when you need a reminder of what you don't want. 4) know that you'll glorify this drug for some time. I, like you, was diagnosed multiple times with ADHD, which truly made it seem silly to quit. But now I look back and see the docs that prescribed me this drug glorify it as well but speak very little about the negative side effects and the realities of addiction. Like many say on here, this drug is simply not sustainable. You'll never be able to take it as prescribed once you've abused it. There's more I can speak of, but I'll be discovering the new me for awhile, and you know what, that actually excites me whereas me getting back on Adderall means that this version that I've worked so hard at discovering would be dead. Keep posting here. I wouldn't be where I am without the support from the newbies, in-betweens, and oldies on this site. Everyone that is battling this drug has some wisdom.

Ooooff that's some willpower right there. Good for you. I'm only at 2.5 months, and I feel cravings when work-related tasks come into play, but there is no way I'd be able to pass up taking just one pill if I had them accessible to me. I try to remind myself as well that taking just one would either do one of two things: start me back in that horrible cycle or make me feel so utterly guilty that I wouldn't even get work done. Go you, seriously, you should be proud of yourself!

Welcome y'all! I'm still a newbie, but I rid my Adderrall and its prescription/connection to a psychiatrist in January, and it's been 74 days without the devil drug. I decided to quit after being on it for a decade, mostly deciding to quit because of the health decline I have been experiencing over the last year. I can't say the withdrawal process doesn't suck, but I can say my health is the best it's been. Keep posting here -- this community is fantastic, and I wouldn't have been able to go this long without it.

Thanks for the responses. What really helps during those hard days is reading through the posts on this site. What a godsend ya'll are. Seriously, I feel so less alone and less crazy when I read through everyone's experience, finding so many relatable tendencies and struggles. I usually come across at least a dozen that talk about relapsing and how that in itself is way worse than the bad days off Adderrall. Well, I'll chalk up today as a day I am mortified and disgusted by this damn drug so I keep going.

It still boggles my mind how one day I can think so disgustingly about my relationship/experience with Adderrall and then the next day crave it. What a mind game here. I feel like I felt stronger the first few weeks after I stopped taking the damn drug compared to how I feel hitting just over 2 months. Any one else have this experience?

@Krae19 Thanks for your support! It's midweek in the evening, and typically at this point of the workweek, I can say yes, it's getting easier. My struggles are at the beginning of the workweek (Monday, you suck) and when I think about getting a new job or tackling a daunting task. What this shows me, though, is I'm becoming more aware of my triggers and instead of refilling my prescription, I'll text my husband that I'm having a trigger and after we talk through it the feeling typically passes. The other HUGE change that is making the process easier is how good my body feels (no more neck and overall body pain!). The body will always keep the score.

61 days today. I appreciate everyone's responses to my rants and wonderings. I know this is a two person relationship here, with my psychiatrist and the addicted me. I can't fully blame her for pushing the meds, but it's unfortunate that the huge medical system that I belong to doesn't provide addiction support or even a referral to a licensed therapist that specializes in addiction. Sucks doing this journey alone.

Just giving an update and need to vent. Met with my psychiatrist this week to check in with how I'm doing off meds. The conversation was only 5 minutes in which I tried my best to say that I was doing okay and managing life without them. She, however, kept pushing to make sure I didn't want to try alternative ADHD medications, which was frickin so hard to decline. Like, wtf, why do you have to make this harder than it already is? Do docs get extra pay or something for pushing these drugs on us? Anyway, I left the appointment feeling rightfully triggered, but I made it another day, and that's all that matters.

Thank you for replying @Jon B& @quit-once! This statement right here is so powerful. I never want to go back to the constant ups and downs -- that is where I felt the most crazy! And that is where my family suffered the most, not knowing what mood I'd be in. At least now, by the end of the day, I feel accomplished and balanced. Wow, 12 years?!! So admirable and motivating. I appreciate you messaging about the recovery process, surviving the hard months, what to look forward to, and the reminder to keep posting.