ashley6

Ok, I made that sound really casual, but to be honest it's freaking me out. I hope this isn't a set back in my head.

I'm getting rid of my Lortabs today. I've had some pain, so I'll keep one on hand in case. I don't know if it's mental or if I actually feel good with them, but I don't dislike them, and that's enough risk for me to deal with some pain. It's crazy how careful I have to be, but adderall addiction is bad enough, I don't want to ever deal with anything like that again.

This is my second one. I think root canals have a way worse reputation than they actually are....I agree. This one was more intense than my other one, though. We'll see how it goes. I'm going to nap it off right now

Cassie, I know you weren't talking to me, but I'd love some easy recipes! I do NOT cook, but I need to start if I want to eat healthy.

Interesting. Almost every adderall dream I have, I'm contemplating if I relapsed, like it slips my mind that I'm in recovery, and I think in the dream, "is this really happening or oops, did I relapse...I'm not supposed to take adderall." I remember a lot of my dreams, I'm thinking a dream journal? Do you get them often?

They gave me like 17 lortabs, but I'm going to plan on taking them only today and tomorrow if the pain is bad. I took a half so far. There was some serious drilling going on, so I imagine I'll feel that after the numbness wears off. I've never heard the term "discerning addicts," but that's interesting and think that is true for me. I think my main concern is what the AA belief is...that any mind-altering substance will affect the addict, but you make a good point with the klonopin. I can't fathom abusing it to get high....that would be so lame to me. l'll just take the pain pills with caution and take as few as possible. Thanks for your input!

I don't remember swallowing them...just the visual of seeing them on my tongue along with feeling that sensation. Flipping crazy. I have so many adderall dreams. This is the first one that kind of got to me.

Thanks guys! Root canal is done as of an hour ago. They said I should expect significant pain and prescribed me Lortabs. I don't know what to do. I don't remember liking them the one other time I took them.

Yes, I don't remember dreaming in color besides one other time when I took melatonin. This time...fucking orange without melatonin.

I had this vivid dream of me taking a bunch of adderall halves out of a drawer and looking at my tongue seeing the orange pills sitting there. There were like 8 halves in my mouth. Ughh...it was way too vivid. It's amazing to me that 11 months later I'm having such realistic dreams like that, and this isn't rare, just more vivid. I woke up feeling so uncomfortable. I take it as a reminder when even though I've been feeling good, I still have to remember where I came from not so long ago.

Crayarthur, It doesn't work that way. Once you've crossed the line into addiction, the drug can no longer be used as it's supposed to. Ask any of us here. I think we've probably all tried at one time or another to "take as prescribed." after abusing. It's quitting or addiction.

I had these episodes for sure and still do, just not as much. When I feel this way, I want to do absolutely nothing, and often times I won't. I realized how much this feeds into the cycle of feeling blah. A little sunlight or just getting out of the house for even a half an hour, is helpful, even if it's the last thing in the world you want to do. Not to get too personal, but does it happen to be that time of the month? I've noticed I get this way every month at the same time from the dreaded PMS like clockwork, then 3 days later I'm back to my normal self. This too shall pass!

It doesn't sound like you're nearly ready to quit and that's sad to me, but only you can make that decision. Is the hell that you've been feeling the past few days any indication as to what this drug is doing to you, if that's what happens when you don't take it? I sincerely hope you come to a place when you realize life abusing adderall really isn't life at all.

This is not a small, but a huge victory. Sometimes we only know how strong we are when faced with a situation like this, and quite frankly, you nailed it. Way to go!

Searchingsoul, I've been told by my counselor that a change of seasons is a common time for relapse with addicts, even if it's summer. It kind of surprised me, but I understand it now. You'll get through it, just keep reminding yourself that things will get better, and you won't be reminded of adderall constantly with some time under your belt. I still think about it a lot, but it's different thinking than when I first quit....not cravings really. It was also 7 years of my life, so I have many, many years of relating everything to adderall. You can get through it if I am p.s. I want a juicer!!!

When you come to the realization that adderall is draining your soul and no longer allowing you to be happy, that's a big turning point. I'm glad you came here. Keep posting. It's like having your own little cheerleaders...we've been through it and will support your newfound sobriety. Hang in there, hour by hour, minute by minute. Congratulations on the big step!

Oh yeah, that makes sense. Proud of you!

Ok, finished my 12 miles. Your turn! I rarely look forward to it, but it's always worth it afterwards We need to get MFA on board Right, MFA??

InRecovery, I'm glad you're doing this with me, because I have zero motivation today, but I thought, "InRecovery is doing this, get your ass to the gym, Ashley." And here I am

I finished up mile 7.5 today, so 4.5 left tomorrow since my "week" starts on Saturday. Keep it up!

This is fabulous, LilTex. I will be doing this soon, and I'm kind of excited to see the results, because I already know immediately that my new life is the best life, but I think seeing it on paper will be good for me. Thank you for sharing

A ballet of swans is my favorite. Very cool!

This made me smile more than once. http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/the-happiest-facts-of-all-time?s=mobile

ing so much better in time. Sorry that cut off. Keep it up, girl....proud of you!

Lea, Absolutely. Even though I felt meh, there was and is a sense of peace in knowing life is going to get so much better. The little things are great to focus on, because they're just an introduction to feel